Successful child-care providers, preschool teachers and elementary teachers begin to establish positive relationships with the children in their care or classrooms as soon as possible. Here are some guidelines for making closer contact with the children\u27s families

Bosch, Kathy

DeFrain, John

Krumbach, Eileen

Nelson, Mary

Purcell, Sarah Effken

Schroeder, Debra E.

Warner, Mary K.

English

DigitalCommons@University of Nebraska

University of Nebraska - Lincoln DigitalCommons@University of Nebraska - Lincoln Historical Materials from University of Nebraska-Lincoln Extension Extension 2005 NF05-626 Communicating with Families: Building Relationships Mary K. Warner University of Nebraska - Lincoln, mwarner1@unl.edu Debra E. Schroeder University of Nebraska - Lincoln, dschroeder1@unl.edu Mary Nelson University of Nebraska - Lincoln, mnelson1@unl.edu Eileen Krumbach University of Nebraska&#8211Lincoln, ekrumbach1@unl.edu Sarah Effken Purcell University of Nebraska - Lincoln, spurcell2@unl.edu See next page for additional authors Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/extensionhist  Part of the Agriculture Commons, and the Curriculum and Instruction Commons Warner, Mary K.; Schroeder, Debra E.; Nelson, Mary; Krumbach, Eileen; Purcell, Sarah Effken; Bosch, Kathy; and DeFrain, John, "NF05-626 Communicating with Families: Building Relationships" (2005). Historical Materials from University of Nebraska-Lincoln Extension. 1752. https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/extensionhist/1752 This Article is brought to you for free and open access by the Extension at DigitalCommons@University of Nebraska - Lincoln. It has been accepted for inclusion in Historical Materials from University of Nebraska-Lincoln Extension by an authorized administrator of DigitalCommons@University of Nebraska - Lincoln. Authors Mary K. Warner, Debra E. Schroeder, Mary Nelson, Eileen Krumbach, Sarah Effken Purcell, Kathy Bosch, and John DeFrain This article is available at DigitalCommons@University of Nebraska - Lincoln: https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/extensionhist/1752 NF626Communicating with Families:Building RelationshipsAdapted by: Mary K. Warner, Debra Schroeder, Mary Nelson, Eileen Krumbach, and Sarah Effken Purcell,Extension Educators; and John DeFrain and Kathy Bosch, Extension SpecialistsSuccessful child-care providers, preschool teachers and elementary teachers begin to establish positive relationships with the children in their care or classrooms as soon as possible. Here are some guidelines for making closer contact with the children’s families.Show that you really care about each child.An old Danish proverb states, “Who takes the child by the hand takes the mother by the heart.” If early-childhood professionals keep this proverb in mind, they will recognize that families want providers and teachers to pay attention to their child and to treat them in a special way. This can be demonstrated every day through kind words and deeds. Pay attention to the little details that show you truly care, such as sending an extra note home with parents, making sure children’s hands and faces are washed after a meal or that they have mittens on when they go out to play. If you do not pay attention to the little things, families may think you are too busy or not motivated to really care for their child.Make personal contact with the families through face-to-face communication.Take advantage of the opportunity to greet families and have a friendly conversation about their day when they arrive to pick up their children. Rather than mingling only with your coworkers or friends, visit with families at school programs and community events.Treat families as individuals.Communicate with families on a one-to-one basis, and be sure to allow time to visit with them privately. Connect with them as individuals, not just as Jake or Susan’s family member.Listen and respond carefully to family members.This will show you are really interested in what family members are thinking or feeling. Try the following so family members do not think you are too busy to care.•	 Provide	ways	for	family	members	to	share	their	concerns.	Ask, “What changes have you seen in Toby’s behavior?” Or, “What are Jack’s favorite foods at home?”•	 Listen	 carefully	when	 family	members	 talk	 to	 you.	Maintain appropriate eye contact and other nonverbal clues.•	 Ask	appropriate	questions	and	invite	them	to	elaborate	on what they are saying by saying, “Tell me more.”•	 Try	to	remain	silent	long	enough	for	family	members	to	gather	their	thoughts	after	you	have	asked	a	question.	Avoid	interrupting	them	or	quickly	responding	with	additional comments.•	 Respond	to	family	members’	questions	and	concerns	honestly and directly. Share some ideas or resources to	help	them	find	the	answers	to	their	questions.	If	you	do not know the answer to something, say so.Treat family members with respect and consideration.Greet family members when you see them and use their proper names. Pronounce and spell their names correctly.Use terms that family members are familiar with such as “children playing together” rather than “cooperative learning.” When you address letters or notes, use “Dear Family Mem-bers” rather than “Dear Parents.” If possible, arrange to have relevant program materials translated in the home language of the families in your care or classroom. Use a translator if you	feel	it	is	necessary.	