Akers, Edna E.

Haynes, Orena

English

KnowledgeBank at OSU

Bulletin 403 It's Up to You Do you ever wonder what others think of you? If so, you are well on the road to making a good impression when you step out. Most people judge you - at least, at first - by the way you look and act. Outward actions and appearance are no substitute for ability, hard work, and good character. They are an indica-tion of what you really are, though. It's up to you to develop into the kind of person you want to be. It's a lifetime job. Do You Know How? This bulletin may answer some of your questions about the right way to act and to dress. Doing the accepted thing should give you poise and self-confidence. It should help you feel better, look better, play better, and work better. Do you really know how to win and keep friends? Suppose you want to introduce two of your mutual friends to each other. Do you know how? How about a job? Have you thought how you'd behave when you go for an interview? How should you dress for the interview, or for a sports event or a picnic? Are you in doubt about what to wear when going out to dinner, or even for your friend's wedding? Are these the topics, or are there others, with which you need help? Plan to meet your needs. Read this bulletin for some of the answers. Your Extension agents and local leaders have ideas and suggestions on other materials that can be made available to you. Your local librarian can probably give you addi-tional help on etiquette and grooming references. Ignorance is no excuse for not being your best when you step out. How Do You Measure Up? The way you wear your manners and your clothes either makes a good impression or a poor one. Whether you act as a host in your own home, attend a 4-H club meeting, visit a friend, travel, seek a job, or take your "best girl" to the movies, there are DO'S and DON'TS that you need to know. Make a Hit with the Crowd Personal cleanliness Strive for that "well-scrubbed" manly appearance. Bathe every day. More often, if you are especially active. Use plenty of lather. Perspiration is produced by sweat glands located all over the body (two million of them). Pay special attention to those under your arms and between your toes. Use a deodorant to eliminate any possibility of offend-ing others. Choose one that is safe for use on any part of the body, harmless to fabrics, and does not check per-spiration completely. Change your underclothes, socks, and shirts everyday. Air, dean, and brush your outer clothes regularly. Teeth need to be brushed after each meal, if possible, and every morning and evening. Massage your gums gently each time you brush your teeth. Check with your dentist every six months. Avoid scraggly looking hair. Visit your barber as often as necessary before your hair starts to grow down the back of your neck and gets thick about your ears. If you need to shave, always keep your face free from fuzz or stubble. For a healthy body and alert mind, eat well-balanced meals, get proper exercise, and sleep eight to ten hours every night. The Ohio State University and U. S. Department of Agriculture cooperating. Agricultural Extension Service, W. B. Wood, director, Columbus 10, Ohio. Printed and distributed in furtherance of the acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914. 3/60/lOM Look Fit, Stand Tall, Sit Erect Be known the world over for your poise, your good manners, and your zest for life. Train your muscles, bones, and brain to work together. Form the habit of taking the correct position whether you walk: or sit, rest or play, and especially while you work. Follow the advice given at physical examinations you get in school. Talk: with your doctor, school nurse, or physical education specialist. Sitting position With both feet on the floor touch the back of a chair with your entire back. Can you do this? Yes ........ No ......... Exercise to achieve this if your answer is NO. Standing position Stand with your back to the wall and your feet four inches from the baseboard. Lean against the wall with head high, shoulders and back touching the wall Can you do it? Yes ........ No ......... Does the center of your back touch the wall? Yes ........ No ......... If the answer is no, practice and check yourself daily until you can. Walking position Do you hold your head erect and have a soldierly bearing? Move your feet with an even vigorous stride in a straight line. Ever try to carry a book on your head as you walk:? You can do it. Really. And this helps produce that erect bearing. Learn to relax It's hard to relax but it can be done. Have you ever noticed how ball players stand at the plate completely relaxed, but are able to turn on the power and drive out a base hit? Have you noticed how your father or mother takes "forty winks" after lunch and arises completely refreshed and ready for the work ahead? Learn to relax wherever you are. Remember always that - out of relaxation comes