Perception, Poetry, and Purpose: An Autoethnography of a Chronically Ill and Neurodivergent Public Servant

This study offers an autoethnographic exploration of what I've experienced while navigating the public service in Canada as a chronically ill, neurodivergent person who worked at the intersection of accessibility, disability rights and service design. The layered complexities over my 15-year public service career allow me to draw on personal narratives, thematic analysis and systemic design to interrogate the emotional, structural and historical barriers faced by persons with disabilities. I explore key experiences - including systemic discrimination, advocacy and burnout, and moments of resilience, as this research seeks to uncover how policy and practice shape identity and agency. I am seeking to answer the question about how my lived experiences as a chronically ill, neurodivergent public servant has illuminated the systemic failures of trauma-informed care within public service institutions. I unpack my lived experiences and what they reveal about the interplay between trauma, chronic illness, and the capacity for systemic change in the public service. I’m seeking to unlock my experiences in accessibility as a neurodivergent individual with a 15+ year career within the Canadian Federal Government. I incorporate elements of poetry, prose, metaphor and visuals to provide an evocative lens to examine these dynamics, positioning this study as a call to action for a more equitable public service. I lean into formative life events that shaped my worldview and the dissonance between policies, practices and lived realities. This study offers a critique on the tokenism and optics-driven culture in modern public service, highlighting the emotional labour often carried by people with disabilities. The performative aspects can allow us to uncover opportunities for genuine change. In modern public service, superficial actions and activism are designed to project an image of support without any tangible or meaningful change. This often leads to the perpetuation of systemic equities. These types of tokenistic behaviours aim to use feel good illusions of progress which mask the pervasive challenges faced by people with disabilities. Throughout my career I have observed many performative practices, often identifying these and challenging their superficial nature geared towards compliance. Even those projects that started with the goal of developing authentic, equity or inclusion driven reforms to address real needs would find themselves being shrivelled down, de-scoped, de-prioritized, and shaped into fuzzy narratives of change and progress. Moving beyond these performative gestures might seem impossible. It requires a commitment to substantive policy changes, deeper accountability, and more voices invited in that are valued, listened to and actioned upon through reciprocal involvement of disabled lives in the decision-making process. By confronting and dismantling performative activism, we may pave the way for a more equitable public service that truly embodies the principles of inclusivity and accessibility

Community Investment Cooperatives: Building resilience within communities

The United Nations declared 2025 the international year of the co-op. In an economy strife with wealth accumulation, and asset ownership concentrated within the top income bracket, cooperatives present a democratically governed and collectively owned alternative to the norm. Community Investment Cooperatives (CICs) are an example of such a mechanism, where people from a certain area can invest in local businesses, in exchange for a small financial and/or social and environmental return. Although this model is nascent in the wider, national community economic development landscape, it holds a lot of potential for significant change through collective action and ownership, especially in Ontario, where capital flight has been a persistent issue. This paper investigates potential barriers and enablers in the uptake of CICs among individuals in Ontario. To explore this more deeply, it looks closely at existing community-based, financial capital-building organizations both, at the national and the provincial level and what conditions have enabled their growth. Additionally, it explores barriers and enablers for existing CIC owners and potential leverage points across the province. Grassroots organizations like CICs do not have the adequate resources required to achieve scale because of deeply entrenched structural, cultural and legal barriers. They are subject to more scrutiny from all institutions and individuals because of the risks associated with allocating people’s money for stable returns. Despite these challenges, several possibilities exist for CICs in the form of community connections and partnerships within the system. Isolated efforts by individual actors in the system would be inadequate to truly empower and strengthen CICs or any community-based effort for that matter. The responsibility to create enabling conditions for these organizations lies with actors across a wide spectrum, ranging from individuals to policymakers, but those with more power need to be more proactive and supportive of these initiatives for them to scale up effectively

Participatory toward Anticipatory (PtA)

