Jenkins, Connie

English

Digital Commons @ Butler University

44 MANUSCRIPTSThey're above hell or heaven and follow their precious deityeven after death."Speaking of independence," I said. "Number 500 wascertainly above mingling with the rest of the group.""Oh, yes," replied my friend. "Ever since a fellow namedDarwin wrote a theory, 500 has been absolutely insufferable.He thinks that he is a world in himself, separable from allother 'numbers'.""N umber 900 was a handsome fellow," I observed."He's no better than the rest of UIS," the old mand responded."You mortals have just habited him in such finery that he seemsto be much more magnificent than he actually is.""And who are you?" I finally inquired."I'm a little bit of all of them," he mused. "I'm 900stripped of all his gilded superfluities. I'm 800 stripped of hisvanity and precision. I'm 200 stripped of his fanaticism; andlike 500, I give knowledge; but unlike him, I aliso give wisdom."With that he turned and departed, and I saw that his numberwas 100.The bell rang, and I rose to go to my last class of thesemester, greatly relieved of the mental confusion which haddriven me to that secluded spot. Needless to say, from thattime on I have never regarded a card catalogue as a dull andcolorless object. <.: § § § §On Losing One's IllusionsConnie JenkinsEveryone has probably lost an illtrsion at least once beforehe leaves college, and it is probable that colleae itself is amajor cause of disillusionment. Take the case of the brilliantEnglish student who graduates from high school with nothinglower than an A on his written work. Small wonder, though;anyone who cannot write an adequate paper on "My FavoriteSport" or "The Best Movie I Have Ever Seen" must be a firstclass moron. N ever th eles s, the would be genius thinks to himself,"College will be a cinch."His first disillusionment comes during the first week ofschool, when his English professor, with a wicked gleam in hereyes, announces the topic for theme number one: "Why ReadingShakespeare is Preferable to All Other Forms of Recreation.""But is it?" the 'student wonders, as he sits waiting for inspira-tion to come or possibly praying for a bolt of Jightlling tostrike him dead before the papers are collected.MANUSCRIPTS45"History should be easy, though," he decides; "I'll bet noone else in the class will be able to recite Lincoln's 'GettysburgAddress' from memory." Poor fellow, he'll never know. Assign-ment for tomorrow,' says the professor: "I want a fifty pagediscussion on why an autociphalous form of government ispreferable to a democracy.' "It's not," the student decides anddismisses the professor as a radical.Chemistry comes next. "Problem number one: discuss therelationship e~isting b,etween auric ovide and the combustibilityof a cornbinatin-, H2S04 and any unknown solution." Oh, forthe good old days of heating soda water over a Bunsen burner!Nothing is left now but gym, and the student approachesthe Fieldhouse with a sinking heart. The instructor looks likethe "after taking" part of a vitamin advertisement. "Just a fewsimple exercises at first," he says with a fiendish grin."Very simple," the student agree's, "like piCking yourselfup by the neck and holding yourself at arm's length." As theinstructor demonstrates the exercise, the student begins towonder how a contortionist happened to be teaching school.Social life is probably his major disillu'sionment. He hadheard all about it from big brother and sister: a dance everyweekend, with lots of parties in between, augmented by agenerous amount of picnics and hayrides. But by the time hehas finished his history paper, his chemistry problems, hisEnglish essay, and his French translation, he is too tired anddiscouraged for anything but bed. He wonders wearily howcollege students find time for all the recreation he had heardabout, and which he had always had time for in the good olddays, B.C. (Before College). Like Petruchio, he asks himself,"Where is the life that late I led?"But a lost illusion is not always disillusionment. After a !ewweeks he begins to lose hi'Sscared-rabbit attitude, and he realizesthat his professors are interested in him as an individual ~ndnot just as "the queer person who sits in the front row and biteshis fingernails .." He discovers, too, that most of them have a'sense of humor, contrary to his first impression of college prof~s-sors. And gradually he finds time for a mmrmum of social hfe,on the assumption that all work and no play makes Jack a dullboy. So out of the chaos in his frustrated mind finally co~esorder, and he discovers that even the dark cloud of studyingcan have a silver lining of pure fun.

On Losing One\u27s Illusions

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On Losing One\u27s Illusions

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