Robbins, Jennifer

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3Arizona Quartersby Jennifer RobbinsWe all sat around a dull white kitchen tablewith fading gold specks trapped under a glossycoating. In the middle of the table was a hexago-nal juice glass, just tall enough that you had tohave a good bounce on your quarter to make thatclinking sound on the clear bottom when youshot.We loved playing quarters, my brother'sfriends and I. I liked how they didn't care thatthey were all twenty and I was only fifteen. Wesat in Boo-Boo's kitchen in the hot desert sum-mers of Arizona with jugs of wine that we drank injuice glasses like the one in the middle.Boo-Boo was my brother's best friend. Theywere both waiters at the Whaling Station restau-rant with their other friend Ranger Smith. That'swhere they all met. Everyone was alwaysteasing them about the similarity of their names,(Jim, Jack, and John) so that night while we wereplaying quarters, we came up with nicknames forthem. My brother Jim was donned "Yogey"(actually inspired by a love for frozen yogurtrather than the bear) and the nicknames "Boo-Boo" for Jack and "Ranger Smith" for John sort offell in line.My best memories of summer were those inthat Jellystone world in the heart of Scottsdale,only dried out Saguaros lined our forest insteadof towering pines, a river-bottom rock yardreplaced the carpets of green grass, and the dryheat of the sun replaced the cartoon blue skies,but I didn't mind.I was one of the "snowbirds" from the northwho came to the desert, like the seasonal migra-tion of birds, to escape the humidity and mosqui-tos. Every summer I flew out to Arizona to spendsome time with my mother and Yogey. When myparents divorced, they split custody of my brotherand I so half of my childhood life was spent flyingacross the country and back. It wasn't seeing mymother though that I looked forward to the most-it was hanging out with Yogey and his friends.Boo-Boo's kitchen was always cool in thesummer, with the windows closed tight to keepthe air-conditioning in, and the heavy beigecurtains in front of the sliding patio doors werealways drawn tight to keep out the sun. That iswhy we always met at Boo-Boo's house; andbecause his parents would always let us crashover there-€veryone on the floor of the livingroom, lulled to sleep by the hum of the TV that noone watched.In the morning we would sit around the whitetable with our bare feet dangling on the coolyellowing linoleum, while Boo-Boo's sister Karriecooked omelettes with Velvetta cheese oozing outthe sides and flakes of pepper speckled on top.Sometimes Boo-Boo and I would pick up the trashscattered about the house while we waited, butmostly we just moved the cans and bottles to oneside of the table so we could have a place for ourplates.My brother and his friends were really close.Sometimes during the day when my mom and step-father were at work, they would all come over to ourhouse and swim in the pool. Karrie in her leopardprint bikini, and I, in my navy and white speedo,would lay in the orange and white nylon chaiselounges next to the pool and watch the guys docannon balls off the diving board. I would watch mybrother as he glided back and forth across the deepend, avoiding the waves of water his friends pushedat each other. My eyes trailed his body as hedodged the waves, cutting through the silvery wateras he torpedoed for the drain. I always wonderedhow he could stay down on the bottom so long.When it came to quarters, my brother was byfar, the best shooter; even when he'd had a lot todrink. He placed the juice glass in front of him,several inches from his raised shooting hand. Helowered his head in a parallel line with the target.He brought his hand down and hit the table with theside of his fist, releasing the coin from his fingersso that the ribbed edge hit the table at the sametime as his hand. The silver disk sparked upwardsinto an arch and rimmed the bottom of the glass.He raised his gaze, but not his head, looking for hisvictim. Catching one of the female's eyes, hesmiled. Consume, he said.Sometimes when my brother had to go to workand I had the house all to myself, I would slip intomy speedo, grab my white beach towel and spendthe whole day engraving white criss-cross marks onmy back. The pool wasn't refreshing like you wouldthink. It was hot, like swimming in a large bathtub.Sometimes the water would get up to 90 degrees,and it made my body feel heavy as I tried to prac-FALL 19904tice my breaststroke. I usually gave up andresorted to floating on our fading red plastic raft. Itis bad to fall asleep in the sun, but I couldn't helpit. The sun was so warm; the