comparison of current Bolshevist humor with that of 10 years ag

Mehnert, Klaus, 1906-1984

eVols at University of Hawaii at Manoa

BOLSHEVIST "HUMOR"By KLAUS MEHNERTU i4 II commonplau tAat Aumor diJJer. i" diJJereN countriu, "lI"yolWl WMIwa. ewr 'umed over 1M pogu oj humot'OlU~nu oj tllIriotu ftIJIiou, II "NewYorker," II "Punch," or II "Simpl~,"will Ggf'N. Bw" i4 eqtMJlly ".". IAat1M humor oj one ftalion differ8 lit differmt nmu. The Aumor oj II na.Rcm ifldic4luto _ ute'" iU~ COtidilion al IIny gi_ period 01 iU hi8lory.1" tJ&e followiftg "agu we prt8ml II compaNOfi ojB~ Aumor loGGytcitJ& tJ&a' of 'en year. ago.THE very word "humor" sounds pleas-ant and refreshing. When I beganmy study of Soviet humor, I lookedforward to a few hours of relaxation; forthere is a type of humor which is soirresistible that one is forced to laugheven when it comes from one's enemies.Good humorous magazines seem funnyto WI even in the dentist's waiting-room.But I was bitterly disappointed. Ihave seldom read anything that was sofar removed from humor as the last eightnumbers of the biggest Soviet humorousperiodical Orocodile and the booklet ofjokes entitled Metlcim Udarom (Well-aimed Hit8). I worked my way through244 items--jokes, caricatures. verses, etc."JOKES" ABOUT FRITZIt is hardly surprising that all itemsrefer to the war. But what is surprisingis that only very few of the items dealwith events on the Soviet side, to beexact, 65 out of the 244, while all othersdeal with the enemy-the Germans,Finns, Rumanians, etc. Incidentally, nota single joke ha..'i as its subject the alliesof the Soviet Union--evidently there isnothing to laugh about there. The greatmajority of jokes about the enemy areaimed at the Germans, who are alwayscalled "Fritz." Here are a few examples:Fir8t Fritz: What bad luck! I'vedropped the whole load of my plane onthe Russians!Second Fritz: Why bad luck?Fir81 Fritz: Because my load consistedof food supplies for our troops. (Met·kim Udarom, page 27.)•Or the "joke" about fourteen Germansoldiers who, while digging a dugout, areburied under an exploding Soviet mine;or the one about the German couple inKOnigsberg who are invited for tea atfriends and find upon their arrival thattheir friends' house has been destroyedby a Soviet bomb (both from Orocodile,No. 33, September 19(2).This cannot be called humor. It ismean and stupid. It is everything butfunny.JOKES ABOUT THEMSELVESJokes dealing with the Soviet side canbe divided into two groups. The firstand by far the larger serves to praise theirown efficiency. at the front as well as athome. They are primitive and brutal.The Red soldiers are, of course, alwaysshining heroes, while abuse and filth areheaped upon the enemies.As for the small percentage of jokesfollowing the tradition of RU88ian wit,which expressed itself in self-criticism,they are the only ones which may becalled humorous. Since they throw lighton events within the Soviet Union, wehavereproduced some of the caricatures andhave replaced their Russian texts withEnglish translations. Three of them em-phasize the necessity of saving electricity,fuel, and gasoline; the fourth deals with294 THE XXtb CENTURYinsufficient compliance with the orderto be polite to all comrades in viewof the distress in which the SovietUnion finds itself at present.BOW TO KEEP A SECRETBelow we give two more examplesof this self-criticism. The first ofthese shows the fear of spies anddeals with the constantly emphasizednecessity for secrecy. It is a letteraddre, sed by a man to hi wife:"Dear wife, how often have I toldyou that babbling in war time helpsthe enemy. You must wlderstandthat I am not entitled to tell youdetails of my life at present becausewe are at war and must maintainsecrecy.As I wrote you before, I am workingas the deputy chief of stores in the localfood supply organization. There are pilesof work to be done. At prefolt:'nt theharve t is in filII swing. and a", a resultwe al'e receiving p-toe,.., c-bage, and otherv-tables da.y and night. I have hardl}any free time at all, The day beforeyesterday I saw a flllllOUS movie of thecivil war period; of course I cannot tellyou the title, since we are at war. But"In September I ~11I111 burn 50 per cent Ieea\\'ood than in August.""Row will you mlln8ge that ~'."