Schmersal, Cindy

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Conversations on Jesuit Higher EducationVolume 51 Article 21February 2017An Avenue to Transformation: Five Attributes ofFruitful ConversationCindy SchmersalFollow this and additional works at: http://epublications.marquette.edu/conversationsRecommended CitationSchmersal, Cindy (2017) "An Avenue to Transformation: Five Attributes of Fruitful Conversation," Conversations on Jesuit HigherEducation: Vol. 51 , Article 21.Available at: http://epublications.marquette.edu/conversations/vol51/iss1/21“It should be presupposed that every goodChristian ought to be more eager to put agood interpretation on a neighbor’s state-ment than to condemn it.”Saint Ignatius (Sp.Ex. 22)As educators, we frequently invite students to em-brace discomfort, an invitation evidenced in service-immersion experiences, challenging new ideasintroduced in the classroom, and encounters with oth-ers whose realities and worldviews differ from theirown. We encourage such discomfort knowing that itproves fertile ground for transformation, an essentialaim of Jesuit education.       We are likewise called to continually invite our owntransformation, to embrace discomfort and welcome thegrowth it promises. In my experience, such discomfortis most readily present in the difficult exchanges that arean unavoidable aspect of my ministry. Accompanyingstudents as they navigate life’s messiness, engaging withcolleagues whose perspectives and preferences on howto proceed differ from my own, and managing a depart-ment all present endless opportunities to grapple withdiscomfort and to engage with others in honesty, humil-ity, and vulnerability.        I am a quintessential nine on the personality de-scribing Enneagram – “the peacemaker.” Admittedly,my instinctual reaction to conflict is often to withdraw,ignoring it in the hopes that it may magically resolveitself. (Spoiler alert: it does not.) I do not willingly wel-come challenging encounters. Perhaps you can relate.When faced with such circumstances, I frequentlyhave to remind myself to embrace the discomfort it of-fers, knowing that past experience has proven it aspace in which God’s grace and my resultant growthcan abound.        In approaching difficult encounters, I am encour-aged by the wisdom of St. Ignatius of Loyola. In the pre-supposition of the Spiritual Exercises, he offers the di-rector guidance on how to approach the directee’s shar-ing, guidance that can inform our own engagement withothers in challenging conversations. He writes:It should be presupposed that every goodChristian ought to be more eager to put a goodinterpretation on a neighbor’s statement thanto condemn it. Further, if one cannot interpretit favorably, one should ask how the othermeans it. If that meaning is wrong, one shouldcorrect the person with love; and if this is notenough, one should search out every appro-priate means through which, by understand-ing the statement in a good way, it may besaved. (Sp.Ex. 22)       In short, he advises to first and foremost assumethe best, to inquire further as necessary, and always toengage with love.       From this presupposition, the Rockhurst Univer-sity Office of Mission and Ministry derived five attrib-utes that mark a fruitful Ignatian conversation. I sharethese attributes knowing the value they continue tooffer me in my ministry and in the hope that they maybenefit the difficult conversations that are an inevitableaspect of the work of each of us.Be slow to speak. In the most difficult of conversa-tions, it is often easy to be overly reactionary, allowinghurt, anger, or frustration to fuel my approach. Andso, I am reminded to pause, even if only momentarily,and to invite the Spirit’s guidance and wisdom beforeengaging the conversation.                                                                                                                                                                                                               39N0 N5r04r 3A h1902sA1u93tA0Five Attributes of Fruitful ConversationBy Cindy Schmersal1Schmersal: An Avenue to Transformation: Five Attributes of Fruitful ConversaPublished by e-Publications@Marquette, 2017. / 	/                                                                                                                                          As the news went out of the deathof the Jesuits’ former superior gen-eral, Fr. Peter-Hans Kolvenbach, onNovember 26, 2016, in Beirut, Je-suits and others who had knownhim began to reflect with gratitudeon his legacy. Elected superiorgeneral on September 13, 1983,during a time of marked tension inthe Society’s relationship with theVatican, he went on to serve in thatoffice for over 24 years with quietdignity and grace, with skillfuldiplomacy and competence. In2006 he announced his desire toresign from that office as he ap-proached his 80th birthday, and onJanuary 8, 2008, the Jesuits’ Thirty-Fifth General Congregation ac-cepted his resignation.       Such a bare outline hardly be-gins to hint at what he did for theJesuit world, and particularly theworld of Jesuit education. He wasan educator. He held a doctoratein theology from the Université deSaint-Joseph in Beirut, Lebanon.He became an expert in generallinguistics and in Armenian. Hetaught in Beirut and also in TheHague and in Paris. In 1981 he be-came rector of the Pontifical Orien-tal Institute in Rome.      As superior general he had agreat impact on Jesuit educationand on how schools relate today tothe Jesuit history, spirit, and gover-nance. In 1989, he addressed As-sembly ’89, the meeting of 800Jesuits and lay collaborators inhigher education held at George-town to celebrate its bicentenary asthe first Jesuit school in the UnitedStates. First, he noted the signifi-cance of the occasion: “This is anhistoric occasion: the first assemblyof Jesuits from the entire spectrumof activities at all United States Je-suit institutions of higher education.”      And he continued: “The talentand dedication assembled in thisroom is potentially a massive re-source for building the Kingdom ofWe Remember a Great EducatorPeter-Hans Kolvenbach, S.J., 1928-2016By Edward W. Schmidt, S.J.Listen attentively. Defensiveness,while an easily adopted defaultstance, often inhibits genuine lis-tening and true conversation. At-tentive listening requires myvulnerability, my full presence andsincere openness to the other.Seek the truth in what others aresaying. No matter how fully I maywish it were otherwise at times, I amnot the keeper of all truth. Every dif-ficult conversation holds the poten-tial to teach me something,something about the topic at hand,about the other, and, undoubtedly,about myself. I strive to learn.Disagree humbly, respectfully,and thoughtfully. While not thekeeper of all truth, as a sharer in theconversation, it is incumbent uponme to speak my truth in love withhumility and respect.Allow the conversation the time itneeds. Resolution is not alwaysreadily apparent or feasible. Someconversations simply take time,leaving me to trust, as Jesuit Teil-hard de Chardin advises, “in theslow work of God.”       As we engage the difficult con-versations that are components ofour life and work, may we strive todo so guided by the above attributesand always rooted in an approachthat assumes the best of the other andseeks the good of all. In so doing,may we readily welcome discomfort,embracing it as an avenue to thetransformation we seek as compan-ions in Jesuit higher education. Cindy Schmersal is the director ofcampus ministry at Rockhurst University in Kansas City, Missouri.2Conversations on Jesuit Higher Education, Vol. 51, Iss. 1 [2017], Art. 21http://epublications.marquette.edu/conversations/vol51/iss1/21

An Avenue to Transformation: Five Attributes of Fruitful Conversation

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An Avenue to Transformation: Five Attributes of Fruitful Conversation

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