waves rocking theraft until slowly there would be no movementaround me but a quiet buzz of the black Chinesebeetles crawling in the shade of our Oleanders./One night when we played quarters at Boo-Boo's house, Boo-Boo and I stayed up aftereveryone had gone to bed. The TV flickered andthe flash of colored lights made the dark cherrywood furniture pop in and out of view. I sat on thecouch with a white afgan on my lap. The air-conditioning whirred and blew on my feet hangingover the edge of the coffee table. Boo-Boo satnext to me on the couch and we talked about thesummer. His hand felt coolon my face. The lightscast shadowy blue on his face and highlighted hischeek bones and razor stubble. His eyes hid incaves-dark and sallow. His hand moved down mycheek and along the hollow of my neck, tracing thecollar of my shirt. He didn't say anything. He ranhis fingers through my sun-bleached hair andpulled my towards him. I leaned to kiss him,closing my eyes. His lips felt smooth and wet andtasted bittersweet from the wine. We stayed upfor a little while longer messing around on thecouch. The afgan had slipped to the floor. Anempty beer can clattered across the table and fellonto the carpet.Whenever Yogey and I had to stay home, wewould sit in his room and read Mad. magazines.We didn't like to watch TV because then we'dhave to sit in the living room with our mother andstepfather. So we just sat in his room instead.Sometimes he would let me listen to my tapes onhis stereo but Olivia Newton-John wasn't his style.Instead we'd listen to "Black Sabbath" or "LedZepplin." I guess his music was okay sometimes.We could barely hear the two out in the living roomfighting over the loud rock music.Boo-Boo didn't drink for his twenty-firstbirthday. During the fall while I'd been at mydad's, Boo-Boo had started dating a Mormon girlwho didn't believe in drinking. We all met at hishouse for a celebratory game of quarters. Weshared a fifth of whiskey and just passed the bottlearound when it was sorneone's turn to drink. Allexcept Boo-Boo and his girlfriend. She sat in hislap with her Clairol streaked hair tied-up in a pony-tail and squinted at everyone. The only time shesmiled was when Boo-Boo announced theirengagement. Karrie dropped the bottle of whiskyon the floor. I just stared down at the brown liquidMANUSCRIPTSas it wound its way around the shattered glass anddribbled across the floor along the pattern in thelinoleum.I hated whenever my step-father came homebefore my mother. I was in the living room watch-ing TV when I heard the kitchen door open. Ilooked around the room-it was a wreck. I quicklygathered up the laundry I was folding and startedto carry it back to my bedroom. As I passed theentryway to the kitchen I saw my stepfather puttinghis usual case of beer in the refrigerator. I hurriedto my room and shut the door. I sat down on mybed an listened as he yelled about the dishes inthe sink, the lint on the living room carpet, and thetowels left out by the pool. I looked at my clock-no one would be home for another hour. I laiddown on my bed and stared at the mustard flowerprint wall-paper. The little flowers began to floatbefore my eyes. I could hear the TV in the livingroom, he must have turned the volume really loud.I rolled on my side and put my pillow over myhead. When I woke up it was after seven and mymom was home. I could hear my step-fatheryelling about dinner and the dishes. A doorslammed. The TV was still blaring. Yogeyknocked on my door and then walked into theroom. He handed me a magazine.Karrie threw a surprise party at their house forBoo-Boo's twenty-second birthday. Boo-Boodidn't date the Mormon anymore. We all sataround the whit kitchen table and played quarterswith two bottles of Jack Daniels to celebrate.I woke up one morning about a quarter past11. Everyone had left while I was asleep so thehouse was still, except for the whirr of the refrig-erator in the kitchen and an occasional rumblefrom the ice-maker. The sun was shining brightthrough the dining room windows that looked outacross the pool. I put on my speedo and headedfor the pool. I put the raft into the water and laidback, watching the clouds melt into one anotherfrom the heat. I could hear children at play out inthe street. The hollow clatter of tin on the pave-ment filled the silences between their laughter. Iwas almost asleep when I heard a car door openand close. Through the windows I saw my brotherenter the kitchen. Yogey was still in his waiter'sjacket, but the front of his soiled white shirt washalf-unbuttoned and his tie was missing. Igrabbeda towel and went inside to see why he was homeso early. He told me he had been