\'(ory simple. Half Illy wood wn.,. stolon,"I can tell you that thi movie was made1.)\- the brothers Vassiliev. the same whon;adl' the movie 'eh-.' There is no othernews. The motor factory which is inT street next to the club is building anew department. In our town a tankdivision is being trained. At the militaryairfield they are looking for a charwoman.I should like to recommend you, if youfet"l like coming here. I cannot let youknow my private address because we areat war. Write to me c/o the vege-table storehouse of the food 8upplyorganization. PIAf\>:" gi\rt> m.y regardato Aunt X (Comrade Tchutcbkin'swife), Your loving husbaild." (Croc-rvlilp. No. ~:l, S<,ptombor 104.2.)UH.iIr;:Nf; ANi) WARTho next is also a letter. sup-posedly written to the editor of anewspaper by the manager of apublic eating place who has beendischarged. He complains abouthis dismissal and defl:mds himselfagainst the reproach that he basneglected his duties. He continuo:;:"I do not wish to deny thatduring the last few months myeating place was less hygienic thanbefore. But I cannot bother muchabout hygiene. During war timethere are more important things toBOLSHEVIST "HUMOR"HOW THEY SAVE ELECTRICITY295SAV~£Lf<TI21<ItyCharwoman Shura(0.00 Kilowatl<ll)Manager Tchijikov(100 Kilowatts)be done, and if in these times there a.repeople who accuse me because of foodbeing served on dirty plates, I mustprotest most vehemently. I am a manof culture myself, yet you will find atmy home disbeA that have not beenwashed for two months. Are these thetimes to bother with such trifles~! Thenuthor of n letter to the editor complainsthat at the eating house the garbage hasnot been removed for w(leks. This as-sertion is unfounded. All in all, it isonly for 27 days that the garbage hasnot been removed, that is, since themiddle of August, 'when I had to dismissthe charwoman in order to replace her11.'" a man who could reply to the com-plaints entered by the guests of thCleatiug place into our complaint book.The complaints about the unh~rgieniccondition of the eating place had becomeso numerous that I was faced by tho choiceBookkeeper Luzikov(16 Kilowatts)The D088 HimBClf(300 Kilowatts)either of answering them myself (in whichcase I would have had no more time leftt{) manage the eating place) or of engaginga man who could devote all his effortBand talent to the complaint book. Idecided to do the latter, and I believethat I have done the right thing." (Croc-odile, No. 38, October 194.2.)BOLSIfEVISM A~D HUMOROur readers will agree with us: ifthese are the funniest jokes to be foundnowadays in Soviet publications, they a.renot exactly that which one would expectfrom a comic paper. It might be saidthat it is entirely false to assume thatBolshevist publications contain humor.To some extent, this objection is correct.Bolshevist periodicals are indeed notallowed to print jokes against Bolshevism.But humor as such is not forbidden.Yet what a difference between Soviet~!l6 THE XXth CENTURY"Yes," replied Poroshkov."Have you got a heart?" With thesewords a man came dashing at him."That's great!" yelled the other. "Giveme your heart, 1"11 give you my tuber-culosis."only the abuse of it. Withinthese ]jmits there was anextensive literature of books,magazines, and humorousstories in newspapers. Onecould meet people who hadbecome rich as the authorsof this type of literature,u.s, for instance, the "TuI'Brothers," one of whosestories, written in the middlethirties, runs as follows.THE ADVENTURES OFCOMRADE POROSHKOYComrade Poroshkov hadnot been feeling well forsome time. He went tosee a doctor, who diagnoseda gastric complaint andurgently advised him to goto a sanatorium for gastricdiseases. Since PoroshkovVisitor to Government. oflico: Thoy say that you should was an excellent worker,he polit,o to your follow citizens. and you are getting he succeeded in gettingt,ough with mo. his name onto the list of pel'-Official: This is my lunch hour and I can do a8 I plea,sc. SOilS who were to be givenhumor today and, say, a decade ago. a place in a sana,torium in the summer.Imagine his dismay when, a week beforeBolshevist humor up to the out- his leave was to start, he received anbreak of the present war