Learn	a	few	words	in	their	family’s	home language.Honor family confidentiality.Families are busy and there are many things going on in their	lives:	deaths,	illness,	divorces,	job	challenges,	financial	worries and more. These family concerns may have been shared with you by a family member who needed to talk and trusted you. Maintain that trust. Keep personal information confidential	(unless	it	involves	child	neglect	or	abuse).Focus on family strengths.Look	 for	 ways	 to	 enhance	 building	 relationships	 by	focusing on family strengths rather than faults.•	 Identify	one	strength	each	family	in	your	care	has	and	build on that during the year.®®Index: Family LifeRelationshipsIssued March 2005Extension	is	a	Division	of	the	Institute	of	Agriculture	and	Natural	Resources	at	the	University	of	Nebraska–Lincoln	cooperating	with	the	Countiesand the United States Department of Agriculture.University	of	Nebraska–Lincoln	Extension	educational	programs	abide	with	the	nondiscrimination	policies	of	the	University	of	Nebraska–Lincolnand the United States Department of Agriculture.© 2005, The Board of Regents of the University of Nebraska on behalf of the University of Nebraska–Lincoln Extension.  All rights reserved.•	 Avoid	 labeling	 families.	 Instead	 of	 thinking	 Sarah	comes from a broken home, shift your thinking to, “Sarah comes from a family in which her grandmother is very supportive.”•	 Listen	 respectfully	when	children	share	 information	about their families. Rather than saying judgmental things like, “Oh, how awful,” try saying something like, “That must worry you.”•	 Make	 sure	 classroom	 materials	 reflect	 the	 cultural	groups and family compositions of the families of those in your care. This is a very clear sign that you value each child’s family.•	 Try	to	look	at	things	from	the	family’s	point	of	view.	An example that can help you appreciate the family’s situation might be to think, “This is my only child’s first	day	of	school.”•	 Provide	positive	feedback	to	families	about	their	child’s	progress. Comments or short notes about things both you and the family are working on together go a long way toward helping families become partners in the educational process.Share control with families by including them as partners in the care and education of their children. Interact with them in ways they feel most comfortable, whether it be a phone call	or	in	person.	Learn	from	family	members.	What	words	do they use and what nonverbal behaviors are working? And	finally,	collaborate	with	family	members	on	decisions	regarding their child’s care and educational experience. De-cide together on certain goals for the children and ways to achieve these goals.Make	 frequent	 attempts	 to	 include	 families	 in	 their	children’s early education. Use handouts at orientation, a weekly newsletter or give parents opportunities to volunteer in your classroom. There are a variety of practices that promote family involvement.Child Rearing — Provide families with Web sites, vid-eos, computerized phone messages or publications on child development.Communicating — Create opportunities for informal conversations between family members and you, such as an open house, breakfast with the children at the center or a coffee klatch, which can bring families and providers closer together. Encourage families to read their child’s daily activ-ity sheet and to take the time to discuss their child’s day with the teacher or you.Volunteering — Identify talents, times and interests of family members through a survey. Invite family members to participate in your program on a one time or ongoing basis. Activities could include helping with fund-raisers, securing donations, helping with parties, providing supplies for an activity or special program, or sharing a favorite hobby or family custom.Learning at Home — Provide calendars that describe simple daily or weekly learning activities families can try at home with their children. Offer a workshop or include articles in	newsletters	on	ways	 family	members	can	 teach	specific	early learning skills at home.Representing Other Families — Encourage family participation and leadership on center, school or community advisory councils or committees. Support families as they become involved in advocating for children and families in your community.Finally, don’t be afraid of change. Try not to get caught in habits that may not be practical to families today. If in the last several years it worked to have a breakfast for dads on the Father’s Day weekend and this year the kids are really working on a classroom camp out, change to breakfast cooked over	a	campfire	with	the	dads	helping.Strengthening relationships with families need not be a time consuming or overwhelming challenge. The rewards can be great as you strengthen not only your child-care setting but also the families with whom you work.ReferencesKostelnik, M., Whiren, A., Soderman, A., Gregory, K., and Stein,	L.,	“Strengthening	Development	Appropriate	Pro-grams Through Family Involvement,” Guiding Children’s Social Development: Theory to Practice, 4th Edition. Albany, New York: Delmar, 2002.This publication has been peer reviewed.UNL	Extension	publications	are	available	online	at http://extension.unl.edu/publications.

