My work investigates the role and dynamic of society, culture, and familial influence on the masculinity and femininity within our individuality. It specifically deals with my on going discovery of the masculine side of my personality, and how the feminine roll is influenced, or not influenced, by this. I have been applying Jungian psychology and the theory of individuation, archetypes, and so forth, to my process. I have made several bodies of work in a quest to understand the fundamental roles that femininity and masculinity have affected my choices and individual understanding. Documenting old and new relationships, I make puppets, create installations, write dialogues, journal, and also collaborate, investigating through dating, family, and friendships

wilde, laura

English

Scholarship@Claremont

Claremont CollegesScholarship @ ClaremontCGU MFA Theses CGU Student Scholarship2-14-2017Gas Lampslaura wildeClaremont Graduate UniversityThis Thesis is brought to you for free and open access by the CGU Student Scholarship at Scholarship @ Claremont. It has been accepted for inclusionin CGU MFA Theses by an authorized administrator of Scholarship @ Claremont. For more information, please contactscholarship@cuc.claremont.edu.Recommended Citationwilde, laura, "Gas Lamps" (2017). CGU MFA Theses. 148.http://scholarship.claremont.edu/cgu_mfatheses/148Dear Diary,  I have discovered less than I thought I was going to. I now have more questions than answers. I know my female self. It is very obvious to me who I am. But the masculine side, it really eludes me. I am trying to bridge the gap, crawl under the fence, to the other side where there isn’t a divide.  The Runner seems to be the guy that I identify with the most. Recently, I have grown to understand he is not only running away from things, but he is also running to something. In the process he gets pretty beat up.  Poor Runner, he is just one of the characters in my story. In my brain, if I don’t understand something, it orbits through every channel in my mind on repeat, such redundancy. My past relationship lasted nearly thirty years; it’s pretty epic. I feel like I have been released from a time capsule. Dating, the mistakes that I have made. I used to think that I knew a lot, and I would answer a lot of my own questions. In order to defuse that bomb, removing my self from the role of the ultimate answer-er, I started writing dialogues about what I thought the men in my life might say to each other. I also research extensively about masculinity and femininity, dating, love, biology, what a healthy relationship might look like.  I also have secret letters, so many letters, written but never sent. I copy all of these things and put them in a book. I’m not certainly hiding them, but I don’t share them either. Well, except for sometimes. I really want to find some semblance of truth and the only way to do that is to share. Sometimes with real people, but then there are the characters. They are real and tangible. They make me cry. They also make me laugh. Reality seems very difficult; nothing as it seems. My world of unreality manifests itself through copies of copies. The characters are three dimensional forms that, through chicken wire, burlap, and all of the other stuff that I use, show me sides of themselves that, I otherwise, can not sort out. I am ultimately trying to discover who my masculine form is. I feel like it hides within me, and that I am only just learning of its existence.  …And "Gas Lighting”.  When a gas light is turned on, it effects the fate of all of the others. They remind me of aspects of self and relationships; two poles, female and male. There are many different factors and characteristics within those aspects. It is literally crazy making. We are effected by the people around us, obviously. Poor Dad, he always hid in that a cigarette suit. He was vulnerable and afraid. He was kind and mean. Smoke and mirrors.     CAST of CHARACTERS:  SELF: I am the only woman. (I can only communicate with the narrator, however, I am aware of all of the conversations and can comment regarding them. They are not aware of this.) THE NARRATOR : He knows all and can communicate with all.  THE ARCHETYPES: These characters symbolize universality.  MALE CHARACTERS: These include friends, family, relationships (and enemies?).  Maybe there is a woman who has sound advice too. Would the narrator speak for her too? I feel that it is almost time to make that personality. Not yet, though. I still don’t understand enough. 	  

Gas Lamps

Keck Graduate Institute

Claremont Colleges
Scholarship @ Claremont
CGU MFA Theses CGU Student Scholarship
2-14-2017
Gas Lamps
laura wilde
Claremont Graduate University
This Thesis is brought to you for free and open access by the CGU Student Scholarship at Scholarship @ Claremont. It has been accepted for inclusion
in CGU MFA Theses by an authorized administrator of Scholarship @ Claremont. For more information, please contact
scholarship@cuc.claremont.edu.
Recommended Citation
wilde, laura, "Gas Lamps" (2017). CGU MFA Theses. 148.
http://scholarship.claremont.edu/cgu_mfatheses/148
Dear Diary, 
 
I have discovered less than I thought I was going to. I now have more 
questions than answers. I know my female self. It is very obvious to me 
who I am. But the masculine side, it really eludes me. I am trying to bridge 
the gap, crawl under the fence, to the other side where there isn’t a divide.  
The Runner seems to be the guy that I identify with the most. Recently, I 
have grown to understand he is not only running away from things, but he 
is also running to something. In the process he gets pretty beat up.  
Poor Runner, he is just one of the characters in my story. In my 
brain, if I don’t understand something, it orbits through every channel in my 
mind on repeat, such redundancy. My past relationship lasted nearly thirty 
years; it’s pretty epic. I feel like I have been released from a time capsule. 
Dating, the mistakes that I have made. I used to think that I knew a lot, and 
I would answer a lot of my own questions. In order to defuse that bomb, 
removing my self from the role of the ultimate answer-er, I started writing 
dialogues about what I thought the men in my life might say to each other. I 
also research extensively about masculinity and femininity, dating, love, 
biology, what a healthy relationship might look like.  
I also have secret letters, so many letters, written but never sent. I 
copy all of these things and put them in a book. I’m not certainly hiding 
them, but I don’t share them either. Well, except for sometimes. I really 
want to find some semblance of truth and the only way to do that is to 
share. Sometimes with real people, but then there are the characters. They 
are real and tangible. They make me cry. They also make me laugh. 
Reality seems very difficult; nothing as it seems. My world of unreality 
manifests itself through copies of copies. The characters are three 
dimensional forms that, through chicken wire, burlap, and all of the other 
stuff that I use, show me sides of themselves that, I otherwise, can not sort 
out. I am ultimately trying to discover who my masculine form is. I feel like 
it hides within me, and that I am only just learning of its existence.  
…And "Gas Lighting”.  When a gas light is turned on, it effects the 
fate of all of the others. They remind me of aspects of self and 
relationships; two poles, female and male. There are many different factors 
and characteristics within those aspects. It is literally crazy making. We are 
effected by the people around us, obviously. Poor Dad, he always hid in 
that a cigarette suit. He was vulnerable and afraid. He was kind and mean. 
Smoke and mirrors.  
 
 
 
CAST of CHARACTERS: 
 
SELF: I am the only woman. (I can only communicate with the narrator, 
however, I am aware of all of the conversations and can comment 
regarding them. They are not aware of this.) 
THE NARRATOR : He knows all and can communicate with all.  
THE ARCHETYPES: These characters symbolize universality.  
MALE CHARACTERS: These include friends, family, relationships (and 
enemies?). 
 
Maybe there is a woman who has sound advice too. Would the narrator 
speak for her too? I feel that it is almost time to make that personality. Not 
yet, though. I still don’t understand enough. 	  


https://scholarship.claremont.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1167&amp;context=cgu_mfatheses

Gas Lamps

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Keck Graduate Institute