This study aims to instigate a paradigm shift in how we think about technological futures. At present, technologies are often treated as sources of potential harm to be managed by governments and subject experts. But this study takes a different view. Technological choices are social choices, and part of broader sociopolitical and sociocultural phenomena. As such, decisions about technology should be made by society as a whole before these technologies become widely adopted. To explore this, the study uses “Technology Assessment” (TA) as a foundational concept through which collective action on technological choices can take place. Focusing on the Canadian context, the research traces the landscape of TA from past to present. It identifies the Science Council of Canada (SCC) as the key institution in the past and highlights Health Technology Assessment (HTA) and Foresight as today’s main TA-like activities. Through this exploration, the study examines both the challenges and opportunities for establishing a participatory TA mechanism in Canada. Key challenges include the fragmentation of TA functions under the Governor in Council, the historic push to empower the private sector, Canada’s reliance on the U.S., and the dominance of evidence-based policymaking. At the same time, the study also finds promising ground from which participatory TA can begin to take root. These include Canada’s demonstrated readiness from both past and present, its strengthening ties with Europe and its policy models, and a broader shift from evidence-based to mission-driven policymaking. Recognizing these opportunities and the timeliness of the moment, the study proposes a policy deliberation process called Participatory toward Anticipatory (PtA), designed to support public involvement in technological development and policymaking. Finally, the paper concludes with insights from prototype testing of the PtA process, demonstrating how it can enable meaningful public participation in shaping technological futures

Manufacturing a Woman to Order: Exploring Nonhuman Agency and Gendered AI in East Asia through Machinima and Virtual Production

This thesis examines the construction and representation of non-human characters in a highly gendered, AI-driven future in East Asia. It culminates in the CGI-animated short film Manufacturing a Woman to Order, which follows a female AI agent and explores the intersection of technological progress and gender politics. By focusing on the creative process of game engine cinema, the research merges speculative narrative and interdisciplinary worldbuilding with virtual production filmmaking, integrating non-human agents into social discourse. Through this integration, the thesis underscores the persistence of gender stereotypes in AI design and calls for a critical reassessment of the sociocultural impacts of technological advancements on East Asia’s future

Futures of East Asian Queer Identity in Virtual Reality

By leveraging auto-ethnographic methods, this project positions the researcher’s personal experience as an East Asian queer person to highlight the struggles faced by East Asian queer immigrants in Toronto, especially in the context of masculinity and gender expression. The project employs foresight methods to outline emerging trends of embodied experience in the metaverse. The project includes a virtual reality (VR) experience that highlights my personal and cultural issues surrounding body image, racial stereotypes, and avatar embodiment. This project also collects feedback from audiences of the VR experience to provide recommendations on how to achieve a more inclusive future in the coming era of the metaverse

LUMIEA: Enhancing User Engagement in Storytelling: Empowering Personal Narratives through AI-Generated Environments and Tactile Interaction in Mixed Reality

Traditional storytelling is often constrained by linear structures, limiting engagement and interactivity. This research explores how AI-generated MR environments can enhance storytelling through speech-driven interactions, real-time adaptive narratives, and Tactile feedback. Users speak to real-world objects, transforming them into AI-generated characters and 3D elements that shape the story. A GPT-4-powered LLM ensures narrative consistency, while haptic feedback enhances immersion. Using Research Through Design (RTD) , this study develops prototypes to investigate how AI generated storytelling elements integrate with physical space and influence user engagement. The findings contribute to MR storytelling, AI-native games, and interactive media, reimagining storytelling at the intersection of human creativity and AI-generated worlds. Keywords: Mixed Reality (MR), Artificial Intelligence (AI), Interactive Storytelling, Spatial Interaction, User Driven Narratives,Haptics, Speech-Driven Narratives, Generative AI, AI-Native Game

Sparks of Change: Does Play Have a Role in Rebuilding Connections, Communities, and Modern Masculinity? Exploring the Intersection of the Masculinity Crisis and the Importance of Playing in Public by: Maham Mansoor Abubakar & Bonita (Bonnie) Leung