NF05-626 Communicating with Families: \u3cem\u3eBuilding Relationships\u3c/em\u3e

UNL | Libraries

University of Nebraska - Lincoln 
DigitalCommons@University of Nebraska - Lincoln 
Historical Materials from University of 
Nebraska-Lincoln Extension Extension 
2005 
NF05-626 Communicating with Families: Building Relationships 
Mary K. Warner 
University of Nebraska - Lincoln, mwarner1@unl.edu 
Debra E. Schroeder 
University of Nebraska - Lincoln, dschroeder1@unl.edu 
Mary Nelson 
University of Nebraska - Lincoln, mnelson1@unl.edu 
Eileen Krumbach 
University of Nebraska&#8211Lincoln, ekrumbach1@unl.edu 
Sarah Effken Purcell 
University of Nebraska - Lincoln, spurcell2@unl.edu 
See next page for additional authors 
Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/extensionhist 
 Part of the Agriculture Commons, and the Curriculum and Instruction Commons 
Warner, Mary K.; Schroeder, Debra E.; Nelson, Mary; Krumbach, Eileen; Purcell, Sarah Effken; Bosch, Kathy; 
and DeFrain, John, "NF05-626 Communicating with Families: Building Relationships" (2005). Historical 
Materials from University of Nebraska-Lincoln Extension. 1752. 
https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/extensionhist/1752 
This Article is brought to you for free and open access by the Extension at DigitalCommons@University of Nebraska - 
Lincoln. It has been accepted for inclusion in Historical Materials from University of Nebraska-Lincoln Extension by an 
authorized administrator of DigitalCommons@University of Nebraska - Lincoln. 
Authors 
Mary K. Warner, Debra E. Schroeder, Mary Nelson, Eileen Krumbach, Sarah Effken Purcell, Kathy Bosch, 
and John DeFrain 
This article is available at DigitalCommons@University of Nebraska - Lincoln: https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/
extensionhist/1752 
NF626
Communicating with Families:
Building Relationships
Adapted by: Mary K. Warner, Debra Schroeder, Mary Nelson, Eileen Krumbach, and Sarah Effken Purcell,
Extension Educators; and John DeFrain and Kathy Bosch, Extension Specialists
Successful child-care providers, preschool teachers and elementary teachers begin to establish positive relationships 
with the children in their care or classrooms as soon as possible. Here are some guidelines for making closer contact 
with the children’s families.
Show that you really care about each child.
An old Danish proverb states, “Who takes the child by 
the hand takes the mother by the heart.” If early-childhood 
professionals keep this proverb in mind, they will recognize 
that families want providers and teachers to pay attention 
to their child and to treat them in a special way. This can be 
demonstrated every day through kind words and deeds. Pay 
attention to the little details that show you truly care, such 
as sending an extra note home with parents, making sure 
children’s hands and faces are washed after a meal or that 
they have mittens on when they go out to play. If you do not 
pay attention to the little things, families may think you are 
too busy or not motivated to really care for their child.
Make personal contact with the families through face-to-
face communication.
Take advantage of the opportunity to greet families and 
have a friendly conversation about their day when they arrive 
to pick up their children. Rather than mingling only with your 
coworkers or friends, visit with families at school programs 
and community events.
Treat families as individuals.
Communicate with families on a one-to-one basis, and 
be sure to allow time to visit with them privately. Connect 
with them as individuals, not just as Jake or Susan’s family 
member.
Listen and respond carefully to family members.
This will show you are really interested in what family 
members are thinking or feeling. Try the following so family 
members do not think you are too busy to care.
•	 Provide	ways	for	family	members	to	share	their	concerns.	
Ask, “What changes have you seen in Toby’s behavior?” 
Or, “What are Jack’s favorite foods at home?”
•	 Listen	 carefully	when	 family	members	 talk	 to	 you.	
Maintain appropriate eye contact and other nonverbal 
clues.
•	 Ask	appropriate	questions	and	invite	them	to	elaborate	
on what they are saying by saying, “Tell me more.”
•	 Try	to	remain	silent	long	enough	for	family	members	to	
gather	their	thoughts	after	you	have	asked	a	question.	
Avoid	interrupting	them	or	quickly	responding	with	
additional comments.
•	 Respond	to	family	members’	questions	and	concerns	
honestly and directly. Share some ideas or resources 
to	help	them	find	the	answers	to	their	questions.	If	you	
do not know the answer to something, say so.
Treat family members with respect and consideration.
Greet family members when you see them and use their 
proper names. Pronounce and spell their names correctly.
Use terms that family members are familiar with such as 
“children playing together” rather than “cooperative learning.” 
When you address letters or notes, use “Dear Family Mem-
bers” rather than “Dear Parents.” If possible, arrange to have 
relevant program materials translated in the home language 
of the families in your care or classroom. Use a translator if 
you	feel	it	is	necessary.	Learn	a	few	words	in	their	family’s	
home language.
Honor family confidentiality.
Families are busy and there are many things going on in 
their	lives:	deaths,	illness,	divorces,	job	challenges,	financial	