driving power. Suggestions for improvement Study others, especially those whose erect, athletic car-riage you admire. Good health and upright bearing go together. Your feel-ing of physical fitness can give you confidence in yourself. Clothes and the Man Clothes don't make the man, but they help a lot. Your appearance speaks for you before you have a chance to speak for yourself. Why does one man always look well-dressed while an-other looks merely "clothed?" This ability to dress well can be acquired, if you work at it. This takes a lot of work and planning. Do you know yourself? Do you know what looks pest on you? Wear only those clothes that look best on you. Be sure you are comfortable in what you wear. Choose appropriate clothes for your community and the occasion. Then you should be a well-dressed man. One joy of living is feeling at ease in your clothes. How much to spend There is very little .relationship between the amount of money spent and the degree to which a man is well-dressed. Here is what you'll want to consider. How often will you wear that article of clothing that seems a "must" right now? Is it necessary? Is it just a fad? If not too expensive, a fad can be fun. But will it be wom out before it's passe'? Who's going to pay for it? Your family clothing budget? Extra money or your own from work o.r gifts? Select clothes for the activity Clothes for active sports (baseball, football, basketball, horseback riding, or golf) are different from clothes for school, work in the hay field, business, or attending a dance. Play clothes should be able to take rugged wear and fre-quent washings. Dress-up clothes should be neat and attrac-tive, and show that you respect others around you. You will need more than one outfit, particularly if you go to different kinds of occasions. A jacket and slacks are fine for a ball game, but a suit would be mo.re appropriate for a wedding. You may even need formal clothes for some weddings, proms, and dances. Make the B-est Choice After you know the kind of clothes which are appropriate to wear on various occasions, you still need to make several decisions. What kind and color of shirt shall you wear? What pattern and color should your tie and socks be? Shall you wear brown or black shoes. Choose colors carefully The colors of your clothes should be becoming to you. You should also enjoy wearing the colors. The colors of the clothes you put on at the same time should go together. If one itell1 is of a bright color, go easy on the color for the other items. Not often would you want to combine bright blue with bright orange - unless you had on a basketball suit. If you have any doubt as to colors to wear together, you are usually safe if you combine variations of the same color - light blue with navy blue or tan with brown. Then add a bright tie or socks if you like them, and they are fashion-able. Socks should match either your suit, shoes, or the most important color in your tie. Match leathers Leathers should match, too. Wear a black belt with black shoes and a brown belt with brown shoes. Brown shoes look well with brown clothes and black ones with gray outfits. Either may be worn with blue suits. Match textures Watch your texture combinations, too. A smooth leather belt and shoes look best with dressy clothes. Rough textured leather looks well with sport clothes. Don't mix the texture of your leathers. Also match textures of fabrics. For example, a smooth fabric such as gabardine in a separate jacket rarely looks well with rough tweedy slacks. Patterns in fabrics also need to be considered. You may prefer patterned shirts, socks, ties, jackets, and slacks- even pick out these when you are buying separate items. But beware! It's difficult, if not impossible, to look well-dressed if you have on more than one prominent pattern at a time. Don't wear a plaid shirt with a plaid or striped jacket. If you have a few items in patterned fabrics, buy solid colored items to wear with them. Choose becoming styles as well as becoming colors. Bright colors and bold patterns tend to make you appear larger. Dull colors make you seem smaller. Shirts and ties Shirt collars with long points are becoming to a man with a broad face and a short neck. Young men with long faces look well in wide-spread collars. Short-pointed collars tend to widen a slim face. The slimmer the tie or jacket lapels, the wider your face looks in contrast. The shape of tie and jacket lapels changes with fashion. Even so, you can still find some variations each season. If your face is broad, avoid the very slim lines. A bow tie tends to make your face and neck look wider than a four-in-hand tie does. Hats Hats have a similar effect on the apparent shape of your face and body. If you have a full face and are stout, choose a hat with a full crown and a medium wide btim. If you are thin and short, get a tapered crown with a narrow brim. Select a low crown and a medium width brim