Marital Dialogue - between Conflict, Agreement and Relationship Breakdown

Marital dialogue plays an essential role in shaping the relationship between spouses and supports experiencing personal I in the context of the community – We. In these couples, where dialogue is going well, it fulfi ls the function of a secure base forming a community based on the foundation of unity. However, contemporary culture denies an interpersonal dialogue the authenticity and engagement, emphasizing individualistic attitudes, preoccupation with oneself, leading to relationship and community disintegration and breakdown. This paper is to present the authors twenty year research into bonds, communication styles, marital confl icts and ways of coping with them. The research shows various issues related to developing the interpersonal dialogue and thus creating bonds and unity in the marriage and family. At fi rst, the research devoted to the transmission of generation patterns in the family is presented and it is followed by presentation of selected psychological factors infl uencing marriage quality and marital satisfaction

Analiza jakości relacji małżeńskich rodziców dziecka niepełnosprawnego w sytuacji stresu psychologicznego

Analyzing the problem of family with disabled child experiencing the stress of everyday life several factors should be taken into account: external situational factors, internal factors of personality and community, the effects of functioning under stress and coping with the stress of disability. Stressors of everyday life, stages of family life and the process of adaptation of parents to the child’s disability were the situational factors. In contrast, the most important personality factors supporting the process of coping included remedial emotional resources, especially the differences in emotionality of women and men and the differences in emotional reactions to stress (coping strategies). Efficient and effective way to overcome the stress of disability was a collaboration of the spouses in the struggle with adversity. The quality of relationships in the family, especially understanding and acceptance of the marital dyad partners, was a decisive predictor of well-being and happiness of the entire family system

Mothers’ co-dependence and their daughters’ patterns of attachment and romantic relationships as adult children of alcoholics: an explorative study

Tekst równolegle w j. pol. i j. ang.Postawy rodzicielskie w rodzinach dysfunkcyjnych, zwłaszcza w rodzinie z problemem alkoholowym, odgrywają ważną rolę w kształtowaniu dezadaptacyjnych wzorców zachowań u dzieci. Wielokrotnie odnoszono się do wpływu ojca uzależnionego od alkoholu na rodzinę, jednak przekazywanie dzieciom postaw współuzależnionych matek wydaje się obszarem mało zbadanym. Podstawą do analizy tej problematyki była teoria przywiązania Johna Bowlby’ego, podkreślająca wyjątkową rolę matki w wychowaniu dziecka i tworzeniu wzorców przywiązania w dzieciństwie

Balansowanie pomiędzy pracą a życiem osobistym: Analiza uwarunkowań psychologicznych w kontekście rodzinnym

Abstract The idea of reconciling work with personal life was in its heyday at the turn of the 20th century when people realised that it was impossible to completely separate these inextricably linked spheres of human existence. Neglecting either of them, and not only in the scientific discourse but also in everyday life, is in many aspects detrimental to close relationships and to the performance at work. Nevertheless, a perfect combination of these two dimensions of human activity seems almost unattainable, as a growing number of contemporary studies show. Becoming involved in one entails some negligence in the other. The family context represents a relevant example of the attempts to reach the work-life balance. It is increasingly frequent that the contemporary young adults’ generation prioritise work, individual career, and personal development in their hierarchy of values. They delay their decisions on starting a family, having children, or simply settling down until they have achieved an adequate status and prosperity. Seeking to satisfy the need for close bonds, many young adults engage in only temporary relationships (cohabitation, swingers), but also create substitutes thereof. This generation succumbs to a growing sense of loneliness, despite the fulfilling careers or satisfying material and social statuses.Idea godzenia pracy zawodowej z życiem osobistym przeżywała swój rozkwit na przełomie XX i XXI wieku, kiedy zrozumiano, że nie jest możliwe zupełne rozłączenie tych dwóch sfer funkcjonowania człowieka, ponieważ nierozerwalnie się splatają. Pomijanie jednej lub drugiej sfery, nie tylko w dyskursie naukowym, ale także w codziennym życiu, ukazuje wiele strat w obszarze bliskich relacji (zaniedbania), ale także niższą wydajność pracy. Niemniej jednak, idealne połączeni obu tych wymiarów aktywności człowieka wydaje się niemal niemożliwe, jak pokazuje rosnąca liczba współczesnych badań. Zaangażowanie w jedną pociąga za sobą zaniedbania w tej drugiej sferze. Kontekst rodzinny jest znaczącym przykładem prób godzenia pracy zawodowej z życiem osobistym. Współczesne młode pokolenie osób dorosłych w swej hierarchii wartości stawia na pierwszym miejscu coraz częściej pracę zawodową i indywidualną karierę oraz rozwój osobisty. Ta młoda generacja odsuwa w czasie decyzje o założeniu rodziny, poczęciu dzieci czy ustabilizowaniu się, do momentu osiągnięcia odpowiedniego statusu oraz dobrobytu materialnego. W celu spełnienia potrzeby bliskich relacji wielu z młodych dorosłych wiąże się jedynie w związkach przejściowych (kohabitację, swingersi), ale także tworzy substytuty więzi. Pokolenie to doświadcza rosnącego poczucia osamotnienia, pomimo spełnienia zawodowego, satysfakcjonującej pozycji materialnej czy społecznej

