Mailman, Leo

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mistress would be willing to satiate my animal urges.The irony is that women friends tell me horror stories of endless hornyness and husbands flacidly snoring away the night. I yearn to help them, ease the edge off their 'blue clit' ache.But my wife says that god is punishing us both —  she to be forever tormented by a horn-dog man to appease her Irish Catholic guilt and me forever cursed by a woman whose libido is lost in a time twat and whose lament can be heard in Garboesqueness late at night, "I vont to be alone."She's only partially right. Another part of the Victorian woman loves to be endlessly pursued and caught and taken under protest. But we're both too Victorian to admit it.THE ALL-PURPOSE STOMACHPutting food into it is the least of its talents.It's a comfort to the wife and kids.A babysitter.A lover.The kids climb on its imposing mountainousness (while Dad sleeps on the couch) in one wild fling before bedtime.The wife has so much more than love handles. It's a steel-belted radial 500 that runs her over with love.And food.Dad tries but the stomach has its own garden now right in the backyard ... zucchini, beans, carrots, pumpkins, and fresh strawberries, blueberries, etc., all growing within the length of a colon ... Dad resists, but home-baked breads, cakes, pies, season after season, a stomach for all seasons.Dad says, "It's genetic —  my stomach runs in the family," or "I'm doing more exercises now so I'll firm it up soon."But then hot, fat blueberry muffins and108strawberry-rhubarb pie with whipped cream and a big batch of oatmeal-raisin cookies or tollhouse chocolate chip ... and the stomach does firm up, round and full and content and securely protruding from the family album.—  Leo MailmanCape Elizabeth MEPEPPERS:ON A NEWSPAPER REVIEW OF A ROBERT ALTMAN FILM: "THREE WOMEN" MORELIA MARKET, MEXICOPeppers green, peppers red, peppers bluepeppers peppers peppers everywherehide me, I scream, I can't get away from peppersjalapeno peppers, little deadly peppers, ground pepperspeppers black, peppers that make you sneezethe pepper that ate Tokyopeppers that make you swallow your teethpeppers bell, superpepper, the pepper from outer spacepeppers as harmless as mushroomsbehind every great man is a good pepperpeppers that will make your car battery sing with volts peppers that will strip the chrome off your bumpers peppers that will melt the fillings in your teeth peppers in my chorizo, peppers in my eggs cream and sugar in your coffee, senor, or peppers chili peppers and doctor peppers peppers in my curried chicken peppers on peppersthe day of the peppers, pepper uppers, pepper treespeppers eating out a whole new stomachpeppers between my teetha girl named Pepperpeppers that sank a thousand shipsI admit that the flies don't like themand they keep the meat from rottingand they don't stink like onions and garlicbut they are in the restaurants on the table, pickled andsmilinglike there is nothing to worry about I order something safeand some sadist in the back of the kitchenis salting my waffles with peppersthey come floating with bananas in my cornflakesthey sit like gate-crashers on the edge of my plate109

The All-Purpose Stomach

https://ddd.uab.cat/pub/wormwood/wormwood_a1987v27n4i108/wormwood_a1987v27n4i108p108.pdf

The All-Purpose Stomach

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