We make use of the fact that the optical geometry near a static
non-degenerate Killing horizon is asymptotically hyperbolic to investigate
universal features of black hole physics. We show how the Gauss-Bonnet theorem
allows certain lensing scenarios to be ruled in or out. We find rates for the
loss of scalar, vector and fermionic `hair' as objects fall quasi- statically
towards the horizon. In the process we find the Lienard-Wiechert potential for
hyperbolic space and calculate the force between electrons mediated by
neutrinos, extending the flat space result of Feinberg and Sucher. We use the
enhanced conformal symmetry of the Schwarzschild and Reissner-Nordstrom
backgrounds to re-derive the electrostatic field due to a point charge in a
simple fashion