Pfeiffer, Jane

Digital Commons @ Butler University

MAGAZINE 17 naturedly. "You deserve more. A great deal more. As I can't give it, I'll leave tomorrow. No ordinary woman can support herself on your tiny income. By the way-." Tak-ing release indifferently, the gent-leman leaned on the door, swaying idly. He noted the gas jet airily blue, from behind his extended glass. The wine, his wine, gave this crippleld flame life. The ga1s in turn. aided its vulgar employer to ch:eat others. Both fed as parasites. They were better off dead. ' An archway hid the man's features. He had stood there during the whole interview, politely attentive. "By the way," he pur·sued, rather keenly, "there's a really unimportant affair about some wine. Let's step down the hall a way and discuss it." Together they moved along the bare floor. Enmity was non-exis-tent. Having neared a broom closet, the man stopped. His housekeeper drew up also, wondering why he glanced about so often, why he ask-ed where everyone was tonight. She was sorry, now, he must leave. The poor, lonely chap would miss the few friends who tolerated his unsocial behavior. Was she right in pitying him, a far away idea nudgeld. Gas light made him look an evil cat minus whiskers; and his eyes were queer. * * * * * Back in his kitchen, the occupant of Room 2 set the door ajar. The place was still unlighted, save for an infirm street reflection. Singing an operatic measure, the man let up hi1s shade. Happy when he thought of the fresh wine he had secured, yet remorseful at the sight of a de-serted neighborhood, he weighe!d his glass. Upon this occasion, company would be welcome. Good, that wine appeared! Ripe and hearty and thick. The lamplight saw him drink it, blinked down when it saw the sticky red wine coagulate on his lips and turn brown. A hall gas flame could not blink back; it was out. Pie-Eyed Jane Pfeiffer It's the funniest darn thing I ever saw, the way Flossie and Fanny Widgett haven't gotten over their old fight yet. Why good grief, every one in town likes Fanny and every one in town ·likes Flossie, but they still won't even look at each other. After all, they're twins and they're gettin' up in years-sixty-five if they're a day; yet you don't hear a peep out of 'em. They just act like the other one wasn't around. My husband used to kid 'cm a lot when they were younger. Fanny would come a walkin' pa•st the store, petticoats a swishin,' her long nose lookin' like a blue steel razor blade, and Gus would say,"'Why hello there, Flossie. My, but you're lookin' purty today," and Fanny would say just like drippin' icicles, "Mr. Guss-meyer, I am Fanny. Pray don't sug-gest that I resemble that hypocriti-cal sister of mine." Then she'd give her bustle a flip and sail on. Lordy, but Gus would nearly die a laughin.' Well, they have been entertainin' the town like that ever since they had their split about-let me see-thirty years ago. That's the longest time to stay mad I ever heard of. You see the trouble is they're just alike and neither one will be the fil'st to give in. They've always done everything just the same ever since they were kids. Dressed alike,. talked alike, and looked alike, but fireworks •sure broke loose when they both took a hankerin' for the same man. Sam Blake was his name and even though he wasn't much, they both went crazy tryin' to get him serious about them. If you want my opinion, it was because he was the first new male to come to town since they were too young to pay any attention to such things. What added to the trouble was that both Fanny and 18 THE MSS Flossie were thirty when they met Sam and they knew that Sam was their last chance. Every one in town marrie!d or unmarried knew them. Fanny and Flossie always said that if they could only go to another place where everybody didn't know who they were, they'd show the !tronger sex a thing or two. "Yes-!iree," they said, "we'd snatch our-selves a husband quicker than a cat." A!s I said before, they did every-think alike. And one thing they were good at was bakin.' They could make the most gorgeous lemon mer-ingue pies you ever saw. The lemon was as gold as butter and the mer-ingue was always heaped in snowy sparkling mounds on top. Why, Gus used to say and 1still swears, that when he eats a Widgett pie he can't see who's sittin' across the table from him, the dang pie is so thick. Folks say that it was those pies that started the who.le thing, 'cause Sam Blake wouldn't even have looked at them if it hadn't been for the pies. But that's where fate came in. There was somethin' inborn in Sam that just naturally cried out to lemon pies. I 'spect, too, he liked home-coo'ked food more'n most people 'cause he travelled all the time. Sam was about forty and he had been a travelin' man for years, that's prob-ably why he went to the home-baked ,pie social that night that the Metho-dist church gives every year. We gir11s always got excited about the pie social 'cause they always give a prize for the best pie and after the contest is over you can give it to the man you like best, so you see that makes it kind of romantic. Well, the minute, the very second that Sam walked in the door, he headed straight for Fanny and Flos-!ie'! table. And I'm tellin' you I've never seen two girls in more of a dither. They liked to died when they saw. that nice lookin' fellow 1tridin' toward . them, smilin' real broad, with a hungry look in hi1s eye. They were both flutterin' their hands and smirkin' and tryin' their level best to look pretty. And, the longer Sam looked at those pies the miore he •smiled and the hungrier he looked. Well, we all nearly fainted when by accident, or on purpose, none of us have been able to figure out Fannie knocked Flossie's pie on the floor. It dijdn't make much of a sound, it just kind of oozed out of the pan. Lordy, it was so quiet in that ·room then that you could almost hear it oozin.' Fanny started to giggle 'cause 'she thought right away, well there's no doubt about who'8 goin' to have Sam now. But, she sure, stopped gigglin' when she looked up at Flossie. Flossie was madder 'an a peacock that's lost his tail feathers. Her face was white and you couldn't even see her mouth it was pressed so tight; and her flat bony chest was risi~' and fallin' like a barometer in a ty-phoon. I bet all 1she could think of was that her sister had ruined her pie on purpose and that now she'd lost the only man she'd ever have. We were scared, Flo1ssie was so mad. The two sisters were just standin' there lookin' at each other wl}en, all of a sudden I saw Flossie's hand reach down on the table and pick up that other lemon pie, and be-fore any one knew what was happen-ing she threw that pie with all the strength she had, right in the direc-tion of Fanny's mid-'section. The horrible part was that Sam Blake was •stan!din' righ_t next to Fanny, and when she saw that pie come flyin' through the air she ducked. Well, you can understand now why Flossie and Fanny Widgett haven't spoken to each other since that night. Sam was madder 'an hops at first but he saw the funny side after a while and he still tells the story about the two old maids who thought he looked so hungry for pie that they even gave him a bath in it. 

Pie-Eyed

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Pie-Eyed

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