This NebFact discusses how a sense of spiritual well-being is an important element for many strong families

Defrain, John

English

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University of Nebraska - Lincoln 
DigitalCommons@University of Nebraska - Lincoln 
Historical Materials from University of 
Nebraska-Lincoln Extension Extension 
2000 
NF00-444 Creating a Strong Family: Spiritual Well-Being: Sacred 
Connections 
John Defrain 
University of Nebraska--Lincoln, jdefrain1@unl.edu 
Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/extensionhist 
 Part of the Agriculture Commons, and the Curriculum and Instruction Commons 
Defrain, John, "NF00-444 Creating a Strong Family: Spiritual Well-Being: Sacred Connections" (2000). 
Historical Materials from University of Nebraska-Lincoln Extension. 292. 
https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/extensionhist/292 
This Article is brought to you for free and open access by the Extension at DigitalCommons@University of Nebraska - 
Lincoln. It has been accepted for inclusion in Historical Materials from University of Nebraska-Lincoln Extension by an 
authorized administrator of DigitalCommons@University of Nebraska - Lincoln. 
Nebraska Cooperative Extension NF00-444
Creating a Strong Family 
Spiritual Well-Being: Sacred Connections 
John DeFrain, Extension Specialist, Family and Community Development  
Several months ago, my wife Nikki, youngest daughter Erica, and I were 
having tea with Bryson, an older gentleman, in the dining room of his 
modest home in Maitland, New South Wales, Australia. We were in 
Australia to work on a project supported by the Commonwealth Government 
to study the strengths of Australian families.  
Bryson's wife of many years, Joan, had died of cancer eight years before. 
"Do you still feel connected to Joan?" I asked. "Oh, yes," he replied. "She's 
right here in the room with us now."  
I found myself smiling. I had heard this many times before from people in 
strong families. "She's with me a lot," Bryson continued. "She comforts me 
and looks over me, and makes it possible for me to go on in life in this world 
without her. I would have ended it all a couple years ago if Joan wouldn't 
have been with me."  
Bryson has a profound and deep emotional connection with his late wife, a 
connection similar to the one our friend Louise has for her mother. Louise's 
mom died when she was 15 years old, but a powerful bond still lives in her 
heart today. "Sometimes when I'm feeling sad, and sometimes when I'm 
feeling happy, I'll go out to Wyuka Cemetery and talk with Mom," she said. 
"I tell her how life's going and tell her how much I miss her. I know it sounds 
crazy, and I don't tell many people about it, but it gives me great comfort."  
Ordinary words don't do this bond justice, and in developing our model of 
family strengths, we decided to use the words spiritual well-being to describe 
this sacred connection. Years ago we talked about religion as a family 
strength, but our thinking evolved and the term spiritual well-being seems to 
work better.  
This is one of a series 
of eight NebFacts, 
including two 
publications which 
introduce the series 
and provide a broader 
perspective. 
? What Is a 
Strong Family, 
Anyway?, 
NF00-439 
? Qualities of 
Strong Families, 
NF00-446 
? Appreciation 
and Affection: 
Developing an 
Emotional 
Bond, NF00-
440 
? Commitment: 
The Family 
Comes First, 
People tend to associate the term religion with institutions and doctrine. For 
many people, these associations are quite positive. For others, the term 
conjures up negative images, often going back to childhood. Besides, the 
term religion isn't really broad enough to describe what strong family 
members have been describing to us through twentysomething years of 
research.  
Some families talk about faith in God, faith in life, faith in loved ones. They 
tell us that they are generally hopeful about life and believe that, in a broad 
sense, life works out pretty well for them. Some describe a feeling of 
oneness with the world, a connection to nature, to the land. Some people talk 
about how important it is to them that family members share important 
ethical values and beliefs and that they express themselves in these terms by 
commitment to important social causes.  
And then there are the Brysons and Louises of the world who talk about their 
families in almost religious terms, describing the love they feel for one 
another as sacred and selfless. What profound force drives parents to dive 
into raging torrents to rescue a child in distress without the slightest 
consideration for their own personal safety?  
Spiritual well-being comes from the caring center within each individual that 
promotes sharing, love and compassion. Spiritual well-being is the feeling or 
power that helps people transcend themselves, rising above the mundane and 
petty to identify with the greater good: "I feel my family is a part of all the 
families of the world," said one individual.  
Membership in a religious or spiritual group can provide a caring, supportive 
community to help when illness strikes, a baby is born or an accident occurs. Friends in the group are 
often quick to help each other. But many strong families are not involved with such an institution. In 
Australia we found that a relatively small percentage of families went to a church, synagogue, mosque 
or temple on a regular basis, but many families still nurtured a sense of spiritual well-being in their lives. 
My minister, Charles Stephen, once described religion as "the search for that which is sacred in life." 
Strong families find solace in these sacred connections.  
File NF444 under: FAMILY LIFE 
F-22, Relationships 
Issued September 2000  
Issued in furtherance of Cooperative Extension work, Acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914, in cooperation 
with the U.S. Department of Agriculture. Elbert C. Dickey, Interim Dean and Director of Cooperative 
Extension, University of Nebraska, Institute of Agriculture and Natural Resources.  
University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension educational programs abide with the non-discrimination 
policies of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and the United States Department of Agriculture. 
NF00-441 
? Positive 
Communication: 
Smoothing Out 
the Bumps in 
Family Life, 
NF00-442 
? Enjoyable Time 
Together: A 
Journey of 
Happy 
Memories, 
NF00-443 
? Spiritual Well-
Being: Sacred 
Connections, 
NF00-444 
? Successful 
Management of 
Stress and 
Crisis, NF00-
445 


