The Michelangelo phenomenon

This paper reviews theory and research regarding the “Michelangelo phenomenon.” The Michelangelo model suggests that close partners sculpt one another's selves, shaping one another's skills and traits and promoting versus inhibiting one another's goal pursuits. As a result of the manner in which partners perceive and behave toward one another, each person enjoys greater or lesser success at attaining his or her ideal-self goals. Affirmation of one another's ideal-self goals yields diverse benefits, both personal and relational. The Michelangelo model and supportive empirical evidence are reviewed, the phenomenon is distinguished from related interpersonal processes, and directions for future work are outlined

Mind the gap: Perceived partner responsiveness as a bridge between general and partner-specific attachment security.

A core idea of attachment theory is that security develops when attachment figures are responsive to a person’s connection needs. Individuals may be more or less secure in different relationships. We hypothesized that individuals who perceive a current relationship partner as being responsive to their needs will feel more secure in that specific relationship, and that the benefits of perceived partner responsiveness would be more pronounced for individuals who generally feel insecure. The current study included 472 individuals (236 couples) in romantic relationships. Consistent with our predictions, individuals who perceived more responsiveness from their partner displayed lower partner-specific attachment anxiety and partner-specific avoidance, especially when they were generally insecure. These findings are discussed in terms of the conditions that promote secure attachment bonds

Navigating personal and relational concerns: the quest for equilibrium

The authors' personal-relational equilibrium model suggests that people come to seek equilibrium in their dedication to personal and relational concerns in that these 2 important needs cannot always be gratified simultaneously. The authors proposed that the experience of personal-relational disequilibrium motivates attempts to restore equilibrium and that achieving equilibrium promotes life satisfaction. Four studies revealed good support for the model. In Study 1, a manipulation of anticipated future disequilibrium (vs. equilibrium) as a result of overdedication to either the personal or relational domain caused reduced motivation to address concerns in that domain and increased motivation toward the complementary domain. In Study 2, narratives describing disequilibrium experiences (vs. equilibrium experiences) exhibited increased motivation to restore equilibrium and reduced life satisfaction. In Study 3, diary reports of everyday disequilibrium were associated with increased same-day motivation to restore equilibrium, reduced same-day life satisfaction, and increased next-day dedication of effort to the complementary domain. In Study 4, experiences of disequilibrium predicted reduced well-being 6 months later. Collectively, these findings extend knowledge of how people regulate themselves toward equilibrium in pursuing 2 fundamental human concerns

Not just the best years of my life: personal growth in higher education

Our conception of product affirmation depicts a product as “sculptor” of the consumer’s ideal self, similar to how a relationship partner can help us achieve our aspirations and goals. We performed two studies to look at the role of higher education as a product in affirming a consumer’s ideal self. We found that product affirmation for undergraduate students and alumni (with the university as the product that affirms the ideal self of the student/alumnus) leads to increases in the experience of various positive emotions, the acquisition of various positive traits, and positive evaluations of the university. Additionally, we found that product affirmation effects were more pronounced and robust in one’s personal ideal-self domain than in one’s professional ideal-self domain. Practical implications, study limitations, and future directions are discussed, as well as preliminary findings from a follow-up experiment using a sample of graduate students

Regulatory focus in relationships and conflict resolution strategies

Motives for security (prevention focus) and advancement (promotion focus) influence goal pursuit, but less is known about how such motives operate in the relationship domain. Regulatory focus in relationships (RFR) is a dispositional trait specific to relationship motives, whereby relationship promotion facilitates effective conflict resolution strategies, and relationship prevention leads to conflict avoidance. This research sought to examine if RFR operates in conjunction with commitment, a relationship motive, to facilitate outcomes during relationship conflict. A correlational survey of 701 romantically involved heterosexuals in Portugal and Croatia revealed an interaction between RFR and commitment on conflict resolution strategies. Results showed that relationship promotion (vs. prevention) was associated with more constructive resolution strategies (e.g., constructive accommodation, greater mutual negotiation and less mutual blame), but this effect was greater for highly (vs. less) committed individuals. High commitment also facilitated individuals predominantly focused on relationship prevention to engage in more mutual expression of feelings and negotiation. No interaction emerged for destructive accommodation. These patterns were similar across the two countries. Findings suggest the need to consider the interplay of RFR and commitment on different relationship outcomes