if you are tall and thin. Jackets Single-breasted jackets give you a sleek, trim look. Three-button ones tend to make you look taller and slimmer than two-button ones. Patch pockets seem to add more width than plain slash pockets. Double-breasted jackets and wide lapels make you appear shorter and heavier than you are. Good Fit Counts Choosing becoming, appropriate clothes and selecting nice combinations is not the whole story. Your clothes must fit if you are to be well-dressed. Do you believe the expression, "Uncomfortable shoes show in your face?'' Have you ever had to keep stuffing in a too short shirt tail? Do you have to keep lifting slipping slacks? Then you know the importance of having well-fitted clothes. Not only do they look better but they feel better. You can have a good time because you can concen-trate on your friends and activities and not on your clothes. Trousers Suit trousers and separate slacks should: • Hang straight from your hips with no diagonal folds. • Be creased with the grain of the fabric. • Just touch the tops of your shoes or have a slight break over the instep. • Be smooth but easy at the waist and hips. • Not pull against the front of your legs as you walk. Jackets Suit coats and separate jackets of similar style should: • Hang straight from your shoulders, both front and back. • Set well on the shoulders with no unsightly wrinkles. • Have the collar close to the neck at the back and sides. • Allow for ~ to ~ inch of the shirt collar to show. • Hold close to the chest at the V-line formed by the lapels. • Be smooth but easy at the waist and hips when buttoned. • Have armholes not so deep that when you lift your arm the whole coat raises. • Be a becoming length for you. Tips for a good fit The coat length may vary with fashion changes. Here are some suggestions. Have it long enough to cover the seat of your trousers. Check to see that the tip of your thumb meets the bottom of the jacket when your arm is relaxed at your side. The length of the sleeve varies, too. You might feel "smarter" if it is short enough so ~ to Y2 inch of your shirt sleeve shows. Either the sleeve of your shirt or coat should come to the beginning of your wrist. By the way, creases should not be pressed in the sleeves. Do keep sharp creases in your slacks, though. You know, sharp as a razor! Keep your shoes in good repair, also as shiny as a new penny. Then you'll be ready to: Put Your Best Foot Forward Etiquette, as defined in the American College Dictionary, is "Conventional requirements as to social behavior: pre-scribed or accepted code of usage and manners of ceremony as at court, in official or other formal observances." Originally "Estiquette" was a paper ticket for entrance to court ceremonies in France. Only those versed in social graces were granted such tickets. How to Meet Friends Today, etiquette is still a ticket, available to anyone who 1 wishes to learn the social grace needed in everyday living. You will be a happier person and be more at ease if you know what is expected of you. Be alert at all times. Your eyes and ears are your best aids to know what suits the occasion. Develop the common sense, good judgment, and "know how" that gives you the courtesies that mark a gentleman. Be alert to situations and make the most of them. Every-one wants to belong to a group, to be popular, to get along with others. HOW you say things is just as important as WHAT you say and do. It is important to know when and where to talk. Don't repeat information told you in confidence. Don't repeat gossip. It often isn't flattering to anyone. Be sincere and natural- give compliments to others -we all like to hear a bit of praise. But don't become the proverbial apple polisher. Seek places and events where people go who have inter-ests similar to yours. Introductions Do you know the answers? Boys usually shake hands with each other when they meet the first time. A boy shakes hands with a girl only if she offers her hand to him first. Upon leaving, after being introduced, if someone says to you "It was nice to meet you," say "thank you" or "I enjoyed it too." Don't say "same here." Use simple expressions that sound as though you mean them. When making introductions Say the name of the person so tbat the name is under-stood. Do you know how to inttoduce-Yourself -Say "How do you do, I am John Brown," or "Hello, my name is John Brown." Your parents - Always mention their names first. Older people -Always mention the name of the older person first. Stand when being introduced to older people. Your girl friend -Always mention the girl's name first. Large groups - Mention names of men and women in the order they are standing or sitting. Special titled people - Only a physician or dentist is ad-dressed as "Doctor" at any regular social function. A Protestant clergyman is introduced as Mister, unless he liolds the honorary tide of Doctor of Divinity, in which case he is addressed as