had es- assignment-a "little paper," as they saysentiaUy followed the traditional Russian in Russia-not for a sanatorium for gastrichumor, about which we spoke in connec- but for a sanatorium for nervous dis-tion with the translation of Zostchenko'sstories in our issue of October 1942. oases near Leningrad. His complaintsThose who have read the excellent met only with indignation: "What achoosy fellow! There's nothing availableworks of the great Russian humorists for stomach, take nerves. Or, if yousuch as Gogol or Tchekhov know that don't like it, we'll give it to Comradethese men were not concerned in their oblatkin , he's had his eye on it for a.humorous or satirical plays, fairy tales, long time. In any case, you can still goshort stories, and novels with evoking to Vetoshny Street."roars of laughter from their readers.Their a,illl was to ach.ieve definite social So Poroshkov took the little paper, andeffects by the comical exposure of bad that same a,fternooJl he strolled downconditions. Their humor always criti- Vetoshny Street. At first he thought hecized society. had gone crazy.This characteristic of Russian humorbecame even more apparent after theRevolution. Humor was supposed to ful-fill a social function in political andeconomic life. At the same time, Bol-shevism had limited humor to verynarrow field.s: it was never allowed toattack the system itself or its principles,BOLStU:V1ST "HUMOR" 297"Don't listen to him,'" another maninterrupted, "for heart I'll give you goutand a hundred rubles."Poroshkov was surrounded by a yellingmob. "Who haa a good lumbago~ Ioffer a coupon for an overcoat or liver.first cl888."-"Wbo wants mountain a.id"-"I have mineral baths!"It was a regular market. Three da,yslater Poroshkov felt already entirely athome in Vet08hny Street /l,nd knew aUthe quotations. He knew that heart wasquoted highest of all, that a little paperfor Sotchi on the Black Sea. was quotedat six to eight hundred rubles, and thattuberculosis was worth as much a.s lum-bago plus a hundred and fifty rubles.On the fifth day he succeeded in makingthe nooessary exchange, and he wentoff happily to his stomach sanatorium.Incidentally, he could have saved him-self all the troublc. After a thoroughexamination at thc sanatorium, the doctorsaid: "I don't know what you are doingin a sanatorium for gastric diseases,Comrade, you have a stomach like ahortle. But your nerves are in badshape, your nerves! You'd better clearout and 800 that you get into a nervesanatoriurn. "The story of Comrade Poroshkov istypical of this kind of critical humor.Although it is quite funny, it was writtennot 80 much in order to give the readera good laugh as to criticize the chaos towhich the overorganiza.tion of life, coupledwith inefficiency, had led in the SovietUnion.EVERYBODY'S E~ElIY-Bl'RE.~UCRACYI cannot recaLl ever having comeacross a "joke for the joko's sake" inRusaia. The ba is is always a certa.inevil. Many jokes are directed at one ofthe worst evils-bureaucracy, which leadsan existence divorced from reality andgravely endangering the life of the coun-try. In a 1934 number of the Crocodile,for instance, this bureaucracy was flayedby the following caricatures :In the first drawing there was a three-storey house, in the lowest Ooor of whichthe house committee was sitting in orderto decide on the repairs needed for thebuilding. In the second drawing-in themeantime winter had come-serious crfwkswere a,lready to be seen in the housewhile the house committee waa still sit-ting in earnest discussion. The onlychange there was that another manhappened to be speaking. The thirddrawing showed the moment at whichthe two upper floors collapsed, which,however, did not interfere in the leastwith the session of tho house committee.In the fourth drawing, trees had alreadygrown out of the nuns in whose shade afamily had comfortably established itself-while the houso committee continuedto sit indefatigably.PLAN~IKG LIFE :\~D D~o\THEven the "planning" craze was notspared ridicule. The paper of the SovietYouth Organization, the K0m8omol8kayaPravda, published the following satire,also in 1934:At the end of November, the Al'tists'Union sent out a questionnaire to theMoscow theaters concerning the