We define the "sum of squares of the wavelengths" of a Riemannian surface
(M,g) to be the regularized trace of the inverse of the Laplacian. We normalize
by scaling and adding a constant, to obtain a "mass", which is scale invariant
and vanishes at the round sphere. This is an anlaog for closed surfaces of the
ADM mass from general relativity. We show that if M has positive genus then on
each conformal class, the mass attains a negative minimum. For the minimizing
metric, there is a sharp logarithmic Hardy-Littlewood-Sobolev inequality and a
Moser-Trudinger-Onofri type inequality.Comment: 8 page