fired for stealingalcohol from the bar. The restaurant had call mystepfather. It wasn't long before he was home.Yogey hadn't even changed his clothes yet whenmy stepfather walked into his bedroom. He andYogey began to fight. I ran to my room andslammed my door. Suddenly I heard Yogey's doorslam. I opened my door, but I didn't know what todo. I felt like screaming but nothing would comeout-then my stepfather opened Yogey's door andwent to watch t.v. in the living room. I ran intoYogey's room and found him lying down on thefloor. His hand was covering a red swollen cheek.I sat down beside him and cradled his head in mylap; just rocking back and forth until we both fellasleep.The summer of Boo-Boo's twenty-third birth-day, his parents put in a pool. After a game ofquarters, we would move the party outside and tryto build human pyramids in the pool. I was adiver on my high school team so one night theyasked me to do some dives. I decided to do aninward where you jump backwards then divetowards the board. Their board wasn't a springboard, though, and I scraped my back on the endof the board. My back stung from the chlorine inthe water. I screamed. Blood was floating in thepool. Karrie screamed. Boo-Boo looked at myback as I was climbing out of the pool. It's only ascratch, he said. So we kept on swimming. I stillhave the scar.It was about 8 o'clock in the evening andYogey and I were in his room playing Dungeonand Dragons when the doorbell rang. Yogey'swindow faced the front door so he glancedthrough the shades to see who it was. His eyeslooked funny as he looked at me. He jumped upand ran out of his room. I tried to see out thewindow to see who it was, but they must havestepped into the doorway. I could hear my motherand stepfather arguing with someone in the nextroom so I went out to see who it was. "Go to yourroom!" my stepfather shouted. Yogey was trying toget past my stepfather to see who was at the door.My stepfather kept saying to the person somethingabout not belonging here and he asked them toleave. Yogey finally stopped fighting with mystepfather and grabbed my arm and dragged meout the back door. He began running to the gatethat led to the front of the house. I was watchinghim wrestle with the iron latch. He began hitting itand cussing, but he couldn't get it open. I ran overto help him, but I could barely see the latch in the5dark. Yogey began pounding at the fence. Tearsbegan to streak his face. He stopped and rubbedhis splintered fists and then started kicking thewooden boards of the gate. Finally, the gatebroke away from the latch and he grabbed myhand and began running around to the front door.As we got to the driveway we saw a rental carpulling out onto the street. Yogey ran after thecar, but the driver didn't see him. I stood in thedriveway and watched as Yogey crumpled into alittle ball on the curb and sobbed. I walked over tohim and sat down. "It was dad-It was dad," hekept saying over and over. "Don't you get it, he'dcome to see us." He had been on his way backfrom a trip to California and had come to surpriseus, but my stepfather wouldn't let us go. I sat andlistened to Yogey as he finally stopped crying. Itwas a clear night. A little breeze was blowingthrough the Oleanders and the crickets werecalling to their mates. Somewhere a dog wasbarking to be let in for the night.My dad didn't let me visit my mom after thatsummer. After a couple of years I didn't careanymore anyway. Karrie and her family hadmoved to Washington. Boo-Boo had gotten backtogether with the Mormon girl and was living withher in an apartment in the same complex asYogey. Yogey lives with his girlfriend becauseshe has lots of money and pays all of his bills. Heonly came to visit me once at my dad's. He toldme his girHriend had paid to send him to cocaine-rehab for six months. I didn't tell my family though.They never knew he did cocaine-they neverreally cared either.I sat in the lounge of Hogan's grill with acouple of my college friends and nursed a TomCollins. I wasn't really listening to what they weresaying-something about a dance or a partyprobably. I was thinking about my past life andwhat this summer had in store for me. I had met agreat guy and he wanted to marry me. He hadn'tknown me very long-but he didn't care. Hedoesn't know about me, but I've told myself I'mgoing to tell him as soon as I quit. I'm going to quitbefore we get married. I swear I really am. Ihanded the waitress my empty glasses andordered another Tom Collins-one more won'thurt.FALL 1990

Arizona Quarters

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Arizona Quarters

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