Doctor. He should never be ad-dressed as the Reverend. A Catholic priest is addressed as Father. It is a breach of etiquette to call him Mister. Table Manners Table etiquette is an important feature of good manners. Correct table manners are easy to acquire. Which silver to use first Start with the silver that is farthest from your plate. If in doubt watch your hostess. You should wait for her to start anyway. How to eat soup Dip your spoon away from you to the outer edge of the bowl. If soup is too hot, don't blow on it. Wait for it to cool. Bread course Bread and rolls are always broken before they're buttered and eaten. Main course Enjoy your food, don't rush through it as though someone were going to steal it or you had to catch a train! Look attractive when you eat. Bring your food up to your mouth. Do not bend over to meet it. Don't sprawl on the table or tilt back on the legs of your chair. The Job, Before and After Shaky knees are natural. Most employers are human and understand. They don't expect you to be super-human in intelligence or ability. The interview Put your best foot forward. Be mannerly. Wait to be asked to sit down. Be neat, with clothes well-brushed, nails cleaned, shoes polished, and hair neatly combed. Say what you have to say in a clear-cut manner. Don't wise-crack. Don't depend on friends and family connections to get the job for you. Be brief, but tell him what he wants to know, and find out what you want to know about the job. Manners on the job Take your job seriously once you have accepted it. This goes for part time as well as full time jobs. Do your job to the best of your ability. Give a little extra time and service with a smile. Politeness and respect for other workers is a "must." A sourpuss or continual griper is poison to any group. Keep all business matters confidential. Don't let out trade secrets to your friends. We all make mistakes. But admit them, apologize, and don't let it happen again. Over Night or Week-end Guests A popular guest behaves the way you'd like a guest to act in your own home. Try to conform to the family's way of doing things. Pitch in and help with any routine job that needs to be done. T1dy up your own room. Don't expect to be entertained all the while. Reading is a pleasant form of relaxation. Don't expect to borrow the family car. Don't "wear out your welcome" by prolonging your stay. Be polite, have fun, be in good spirits, and you'll be invited again. Write thank you notes Tell your friend's mother how much you enjoyed your visit. If special event was planned, mention this, too -maybe it was a new experience for you - she'll be inter-ested to know. Telephone · Movies · Car Telephone manners Don't use the "guess who" game. It's not polite or very grown up. Keep telephone conversations short. Find out the infor-mation you want to know. If your call is just a visit, it's a good idea to make that short, too. Your voice should be clear, distinct, natural, and pleasant. Movie manners Ask your date if she would like to go - name the movie. Perhaps she has already seen it. "Smooching" at the movies only amuses and annoys the people around you. When there isn't an usher-You go down the aisle first. Stop at the row you wish to sit in. Your girl slides in first. If you don't en1oy the movie -keep it to yourself- other people around you might be enjoying it. Car manners Don't honk the hom and expect your date to come out-it's annoying to her, her family, and the neighbors. Open the car door for her. Open the doot for her when you arrive at your destina-tion. Help her out. Gentlemen Dating Have fun, follow a few rules. When you ask a girl for a date tell her the plans in advance, so she can dress accordingly. If it's to be a double date tell her who is going and ask if she would like to go. Arrive on time, don't get the idea she'll wait and be glad to see you! Plan to arrive at parties on time. It's an insult to your hostess to be late. Sometime tardiness is unavoidable. Phone and explain, tell what time you will arrive. Girls need to be home at a certain hour. Make your plans accordingly. If for some good reason you cannot do this, call her parents and explain. You'll rate high if you do. Nobody likes to go through the mental torturing of car accidents and other mishaps. Make your good night's short and sweet. You'll be in good graces with your date, her family, and neighbors. When you're an escort A gentleman walks on the side nearest the curb. This is a rule dating back to the "horse and buggy days" to protect the lady from being splashed with mud. Today's authorities still consider this the best form. when walking in rough or dangerous places. You assist a girl int0 the bus or train and lead the way o£f the bus or tta.in, so that you may be able to help her off. 

When you Step Out

https://kb.osu.edu/bitstream/1811/90357/1/CFAES_OSUE_403-2.pdf

When you Step Out

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