On the (Im)possibility and Bliss of Telling My Dad, "I Love You"

While fathers seldom say "I love you" to their son(s), there is also acknowledgment that sons rarely say it to their father. Confessions of love are like notes in a melody of previous affirmations, so what is it like for a son to say it, especially if large parts of his life are spent in "connective avoidance" with his dad? Writing on the (im)possibility of eventually saying "I love you", just before he died, I offer a "blissfully poetic" account of the experience of saying it. I also reflect on the lingering significance it has had for my experience of loss and bereavement. Although this text offers no easy formula, it ends by showing what a text of bliss might eventually look like for a son in recovery. Addressing the questions, so what? And, now what, then? implications beyond the self are also considered.Sowohl Väter als auch Söhne sagen einander selten, dass sie sich lieben. Solche (Nicht-) Aussagen gründen in einer geteilten Geschichte, warum sollte also z.B. ein Sohn seinem Vater seine Liebe eingestehen, nachdem er sein ganzes Leben in einander verbundener Vermeidung verbracht hat. In diesem Beitrag schreibe über die (Un-) Möglichkeit, meinem Vater, bevor er starb, meine Liebe zu bekunden und zeige zugleich in poetischer Weise, welches Glück die Erfahrung bedeutet hat, sie schließlich doch noch auszudrücken. Obwohl ich kein einfaches Schema anbieten kann, ende ich mit einem Einblick in die Bedeutung dieses "Geständnisses" für mein eigenes Wohlbefinden. Zugleich biete ich Fragen und Lesarten an, die über mich selbst und meine eigene Involviertet hinausgehen

First my dad, then my iphone:An autoethnographic sketch of digital death

Potentially lousy singing and research poetry are used to make sense of losing - soon after he died - my iPhone containing video footage of my father singing. Since I did not back up this digital treasure, not only is he now physically dead, he is digitally dead (MONCUR, 2016) too. Considering how bereavement is shaped by digital death, in this article I focus on my experience of grief following this double loss. How is a lost video and the device that stored my memories impacting my encounter with loss? Haunting, and being haunted by, digital technology and the lost treasure, I write my way through this combined loss, showing what (im)mortality in a digital context brings me into contact with. I hope this writing connects with and encourages those struggling to persevere with similar technology-based hauntings.Es ist mir sehr schwer gefallen zu akzeptieren, dass ich - kurz nach seinem Tod - mein iPhone mit Videoaufzeichnungen meines singenden Vaters verloren habe. Da ich diesen digitalen Schatz nicht gesichert hatte, ist mein Vater nun nicht nur physikalisch, sondern auch digital tot (MONCUR 2016). Indem ich mir vergegenwärtige, wie der schmerzliche Verlust durch digitalen Tod gerahmt wurde, wende ich mich in diesem Artikel meiner Trauererfahrung nach diesem doppelten Verlusterleben zu. In welcher Weise beeinflusst das verlorene Video mit den aufgezeichneten Erinnerungen mein Erleben des Verlusts? Ich zeichne mein Ringen um die Bedeutung digitaler (Un-)Sterblichkeit nach und hoffe, andere zu ermutigen, die mit ähnlichen technologie-basierten Einschnitten zu kämpfen haben

The Neptune-Sized Circumbinary Planet Kepler-38B

We discuss the discovery and characterization of the circumbinary planet Kepler-38b. The stellar binary is single-lined, with a period of 18.8 days, and consists of a moderately evolved main-sequence star (M-A = 0.949+/-0.059 M-circle dot and R-A = 1.757+/-0.034 R-circle dot) paired with a low-mass star (M-B = 0.249+/-0.010 M-circle dot and R-B = 0.2724+/-0.0053 R-circle dot) in a mildly eccentric (e = 0.103) orbit. A total of eight transits due to a circumbinary planet crossing the primary star were identified in the Kepler light curve (using Kepler Quarters 1-11), from which a planetary period of 105.595+/-0.053 days can be established. A photometric dynamical model fit to the radial velocity curve and Kepler light curve yields a planetary radius of 4.35+/-0.11 R-circle plus, or equivalently 1.12+/-0.03 R-Nep. Since the planet is not sufficiently massive to observably alter the orbit of the binary from Keplerian motion, we can only place an upper limit on the mass of the planet of 122 M-circle dot(7.11 M-Nep or equivalently 0.384 M-Jup) at 95% confidence. This upper limit should decrease as more Kepler data become available.NASA, Science Mission DirectorateNASA NNX12AD23GNational Science Foundation AST-1109928, AST-0908642, AST-0645416, AST-1007992McDonald Observator

Search for dark matter produced in association with bottom or top quarks in √s = 13 TeV pp collisions with the ATLAS detector

A search for weakly interacting massive particle dark matter produced in association with bottom or top quarks is presented. Final states containing third-generation quarks and miss- ing transverse momentum are considered. The analysis uses 36.1 fb−1 of proton–proton collision data recorded by the ATLAS experiment at √s = 13 TeV in 2015 and 2016. No significant excess of events above the estimated backgrounds is observed. The results are in- terpreted in the framework of simplified models of spin-0 dark-matter mediators. For colour- neutral spin-0 mediators produced in association with top quarks and decaying into a pair of dark-matter particles, mediator masses below 50 GeV are excluded assuming a dark-matter candidate mass of 1 GeV and unitary couplings. For scalar and pseudoscalar mediators produced in association with bottom quarks, the search sets limits on the production cross- section of 300 times the predicted rate for mediators with masses between 10 and 50 GeV and assuming a dark-matter mass of 1 GeV and unitary coupling. Constraints on colour- charged scalar simplified models are also presented. Assuming a dark-matter particle mass of 35 GeV, mediator particles with mass below 1.1 TeV are excluded for couplings yielding a dark-matter relic density consistent with measurements

Shared genetic risk between eating disorder- and substance-use-related phenotypes:Evidence from genome-wide association studies

First published: 16 February 202