Kompetencje społeczne i lęk w relacjach interpersonalnych

Autorka analizuje problem budowy relacji społecznych, skupiając się na szczegółowej analizie problemu w trzech kategoriach: budowy kontaktów społecznych, problemu lęku w tychże kontaktach oraz wsparcia społecznego. Analiza kontaktów społecznych skupia się na wyszczególnieniu prawidłowości i nieprawidłowości w budowie relacji społecznych. Autorka charakteryzuje tego typu relacje, podkreślając potrzebę przynależności do grupy społecznej, jakość kontaktów społecznych, szczegółowo opisuje czynniki istotne w nawiązywaniu relacji społecznych oraz podkreśla umiejętność ich podtrzymywania i kształtowania. Autorka podkreśla wagę problemu zaburzeń w kontaktach społecznych i wynikającą z nich postawę lękową, opisując kształtowanie się stylu lękowo-ambiwalentnego, zaburzenia lękowe i depresyjne oraz objawy świadczące o postawie lękowej. W artykule zwrócono również uwagę na młodzież jako grupę szczególnie narażoną na doświadczanie zjawisk lękowych. Ostatnia część rozważań została poświęcona wsparciu społecznemu, które zdaniem psychologów najskuteczniej chroni jednostkę ludzką przed pojawieniem się lęku

Emocje i płeć : studium dynamiki zaangażowania i dystansowania w związkach romantycznych