NF00-444 Creating a Strong Family:  Spiritual Well-Being: Sacred Connections

DigitalCommons@University of Nebraska

University of Nebraska - Lincoln DigitalCommons@University of Nebraska - Lincoln Historical Materials from University of Nebraska-Lincoln Extension Extension 2000 NF00-444 Creating a Strong Family: Spiritual Well-Being: Sacred Connections John Defrain University of Nebraska--Lincoln, jdefrain1@unl.edu Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/extensionhist  Part of the Agriculture Commons, and the Curriculum and Instruction Commons Defrain, John, "NF00-444 Creating a Strong Family: Spiritual Well-Being: Sacred Connections" (2000). Historical Materials from University of Nebraska-Lincoln Extension. 292. https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/extensionhist/292 This Article is brought to you for free and open access by the Extension at DigitalCommons@University of Nebraska - Lincoln. It has been accepted for inclusion in Historical Materials from University of Nebraska-Lincoln Extension by an authorized administrator of DigitalCommons@University of Nebraska - Lincoln. Nebraska Cooperative Extension NF00-444Creating a Strong Family Spiritual Well-Being: Sacred Connections John DeFrain, Extension Specialist, Family and Community Development  Several months ago, my wife Nikki, youngest daughter Erica, and I were having tea with Bryson, an older gentleman, in the dining room of his modest home in Maitland, New South Wales, Australia. We were in Australia to work on a project supported by the Commonwealth Government to study the strengths of Australian families.  Bryson's wife of many years, Joan, had died of cancer eight years before. "Do you still feel connected to Joan?" I asked. "Oh, yes," he replied. "She's right here in the room with us now."  I found myself smiling. I had heard this many times before from people in strong families. "She's with me a lot," Bryson continued. "She comforts me and looks over me, and makes it possible for me to go on in life in this world without her. I would have ended it all a couple years ago if Joan wouldn't have been with me."  Bryson has a profound and deep emotional connection with his late wife, a connection similar to the one our friend Louise has for her mother. Louise's mom died when she was 15 years old, but a powerful bond still lives in her heart today. "Sometimes when I'm feeling sad, and sometimes when I'm feeling happy, I'll go out to Wyuka Cemetery and talk with Mom," she said. "I tell her how life's going and tell her how much I miss her. I know it sounds crazy, and I don't tell many people about it, but it gives me great comfort."  Ordinary words don't do this bond justice, and in developing our model of family strengths, we decided to use the words spiritual well-being to describe this sacred connection. Years ago we talked about religion as a family strength, but our thinking evolved and the term spiritual well-being seems to work better.  This is one of a series of eight NebFacts, including two publications which introduce the series and provide a broader perspective. z What Is a Strong Family, Anyway?, NF00-439 z Qualities of Strong Families, NF00-446 z Appreciation and Affection: Developing an Emotional Bond, NF00-440 z Commitment: The Family Comes First, People tend to associate the term religion with institutions and doctrine. For many people, these associations are quite positive. For others, the term conjures up negative images, often going back to childhood. Besides, the term religion isn't really broad enough to describe what strong family members have been describing to us through twentysomething years of research.  Some families talk about faith in God, faith in life, faith in loved ones. They tell us that they are generally hopeful about life and believe that, in a broad sense, life works out pretty well for them. Some describe a feeling of oneness with the world, a connection to nature, to the land. Some people talk about how important it is to them that family members share important ethical values and beliefs and that they express themselves in these terms by commitment to important social causes.  And then there are the Brysons and Louises of the world who talk about their families in almost religious terms, describing the love they feel for one another as sacred and selfless. What profound force drives parents to dive into raging torrents to rescue a child in distress without the slightest consideration for their own personal safety?  Spiritual well-being comes from the caring center within each individual that promotes sharing, love and compassion. Spiritual well-being is the feeling or power that helps people transcend themselves, rising above the mundane and petty to identify with the greater good: "I feel my family is a part of all the families of the world," said one individual.  Membership in a religious or spiritual group can provide a caring, supportive community to help when illness strikes, a baby is born or an accident occurs. Friends in the group are often quick to help each other. But many strong families are not involved with such an institution. In Australia we found that a relatively small percentage of families went to a church, synagogue, mosque or temple on a regular basis, but many families still nurtured a sense of spiritual well-being in their lives. My minister, Charles Stephen, once described religion as "the search for that which is sacred in life." Strong families find solace in these sacred connections.  File NF444 under: FAMILY LIFE F-22, Relationships Issued September 2000  Issued in furtherance of Cooperative Extension work, Acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914, in cooperation with the U.S. Department of Agriculture. Elbert C. Dickey, Interim Dean and Director of Cooperative Extension, University of Nebraska, Institute of Agriculture and Natural Resources.  University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension educational programs abide with the non-discrimination policies of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and the United States Department of Agriculture. NF00-441 z Positive Communication: Smoothing Out the Bumps in Family Life, NF00-442 z Enjoyable Time Together: A Journey of Happy Memories, NF00-443 z Spiritual Well-Being: Sacred Connections, NF00-444 z Successful Management of Stress and Crisis, NF00-445 

https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1297&context=extensionhist

NF00-444 Creating a Strong Family: Spiritual Well-Being: Sacred Connections

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