percent-age of sicknes~s among persons carryinghealth insurance and to what extent theplan was being carried out. The lHithordescribes the conversation between thetheater manager and his secretary whilefilling out the questionnaire.Secretary: Let's write that the planprovides for ten sick persons a monthand that through united effort.s we hopesuccessfully to carry out the illness planfor ]934, and that we even hope perhapsto surpass it.Manager: And suppose we don't carryit out1 Then we'll both get hauled overthe coa.ls.Secretary: Wo'll ensily fill the quota,Comrade Manager. These last few weeksbefore New Year are the worst time forinfluenza. Just now at the rehearsaleverybody was coughing.M u7Ul!Jer (heavu a sigh of relief a.ndenters the figure. Then he reads oul thenext quutian) : Which sicknesses andhow many cases are planned for 1935~298 THE XXtb CENTURYWe cannot compare the black-marketjokes of the thirties with those of today,since we do not. know the latter. But ifwe oontrnAt. t.hA offiroinlly permitted joJroeof the period before the German-Sovietwa.r with those of tho laat fow montha Mprinted in the latest Soviet publications,we arrive at the following conclusion:War is a desperately serious affair,but even in war there are funny situa-tions and even soldiers facing death everyday like to laugh. If the leading Soviethumorous periodical in its last eightnumhers, which flooded the Soviet Unionand the front with 1.6 million copies,does not once rau e a hearty laugh-orany laugh at all-Crom its readers, themood within the Soviet Union must hegloomy indeed.pIl8t here; in three years there will ~forty."The peasant goes back home, and &meeting is called."Little Father Stalin," he says, "hasexplained it all to me. Here in ourvillage eleven cows died this year; inthree years, a htmdred and eleven willdie. That is Bolshevist tempo. Thisyear, four of our peasants died; in threeyears, forty will die. That's Bolshevisttempo, too."Or another example, which is directedat Stalin's boundless dictatorial arbitrar-iness:During the thirties, when Stalin hadalready suppressed aU opposition againsthim within the Bolshevist Party bybloody terror, the only person who stilldared now and again to speak her mindto him was Lenin's widow. Supportedby the prestige of being the widow ofthe almost deified first Bolahevist leader,she could alford to take more risks thananyone else. But one day Stalin lost hispatience and roared at her:"You old witch, if you don't shut upI shall appoint someone else to be Lenin's\\idow!"Secrelary: We could write that grippeis planned.Manager: But they want to have exactdata.The point is pa88ed over for the timebeing. The nut question is: Bow manypregn.ancies and birtM are pla.nn.ed for19351Suretary: That's easy, I'll ask aroundamong the actors and find out what'splanned in that respect.Manager (re.ad8 1text question): Howmany deaths are provided for in the planfor 19351Secrela.ry: Hm, that Petrovna womanseems to have very bad lungs.Manager: Not 80 bad at all. I sawher only yesterday.Secrelary: Well, of course we can'tcount on her for carrying out this year splan, but we can include hor in nextyear's . . .. Hm, who else is there?How about Uralov? He's boon on thestage fifty years; we could include himwith a clear conscience.And 80 on and 80 on . . . .THE BLACK MARKETBesides these 80 to speak officiallyquoted and admitted jo~es, there are, ofcourse, also innumerable jokes which areonly whispered from mouth to mouth, asort of black market. Here is an example:In an isolated hamlet the peasants aredllICWl~lllg lit", lIIeanlllg of u Wrm theyhave heard so often "Bolshevist tempo."As they cannot discover the meaning,they oecielA t.n Renel n repre cmtntivo toMoscow to 8tlO Stalin."Little Father Stalin," a ks the peas-ant, "what is the meaning of 'Bolshevisttempo'?"And Stalin takes him to the windowand ay: "Do you see the tramwayover there? Just now, eleven trams pll8Shere very hour; in three years thero willhe a hundred and eleven. You see, thatis Bolshevist tempo. Or that airplaneover there. Now four planes n. day fly• • •

Bolshevist "Humor"

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Bolshevist "Humor"

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