Introduction The purpose of this study was to explore communication with health care providers from the perceptions of parents before their child\u27s diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder and provide some examples of how communication may contribute to the autism diagnosis. Method This study used a qualitative descriptive design with multiple individual structured in-person interviews. Results Three themes captured parents’ (n = 8) descriptions of the phases of communication during their children\u27s diagnoses including, (1) anguished questioning, (2) urgently seeking help, and (3) expecting a diagnosis. In addition, three themes characterized the communication style that parents needed, although not always received, in each of the periods of diagnosis including (1) compassionate curiosity, (2) acknowledgment and affirmation, and (3) engagement with parents. Discussion Results point to opportunities for pediatric providers to use a more empathic and engaging communication style during the diagnostic process with better identification of education and support needed by parents and families