The monograph is the result of the search for causes and conditions of well-being in close relationships. Some of the intimate relationships are more satisfying than others; they are certainly all heterogeneous, variable, dynamic and interesting. This publication is a voice in a rich discussion of gender, identity, emotionality, social roles and relationship formation. It emphasizes human emotionality as a factor differentiating and bonding close relationships, including intimate ones. The structure of the monograph reflects the issues which are raised in it: gender – femininity – masculinity – romantic relationships. Numerous attempts to define the sexes and to determine the differences between the sexes against the background of theoretical and ideological disputes have been explained. Additionally, the theme of what connects a woman and a man and how they create intimate ties has been taken up. The division of the chapters into Women and Men is, on the one hand, a simple separation of the two genders, and, on the other, an attempt to compare the differences in order to show their meaningfulness, although attempts have been made to avoid stigmatizing simplifications. The second important task of the monograph is to present our own research against the background of thematically selected international research. The main aim of the research is to show the emotional nature of women and men and its dimensions: disposition (traits) and emotional state in the context of everyday life stress. The issue of stress is related to the difficulties of everyday life, such as: high school exam, examination session and the stress of adult life – overlapping of social roles and obligations. The research assumed that a different type of emotionality associated with sexual conditions will correlate with different styles of reaction to stress and different ways of dealing with stress. The first chapter presents the theoretical foundations of gender and individual differences. Reflections on the gender phenomenon began with treating it as an indicator of identity. It points out different ways in which an individual influences the surrounding environment – as a woman or a man; an individual creates reality in a specific and unique way. Describing gender, we are moving both in the contexts of nature as well as culture, which are familiar with biological threads, but also social references. A person becomes fully oneself through the presence of other important people that shape him or her. He/she creates relationships with others that are meaningful to him/her throughout his/her life and often give this life meaning. Hence, the definition of sexuality has been preceded by a description of what identity and constructs of the Self are, as well as by the indication of gender stereotypes in contemporary societies. In this context, individual differences have been treated after Jan Strelau as a common phenomenon characterizing people, leading to the belief that there are no personal traits that would not differentiate individuals in the population. This genetically determined uniqueness, which helps to understand specific forms of human adaptation to the surrounding environment, has been explained mainly on the basis of the functioning of the emotional system in both genders. Chapters Two and Three, on women and men, are somewhat parallel. Each of them, starting with an explanation of identity-related phenomena, refers to biological, psychological and social perspectives. They highlight the unique dimension of the female interdependent self and the male independent self, as components of the same human nature. In turn, looking at emotional phenomena has served to highlight both similarities in some areas and differences in other areas between women and men. The importance of those emotional phenomena that specifically distinguish between feminine and masculine behaviour has been emphasised, namely: empathy, emotional intelligence and involvement in helping others. The importance of experiencing and coping with stress by women and men proved to be important in this context. Both chapters conclude with the presentation of a vision of women and men in the 21st century, in which clear genderrelated characteristics are beginning to change – both women and men are taking on the features of a new identity, marked by the cultural phenomena of our times. The phenomena of social roles, achieving professional success, maintaining a balance between family and professional life and sustainable development have been assumed to be crucial. The fourth chapter presents the results of own research on emotionality and the ways of dealing with stress in women and men. It presents the research problem which assumes that there is a link between emotionality, including emotional dispositions and states, and the strategies used to deal with everyday stress in both genders. From the adopted theories of personality and theory of emotion, an assumption has emerged that there is a permanent personality predisposition to respond in a specific way to difficult, problematic or threatening situations. Along with the research issues, a description of the method, research tools, selection of persons, the research model and the research variables have appeared. Presenting the results of the research, the emotional nature of women and men, typical ways of coping with stress and the effect of interaction of these two factors in each gender have been characterized. On the basis of the research conclusions, the female and male type of emotionality and the female and male style of reaction in stressful situations have been proposed and compared. The importance of emotionality in romantic relationships in the 21st century is described in Chapter Five. Starting from the premises related to the contemporary culture of individualism, egalitarianism and individual freedom, one wondered what closeness is. The ideas of freedom and independence have led to two extreme attitudes: the fear of closeness and the fear of rejection and, consequently, the fixation on autonomy to conceal a deep sense of loneliness. Healthy closeness, also known as interdependence, is more than just the sum of the dispositions of the partners. This area of closeness is defined in the monograph as emotionality treated as a particular kind of intrapersonal resource, in the sense of the dominant emotional style: positive (positive resource) or negative (negative resource). In the positive emotional style, empathy plays a unique role, as both cognitive and behavioural component, which leads to greater involvement and satisfaction with the romantic relationship. The complementarity between woman and man is based on this kind of empathy and engagement in the relationship. In view of the widespread feeling of loneliness, Martin Buber proposed as an antidote an empathic and caring attitude of responsibility for himself and for others. Ultimately, this chapter emphasises the importance of a balance between family and professional life, which is achieved through changes in the work system that have made it possible to combine tasks from different spheres of life more flexibly. This has led to an increase in the general level of quality of life not only for individuals, but also for their families, and has consequently improved the productivity of valuable workers in many areas of the economy. The monograph seeks to develop such an approach to the importance of gender-related individual differences that leads to the adoption of gender complementarity as a means of complementing in terms of selected characteristics and behaviour (emotional and stress management style). Feminine involvement in conflicts, interpersonal relations, life events, taking responsibility – as a result of emotional attachment and care style – has been pointed out. In turn, the male tactics of withdrawal, distancing, searching for distraction in the face of conflicts and susceptibility to the influence of life events pointed to the emotional style of distancing. These two elements of masculinity and femininity form a complementary system, thanks to which a family and a new life are created. The presented publication stems from the motives of life, passion and work concerning romantic relationships and the difficulties these relationships go through, as an attempt to find an answer to the question of a happy life for the two of them, a woman and a man

Kryzys dialogu i więzi w małżeństwie w perspektywie teorii przywiązania

W obliczu przemian struktury i funkcjonowania małżeństwa i rodziny w ostatnich trzydziestu latach, pojawiło się wiele analiz dotyczących zmian, kryzysu, bądź też – jak niektórzy ujmują tę sytuację – „rewolucji stylu życia”. W kulturze i życiu społecznym na plan pierwszy wysuwają się trendy związane z indywidualizmem, autonomią czy niezależnością, dla których idealną przestrzeń stanowią nowe środki komunikacji wirtualnej. Opisując psychologiczne uwarunkowania komunikacji małżeńskiej na tle wspomnianych zmian oraz procesów kształtowania przywiązania zostaną wskazane wątki różnic płci w emocjonalności, komunikowaniu i radzeniu sobie z trudnymi sytuacjami przez małżonków. W tym kontekście postawiono zasadniczą tezę artykułu, iż brak prawidłowej komunikacji w małżeństwie prowadzi do rozpadu więzi oraz związków. Rozpatrując to zagadnienie, zastanawiano się nad doświadczaniem konfliktów i kryzysów przez małżonków, komunikacją wirtualną pozbawiającą faktycznej obecności, negocjowaniem celów związanych z dystansem i bliskością. Ostatecznie podjęto się próby zarysowania konsekwencji, które wynikają z rozpadu więzi – osamotnienia, izolacji i wykluczenia

