Palafox, Alejandra

English

Digital Commons@Humboldt State University (HSU)

CouRaGeouS Cuentos: A Journal of CounternarrativesVolume 2 Article 392017The Importance Of Knowing The LanguageAlejandra PalafoxHumboldt State UniversityFollow this and additional works at: http://digitalcommons.humboldt.edu/courageouscuentosPart of the Bilingual, Multilingual, and Multicultural Education Commons, Chicana/o StudiesCommons, Civic and Community Engagement Commons, Community-Based Learning Commons,Creative Writing Commons, Curriculum and Instruction Commons, Domestic and Intimate PartnerViolence Commons, Educational Sociology Commons, Ethnic Studies Commons, Feminist,Gender, and Sexuality Studies Commons, Gender and Sexuality Commons, History Commons,Inequality and Stratification Commons, Latin American Languages and Societies Commons,Latina/o Studies Commons, Modern Literature Commons, Politics and Social Change Commons,Race and Ethnicity Commons, Reading and Language Commons, and the Theory, Knowledge andScience CommonsThis work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 4.0 License© 2016 Department of Critical Race, Gender & Sexuality Studies (CRGS) at Humboldt State University.This Counternarratives and Reflections is brought to you for free and open access by the Journals at Digital Commons @ Humboldt State University. Ithas been accepted for inclusion in CouRaGeouS Cuentos: A Journal of Counternarratives by an authorized administrator of Digital Commons @Humboldt State University. For more information, please contact kyle.morgan@humboldt.edu.Recommended CitationPalafox, Alejandra (2017) "The Importance Of Knowing The Language," CouRaGeouS Cuentos: A Journal of Counternarratives: Vol. 2 ,Article 39.Available at: http://digitalcommons.humboldt.edu/courageouscuentos/vol2/iss1/39 101 The Importance of Knowing the Language  Alejandra Palafox  My educational journey has changed the way I understand my life and the perplexity of my oppressions. Through this journey my goal was to educate myself so I could learn the language that describes what I was going through. The language gays need to know in order to stay true to themselves, to their own persons, to who they are. The language that offers an analysis of their positionality in this world.   I needed the language to talk to my mother about who I am and most importantly to be able to stand up for myself whenever I find myself being oppressed. I wanted to learn the language so I can then grow, so I can then, explain more than just my experiences, but critically analyze why these experiences pushed me to understand the language heterosexuals didn’t need to know.  I recognize that internalized oppressions, such as homophobia, exist. I know about self-silencing so my family wouldn’t get shamed on my account.  I had trouble understanding this language at first because the terminology was all very new and difficult to fully understand. It was far beyond my vocabulary. That frustrated me because I recognized it. The reason I pushed myself to understand this language was so I can go back home and explain it to my mother. Explain to her who I am and what experiences I have gone through and still continue to go through. I want to have a conversation with her about that topic we never brought up again; the topic of my “coming out.” I want to have the conversation and be able to do so with more depth. I want to ask so many questions, questions I never got the chance to ask. I also want her to ask me questions, the ones she is always curious about.   102 Every time I go back home I realize I have made progress on who I am, however, I re-experience some oppressions I thought I had overcome already. Going back home I realize that that oppression hasn’t fully gone away. At home I was able to get my mother to think more critically about some of my experience of oppression. She didn’t quite understand what I meant until she started watching this show called, Los Casos Cerrados. In this show this lady is a judge and she defends gay people from heterosexuals because heterosexuals are so stubborn and refuse to understand that queer people exist and will continue to. After watching this show, she then understood what I meant by coming back home and having to deal with some oppressions I thought I had already dealt with and resolved. In that moment, I saw that she understood now, that she could see it now; she was allowing herself to be open and see these oppressions in our community.  Getting an education is important for my self-improvement and growth because without education I would continue to be experiencing my life without actually understanding why it is that my experiences lead me to feeling this way. I feel like I need to police myself so I stop experiencing homophobia, and unwillingly conform to my gender roles. As for the language I needed to learn, I learned in English; now I need to translate it into Spanish because my mother only speaks Spanish. This is something I am currently working on. In class we were asked what meta narrative we connect to, what well-known story mirrors our own story? I have not found a meta narrative that describes my story.   

The Importance Of Knowing The Language

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The Importance Of Knowing The Language

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