Self-determined self-other overlap: Interacting effects on partners’ perceptions of support and well-being in close relationships

Self-other overlap, an important dimension of interpersonal closeness, is linked to positive interpersonal and well-being outcomes in relationships with romantic partners and friends. Three studies applied principles from self-determination theory to examine whether individual differences in self-determined motivation moderate the effects of higher self-other overlap on partner outcomes. Studies were crosssectional and longitudinal, and examined personality and relationship specific self-determination in friends (Study 1) and romantic partners (all studies); all were comprised of dyads to examine partner effects. Results suggested that as self-determined individuals reported greater self-other overlap, their partners also reported receiving more positive motivational support as well as enhanced commitment. On the other hand, when individuals were low in self-determination, partners did not benefit from greater self-other overlap

"The part of me that you bring out": Ideal similarity and the Michelangelo phenomenon

This work examines the Michelangelo phenomenon, an interpersonal model of the means by which people move closer to (vs. further from) their ideal selves. The authors propose that partner similarity--similarity to the ideal self, in particular--plays an important role in this process. Across 4 studies employing diverse designs and measurement techniques, they observed consistent evidence that when partners possess key elements of one another's ideal selves, each person affirms the other by eliciting important aspects of the other's ideals, each person moves closer to his or her ideal self, and couple well-being is enhanced. Partner similarity to the actual self also accounts for unique variance in key elements of this model. The associations of ideal similarity and actual similarity with couple well-being are fully attributable to the Michelangelo process, to partner affirmation and target movement toward the ideal self. The authors also performed auxiliary analyses to rule out several alternative interpretations of these findings

The impact of non-harmonious goals on partner support and taking on opportunities

Romantic partners often support each other to progress toward goals. However, at times partners’ goals are not in harmony and conflict with partner or relationship needs, leading to negative consequences for couple members. The present study examined whether non-harmonious opportunities were associated with support provider’s and recipient’s behavior, perceived partner support, and goal outcomes. We further examined whether these effects were moderated by attachment styles. Findings from two experimental (n1= 296, n2= 117) and one dyadic daily diary (n3= 267) showed how having non-harmonious goals lead to problematic goal pursuit. Partners are less likely to behave positively toward the support provider, provide partner support, view their partners as supportive, and report less commitment to partners, and make less goal progress when goal non-harmony is present. Importantly, we did not find moderation effects of attachment styles for these processes. The findings highlight the importance of managing goal non-harmony in couples

The doormat effect: When forgiving erodes self-respect and self-concept clarity.

We build on principles from interdependence theory and evolutionary psychology to propose that forgiving bolsters one's self-respect and self-concept clarity if the perpetrator has acted in a manner that signals that the victim will be safe and valued in a continued relationship with the perpetrator but that forgiving diminishes one's self-respect and self-concept clarity if the perpetrator has not. Study 1 employed a longitudinal design to demonstrate that the association of marital forgiveness with trajectories of self-respect over the first 5 years of marriage depends on the spouse's dispositional tendency to indicate that the partner will be safe and valued (i.e., agreeableness). Studies 2 and 3 employed experimental procedures to demonstrate that the effects of forgiveness on self-respect and self-concept clarity depend on the perpetrator's event-specific indication that the victim will be safe and valued (i.e., amends). Study 4 employed a longitudinal design to demonstrate that the association of forgiveness with subsequent self-respect and self-concept clarity similarly depends on the extent to which the perpetrator has made amends. These studies reveal that, under some circumstances, forgiveness negatively impacts the self