Emocje i płeć : studium dynamiki zaangażowania i dystansowania w związkach romantycznych

The monograph is the result of the search for causes and conditions of well-being in close relation-ships. Some of the intimate relationships are more satisfying than others; they are certainly all heterogeneous, variable, dynamic and interesting. This publication is a voice in a rich discussion of gender, identity, emotionality, social roles and relationship formation. It emphasizes human emotionality as a factor differentiating and bonding close relationships, including intimate ones. The structure of the monograph reflects the issues which are raised in it: gender – feminin- ity – masculinity – romantic relationships. Numerous attempts to define the sexes and to deter-mine the differences between the sexes against the background of theoretical and ideological dis-putes have been explained. Additionally, the theme of what connects a woman and a man and how they create intimate ties has been taken up. The division of the chapters into Women and Men is, on the one hand, a simple separation of the two genders, and, on the other, an attempt to compare the differences in order to show their meaningfulness, although attempts have been made to avoid stigmatizing simplifications. The second important task of the monograph is to present our own research against the back-ground of thematically selected international research. The main aim of the research is to show the emotional nature of women and men and its dimensions: disposition (traits) and emotional state in the context of everyday life stress. The issue of stress is related to the difficulties of everyday life, such as: high school exam, examination session and the stress of adult life – overlapping of social roles and obligations. The research assumed that a different type of emotionality associated with sexual conditions will correlate with different styles of reaction to stress and different ways of dealing with stress. The first chapter presents the theoretical foundations of gender and individual differences. Reflections on the gender phenomenon began with treating it as an indicator of identity. It points out different ways in which an individual influences the surrounding environment – as a  wo- man or a man; an individual creates reality in a specific and unique way. Describing gender, we are moving both in the contexts of nature as well as culture, which are familiar with biological threads, but also social references. A person becomes fully oneself through the presence of other important people that shape him or her. He/she creates relationships with others that are mean-ingful to him/her throughout his/her life and often give this life meaning. Hence, the definition of sexuality has been preceded by a description of what identity and constructs of the Self are, as well as by the indication of gender stereotypes in contemporary societies. In this context, individual differences have been treated after Jan Strelau as a common phenomenon characterizing people, leading to the belief that there are no personal traits that would not differentiate individuals in the population. This genetically determined uniqueness, which helps to understand specific forms of human adaptation to the surrounding environment, has been explained mainly on the basis of the functioning of the emotional system in both genders. Chapters Two and Three, on women and men, are somewhat parallel. Each of them, starting with an explanation of identity-related phenomena, refers to biological, psychological and social perspectives. They highlight the unique dimension of the female interdependent self and the male independent self, as components of the same human nature. In turn, looking at emotional phe-nomena has served to highlight both similarities in some areas and differences in other areas between women and men. The importance of those emotional phenomena that specifically distin-guish between feminine and masculine behaviour has been emphasised, namely: empathy, emo-tional intelligence and involvement in helping others. The importance of experiencing and coping with stress by women and men proved to be important in this context. Both chapters conclude with the presentation of a vision of women and men in the 21st century, in which clear gender-related characteristics are beginning to change – both women and men are taking on the features of a new identity, marked by the cultural phenomena of our times. The phenomena of social roles, achieving professional success, maintaining a balance between family and professional life and sustainable development have been assumed to be crucial. The fourth chapter presents the results of own research on emotionality and the ways of deal-ing with stress in women and men. It presents the research problem which assumes that there is a link between emotionality, including emotional dispositions and states, and the strategies used to deal with everyday stress in both genders. From the adopted theories of personality and theory of emotion, an assumption has emerged that there is a permanent personality predisposition to respond in a specific way to difficult, problematic or threatening situations. Along with the re-search issues, a description of the method, research tools, selection of persons, the research model and the research variables have appeared. Presenting the results of the research, the emotional nature of women and men, typical ways of coping with stress and the effect of interaction of these two factors in each gender have been characterized. On the basis of the research conclusions, the female and male type of emotionality and the female and male style of reaction in stressful situa-tions have been proposed and compared. The importance of emotionality in romantic relationships in the 21st century is described in Chapter Five. Starting from the premises related to the contemporary culture of individualism, egalitarianism and individual freedom, one wondered what closeness is. The ideas of freedom and independence have led to two extreme attitudes: the fear of closeness and the fear of rejection and, consequently, the fixation on autonomy to conceal a deep sense of loneliness. Healthy closeness, also known as interdependence, is more than just the sum of the dispositions of the partners. This area of closeness is defined in the monograph as emotionality treated as a particular kind of intrapersonal resource, in the sense of the dominant emotional style: positive (positive resource) or negative (negative resource). In the positive emotional style, empathy plays a unique role, as both cognitive and behavioural component, which leads to greater involvement and satisfaction with the romantic relationship. The complementarity between woman and man is based on this kind of empathy and engagement in the relationship. In view of the widespread feeling of loneli-ness, Martin Buber proposed as an antidote an empathic and caring attitude of responsibility for himself and for others. Ultimately, this chapter emphasises the importance of a balance between family and professional life, which is achieved through changes in the work system that have made it possible to combine tasks from different spheres of life more flexibly. This has led to an increase in the general level of quality of life not only for individuals, but also for their families, and has consequently improved the productivity of valuable workers in many areas of the economy. The monograph seeks to develop such an approach to the importance of gender-related in-dividual differences that leads to the adoption of gender complementarity as a means of comple-menting in terms of selected characteristics and behaviour (emotional and stress management style). Feminine involvement in conflicts, interpersonal relations, life events, taking responsibil- ity – as a result of emotional attachment and care style – has been pointed out. In turn, the male tactics of withdrawal, distancing, searching for distraction in the face of conflicts and susceptibil-ity to the influence of life events pointed to the emotional style of distancing. These two elements of masculinity and femininity form a complementary system, thanks to which a family and a new life are created. The presented publication stems from the motives of life, passion and work con-cerning romantic relationships and the difficulties these relationships go through, as an attempt to find an answer to the question of a happy life for the two of them, a woman and a man

