Responses to dissatisfaction in friendships and romantic relationships: An interpersonal script analysis

According to interpersonal script models, people’s responses to relational events are shaped by the reaction they expect from a close other. We analyzed responses to dissatisfaction in close relationships from an interpersonal script perspective. Participants reported on how a close friend or romantic partner would react to their expressions of dissatisfaction (using the exit-voice-loyalty-neglect typology). They were also asked to forecast whether the issue would be resolved (i.e., anticipated outcomes). Our main hypothesis was that people’s expectations for how a close other would respond to dissatisfaction would be dependent on their own self response. Further, we predicted that passive responses would be more common and viewed as less deleterious to a friendship than a romantic relationship. Results indicated that the responses that were expected from close others were contingent on how self responded. Moreover, as predicted, these contingencies followed different tracks depending on the type of relationship. Friends were more likely to expect passive responses to self’s expression of dissatisfaction, especially if self responded with neglect, whereas romantic partners expected more active responses. Furthermore, people anticipated that the issue would be more likely to be resolved if their friend (vs. romantic partner) responded passively and less actively (especially for destructive responses). It was concluded that people hold complex, nuanced interpersonal scripts for dissatisfaction and that these scripts vary, depending on the relationship context

Development of a prototype-based measure of relational boredom

The goal of this research was to create a self-report measure of relational boredom using a prototype approach. In the first study, 2 samples (participants in dating relationships and in marital relationships) generated features of the concept of relational boredom. In Study 2, these features were rated for prototypicality by 2 samples (dating and married). A Relational Boredom Scale was constructed by selecting those features (items) that were rated as most central to the construct. In Study 3, the reliability and validity of the scale were assessed, again with participants in dating and marital relationships. There was evidence that the Relational Boredom Scale is a psychometrically sound measurement instrument

Giving in the bedroom: The costs and benefits of responding to a partner’s sexual needs in daily life

A common reason why people in ongoing romantic relationships report engaging in sex with their partner—in addition to pursuing their own pleasure—is to meet their partner’s sexual needs. While meeting a partner’s needs with responsiveness and care is crucial in romantic relationships, it is important, especially in the domain of sexuality, that people do not neglect their own needs when meeting the needs of their partner. In a 21-day daily experience study of both members of 122 romantic couples recruited from the community, we tested whether being responsive to a partner’s sexual needs (i.e., high sexual communal strength) and focusing on a partner’s needs while neglecting one’s own needs (i.e., high unmitigated sexual communion) were associated with both partners’ daily sexual and relationship satisfaction. We also tested attention to positive partner-focused and negative self-focused cues during the sexual experience as novel mechanisms of these effects. The results generally showed that on days when people (or their romantic partner) reported higher sexual communal strength, they reported greater attention to positive partner-focused sexual cues and, in turn, both partners experienced greater daily sexual and relationship satisfaction. In contrast, on days when people reported higher unmitigated sexual communion, they reported greater attention to negative self-focused sexual cues and, in turn, experienced lower relationship and sexual satisfaction, although these effects did not extend to their romantic partner. Implications of the results for promoting higher quality sexual experiences and relationships are discussed

Spicing up the relationship? The effects of relational boredom on shared activities

The goal of this study was to examine how people respond to relational boredom in the context of growth-enhancing (i.e., novel) and security-restorative (i.e., familiar) shared activities. In Study 1, people’s prescriptive and descriptive beliefs for responding to relational boredom were assessed. Next, we developed a prime of relational boredom (Study 2a) and examined its effects on behavioral intentions for shared activities (Studies 2b and 3) as well as qualities of a planned date (Study 3). In Study 1, people thought they should engage in more growth-enhancing novel activities when bored (but not more security-restorative ones). However, for likely ratings (Study 1) and behavioral intentions (Studies 2b and 3), there were inconsistent findings for the idea that boredom prompts novel shared activities. Instead, in the context of relational boredom, people consistently displayed a pattern of being less likely to engage in security-restorative familiar shared activities

Growing desire or growing apart? Consequences of personal self-expansion for romantic passion.

Romantic passion represents one of the most fragile and elusive elements of relationship quality but one that is increasingly valued and tied to relationship and individual well-being. We provide the first examination of whether experiencing personal self-expansion—positive self-change and personal growth without a romantic partner—is a critical predictor of passion. Previous research has almost exclusively examined the consequences of couples’ sharing novel experiences (i.e., relational self-expansion) on romantic relationships. Instead, the consequences of personal self-expansion for romantic relationships remain largely unexamined even though most positive self-growth may occur without a romantic partner (e.g., at work). We investigated the consequences of personal self-expansion for passion in three studies including two 21-day experience sampling studies of community couples and a study in a context likely to elicit heightened personal self-expansion: during job relocation. Within-person increases in daily personal self-expansion were associated with greater passion through greater positive emotions (Studies 1 and 2). In contrast, high between-person levels of personal self-expansion were associated with lower passion through lower levels of intimacy, suggesting that individuals may drift apart from their partners with more chronic personal self-expansion (Studies 1, 2, and 3). That is, consistently growing outside of the relationship in ways that are not shared with a romantic partner may reduce feelings of closeness and connection, and ultimately passion. Results also suggest that chronic personal self-expansion may be a double-edged sword for individual well-being, simultaneously associated with lower passion, but greater fulfillment of competence needs. Results controlled for relational self-expansion and time together

Women and Men are the Barometers of Relationships: Testing the Predictive Power of Women’s and Men’s Relationship Satisfaction

There is a longstanding belief in relationship science and popular opinion that women are the barometers in mixed-gender relationships such that their perceptions about the partnership carry more weight than men's in predicting future relationship satisfaction, but this idea has yet to be rigorously tested. We analyze data from two studies to test within-person links between men's and women's relationship satisfaction on their own and their partner's next-day and next-year satisfaction. Study 1 combined nine daily diary datasets from Canada and the United States with 901 mixed-gender couples who provided 29,541 daily reports of relationship satisfaction. Study 2 analyzed five annual waves of data from the German Family Panel (pairfam) that surveyed 3,405 mixed-gender couples who provided 21,115 relationship satisfaction reports. Latent curve models with structured residuals (LCM-SR) revealed that in both studies, men's and women's relationship satisfaction significantly predicted their own and their partner's relationship satisfaction, with no gender differences in the magnitude of these effects. Results underscore the interdependence of romantic partners' satisfaction and indicate that both men and women jointly shape romantic relationship satisfaction