worries and more. These family concerns may have been 
shared with you by a family member who needed to talk and 
trusted you. Maintain that trust. Keep personal information 
confidential	(unless	it	involves	child	neglect	or	abuse).
Focus on family strengths.
Look	 for	 ways	 to	 enhance	 building	 relationships	 by	
focusing on family strengths rather than faults.
•	 Identify	one	strength	each	family	in	your	care	has	and	
build on that during the year.
®
®
Index: Family Life
Relationships
Issued March 2005
Extension	is	a	Division	of	the	Institute	of	Agriculture	and	Natural	Resources	at	the	University	of	Nebraska–Lincoln	cooperating	with	the	Counties
and the United States Department of Agriculture.
University	of	Nebraska–Lincoln	Extension	educational	programs	abide	with	the	nondiscrimination	policies	of	the	University	of	Nebraska–Lincoln
and the United States Department of Agriculture.
© 2005, The Board of Regents of the University of Nebraska on behalf of the University of Nebraska–Lincoln Extension.  All rights reserved.
•	 Avoid	 labeling	 families.	 Instead	 of	 thinking	 Sarah	
comes from a broken home, shift your thinking to, 
“Sarah comes from a family in which her grandmother 
is very supportive.”
•	 Listen	 respectfully	when	children	share	 information	
about their families. Rather than saying judgmental 
things like, “Oh, how awful,” try saying something 
like, “That must worry you.”
•	 Make	 sure	 classroom	 materials	 reflect	 the	 cultural	
groups and family compositions of the families of those 
in your care. This is a very clear sign that you value 
each child’s family.
•	 Try	to	look	at	things	from	the	family’s	point	of	view.	
An example that can help you appreciate the family’s 
situation might be to think, “This is my only child’s 
first	day	of	school.”
•	 Provide	positive	feedback	to	families	about	their	child’s	
progress. Comments or short notes about things both 
you and the family are working on together go a long 
way toward helping families become partners in the 
educational process.
Share control with families by including them as partners 
in the care and education of their children. Interact with them 
in ways they feel most comfortable, whether it be a phone 
call	or	in	person.	Learn	from	family	members.	What	words	
do they use and what nonverbal behaviors are working? 
And	finally,	collaborate	with	family	members	on	decisions	
regarding their child’s care and educational experience. De-
cide together on certain goals for the children and ways to 
achieve these goals.
Make	 frequent	 attempts	 to	 include	 families	 in	 their	
children’s early education. Use handouts at orientation, a 
weekly newsletter or give parents opportunities to volunteer in 
your classroom. There are a variety of practices that promote 
family involvement.
Child Rearing — Provide families with Web sites, vid-
eos, computerized phone messages or publications on child 
development.
Communicating — Create opportunities for informal 
conversations between family members and you, such as 
an open house, breakfast with the children at the center or a 
coffee klatch, which can bring families and providers closer 
together. Encourage families to read their child’s daily activ-
ity sheet and to take the time to discuss their child’s day with 
the teacher or you.
Volunteering — Identify talents, times and interests of 
family members through a survey. Invite family members to 
participate in your program on a one time or ongoing basis. 
Activities could include helping with fund-raisers, securing 
donations, helping with parties, providing supplies for an 
activity or special program, or sharing a favorite hobby or 
family custom.
Learning at Home — Provide calendars that describe 
simple daily or weekly learning activities families can try at 
home with their children. Offer a workshop or include articles 
in	newsletters	on	ways	 family	members	can	 teach	specific	
early learning skills at home.
Representing Other Families — Encourage family 
participation and leadership on center, school or community 
advisory councils or committees. Support families as they 
become involved in advocating for children and families in 
your community.
Finally, don’t be afraid of change. Try not to get caught 
in habits that may not be practical to families today. If in the 
last several years it worked to have a breakfast for dads on 
the Father’s Day weekend and this year the kids are really 
working on a classroom camp out, change to breakfast cooked 
over	a	campfire	with	the	dads	helping.
Strengthening relationships with families need not be a 
time consuming or overwhelming challenge. The rewards can 
be great as you strengthen not only your child-care setting but 
also the families with whom you work.
References
Kostelnik, M., Whiren, A., Soderman, A., Gregory, K., and 
Stein,	L.,	“Strengthening	Development	Appropriate	Pro-
grams Through Family Involvement,” Guiding Children’s 
Social Development: Theory to Practice, 4th Edition. 
Albany, New York: Delmar, 2002.
This publication has been peer reviewed.
UNL	Extension	publications	are	available	online	
at http://extension.unl.edu/publications.


https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2745&amp;context=extensionhist

NF05-626 Communicating with Families: \u3cem\u3eBuilding Relationships\u3c/em\u3e

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