Poczucie przywiązania i osamotnienia w relacjach małżeńskich

The aim of the article is to describe the phenomenon of loneliness appearing in married couples of different length of marriage. The author refer not to this kind of loneliness that is an existential experience, but to a subjective and emotional phenomenon arising in the context of social relations that are inadequate to the needs and expectations of the lonely people. The following variables were taken into account when studying the phenomenon of loneliness: attachment style, the level of marital happiness and quality of relationships in the respondents’ family of origin. The following questionnaires were used: The Attachment Styles Questionnaire (ASQ) by M. Plopa, The Marital Happiness Questionnaire (MHQ) by K. Pospiszyl, The Scale for Measuring Subjective Loneliness (DJGLS) by J. De Jong Gierveld and F. Kamphuis and the author’s own survey examining the relationships in the family of origin. 250 couples of different length of marriage were examined. As a result of the research studies positive relationships were found between loneliness and insecure attachment styles in all subjects and between loneliness and age and length of marriage of surveyed men. It was also the presence of negative relationships between loneliness and marital happiness, secure attachment style and high quality of relationships in the respondents’ family of origin. The quality of relationships in the family of origin consisted of: rewarding relationship with a respondent’s mother and father, a sense of being loved, high assessment of the relationship of parents in childhood, high assessment of respondents’ childhood, parents interest in children learning, parents help in childhood, parents punishment in childhood (understood as a symptom of proper upbringing)

Balansowanie pomiędzy pracą a życiem osobistym. Analiza uwarunkowań psychologicznych w kontekście rodzinnym

The idea of reconciling work with personal life was in its heyday at the turn of the 20th century when people realised that it was impossible to completely separate these inextricably linked spheres of human existence. Neglecting either of them, and not only in the scientific discourse but also in everyday life, is in many aspects detrimental to close relationships and to the performance at work. Nevertheless, a perfect combination of these two dimensions of human activity seems almost unattainable, as a growing number of contemporary studies show. Becoming involved in one entails some negligence in the other. The family context represents a relevant example of the attempts to reach the work-life balance. It is increasingly frequent that the contemporary young adults’ generation prioritise work, individual career, and personal development in their hierarchy of values. They delay their decisions on starting a family, having children, or simply settling down until they have achieved an adequate status and prosperity. Seeking to satisfy the need for close bonds, many young adults engage in only temporary relationships (cohabitation, swingers), but also create substitutes thereof. This generation succumbs to a growing sense of loneliness, despite the fulfilling careers or satisfying material and social statuses