This project explores the depth and urgency of the masculinity crisis and its far-reaching impacts on society. As rigid and harmful norms around masculinity continue to perpetuate emotional suppression, social isolation and gender-based violence, the consequences are becoming increasingly visible in the mental health struggles faced by boys and men. These mental health struggles are fracturing communities and at times leading to mass violence. Left unaddressed, this crisis threatens to deepen cycles of disconnection leaving especially adolescent boys, vulnerable. Grounded in literature reviews and expert interviews, this research investigates the deep-seated societal myths surrounding masculinity and how these narratives affect boys, men and our communities. Through play exploration, surveys and a play participatory workshop with boys and their caregivers, the study highlights a critical need for community-rooted, child/youth-led interventions that challenge harmful gender norms. We explore public play - particularly within urban neighborhoods - as a powerful tool for promoting connection, conversations, and alternate expressions of masculinity. Central to this approach is the father-son bond, whose influence can help reshape norms from within the family unit. Our research culminates in the development of Play Sparks in a Cart!, a neighborhood-based play kit designed to encourage meaningful play, spark conversations and build cohesion within neighborhoods. This initiative offers a playful, practical path toward mitigating the masculinity crisis and its impacts and supports caregivers in fostering healthier, more inclusive communities - one playful spark at a time

Plans to Practice- The Gap Between SME Sustainability Aspirations and Implementation

This research investigates the gap between sustainability ambitions and practical implementation among Canadian Small and Medium-sized Enterprises (SMEs). Through literature review, interviews, and data analysis, the study identifies three critical implementation thresholds for SME’s: stuck in ambiguity, buried in complexity, and struggling to start. The findings reveal that purpose serves as a foundational element rather than one of four equal pillars in the quadruple bottom line framework. SMEs demonstrate strong purpose-driven values aligned with sustainability principles, but face systemic barriers including emotional factors, resource constraints, and fragmented support systems. The paper reconceptualizes sustainability as an ongoing process of building organizational capacity while resilience represents the mobilization of that capacity during disruptions. This leads to a recommendation of ten practical interventions addressing barriers within and outside of SMEs control. This research provides actionable pathways for SMEs to strengthen their sustainability implementation and enhance overall resilience

Co-designing Towards Community Health Outcomes: The role of social innovation labs and organizations during the COVID-19 pandemic

In this Major Research Project (MRP), I highlight community-driven innovations in response to COVID-19, focusing on case studies from social innovation labs and organizations (referred to as “Labs”) in Ontario, Canada. These Labs, which address the social determinants of health both within and outside the formal healthcare system, played a key role in supporting, supplementing, and scaling grassroots emergency response efforts aimed at reducing health inequities during the pandemic. Drawing on interviews with 10 social innovation practitioners and designers, this MRP argues that the role and value of Labs has evolved since 2020. Looking ahead, Labs can play a pivotal role in addressing ongoing gaps and crises in Canada’s health system through building ‘relational infrastructure.’ Specifically, Labs can (1) act as connective tissue in a siloed system, (2) engage community partners in dialogue and collaborative processes to build bridges between health system actors, and (3) centre community voices in developing strategies and solutions through equitable co-design

Bridging the Digital Divide:Enhancing Medication Adherence

This study examines how the digital divide affects medication adherence among older adults and explores how inclusive design can inform the development of more accessible digital health tools. Although smart pillboxes and health apps are increasingly available, many older users remain excluded due to barriers related to physical accessibility, digital literacy, and trust in technology. A multi-phase qualitative approach was adopted, involving semi-structured interviews with older adults and healthcare professionals. Thematic analysis identified six recurring challenges: forgetfulness, caregiver reliance, low digital confidence, physical limitations, interface complexity, and digital distrust. These findings informed the design of a two-part system: the En-Take mobile application and a physical smart pillbox. The app emphasizes visual clarity, simplified interaction, and core features such as QR code-based prescription import, personalized scheduling, allergy alerts, and caregiver data sharing. The pillbox supports ergonomic access, offering a rounded grip-friendly form and a circular LCD display for real-time reminders and system status. While the small sample size and lack of caregiver representation limit generalizability, the study provides a foundational model for inclusive health technology. Future work includes user testing, caregiver interface development, and iterative hardware refinement. The findings highlight the potential of qualitative insight to inform the design of more empathetic and accessible solutions for aging populations. Key Words: Older Adults, Digital Divide, medication non-adherence, App Design, Pillbox Design, Inclusive Desig