Shepard, Kenny

English

Digital Commons @ Butler University

Evan's WorldBy Kenny ShepardEvan'swhite teeth matched the miniature police badge hewore on his t-shirt,He loved playing cops and robbers in his long yard stretching along his mothersdriveway. The hot, black top was the perfect place for a chase scene and the ivycrawling along the asphalt made the nastiest of crashes comfortable. Althoughsurrounded by dozens of neighborhood children, Evan was always left to createhis own solitary games. Three doors down while the other Campbell Street seven-year-olds now congregated for a kickball game, Evan remained uninvited, athome, in his own circle of imaginary playmates.Lined up neatly along the drive were blow-up clowns and cartoon villainspunch bags. Evan's playmates for the day were perfect, punchable targets for histiny fist or bicycle tire. After they had been physically punished for their crimes,the inflatable bad guys were hauled off to the dark jail cell conveniently locatedin Evan's garage. Here, they would serve a life sentence for at least ten minutesbefore Evan would proclaim them escaped.Evan's mother, Katy, leaned against the kitchen window watching her SOil.She giggled, noticing his starch white hairstanding on end like a porcupine; then,hereyeswatered watching Evan slug an imaginary culprit in the face. Asthe Jokerpunching bag bobbed against the ivy, Evan turned to face the window abruptly.The distance between the Joker and Evan's mother was 10nSt but Evan squintedto see her watery eyes. Somehow,he knew she'd be watching; she always seemedto be around whenheneeded her: for affection, for a hug.or in this case, fora quickround of applause.Evan saw his mothers hands clap together behind the window. Her round,pale face was framed by stained glass fruit: a red apple, purple grapes.and a brightorange Evan had bought for her birthday last year. As Evan squinted further, henoticed his mother motioning him to come closer. Then, as he obeyed, she heldup his favorite Saturday afternoon lunch: peanut butter,apricot jam,and bananasandwich, potato chips, and cherry-cola. Evan could barely see the bread frombehind the mountain ofrippled chips, but he knew his favorite meal was waitingfor him.Katy arose with the Sunday morning sunshine. Since her husband hadmoved out two years ago, she had only one breakfast to prepare besides her own.With toast toasting, and orange juice resting on the table, Katy climbed the stairsto awaken her son. She puckered hard and smooched Evan on his white cheek;then, she stayed close to his face. When his eyelids opened, they revealed blueeyes with sleep in the corners. When they focused on Katy's eyes, she knew he38••••••••••••••••••••• manuscriptswas awake. She quietly whispered, "Breakfast," as if Evan needed a reminder toeat; he was always hungry.With breakfast gone, Evan dressed for church. He hated to go, but trusted hismother that someday, he'd be happy he'd gone.Evan's only enjoyment from the service was the "pre-show" activities. Asusual,at fifteen minutes before the service began,Katy and Evan strolled hand inhand to the front pew. Here, Evan smelled the sweet fragrance of freshly cut roses.The Church's auxiliary chose the pulpit flower of the day each week, and Evanloved to second-guess them. Unlike other church-goers, Evan's least favoriteservice was Christmas. Undoubtedly, the auxiliary would chose odorless poin-settias forthis annual service. At least on Easter, the women chose bright lilies forthe day. They had more aroma than the Christmas flower, but they were big,bright, and had little stems peeking out at Evan's front row seat.As the robe-dad minister approached the pulpit, organ musicplayed,and thechoir from the back of the church began their procession to the altar. As thesingers brushed past Evan, he jumped; every week they startled him. Every weekKaty clutched his tiny hand harder. A few minutes into the service Katy nudgedEvan dozing next to her. When his eyes opened, he tried to pay attention to whatMinister Howe was saying; soon, however, his eyes turned to every otherdirection of the church. He noticed the pastel hats on the old Charton sisters, thenew cream colored dress Mrs. Wade was wearing, and the fancy gold-embossedlettering on the bald man's Bible behind him.After surveying the worshipers, Evan felt his mother squeezing his hand. Itwas now time forthe children to go to their Sunday-school lesson, while MinisterHowe gave the weekly sermon. Simultaneously, Katy and Evan's eyes met, andwithout communicating, they understood each other. Again, Evan's head turned,this time to watch the boys and girls scurrying to the classes. The older childrenclutched Bibles in their hands, while the younger ones carried colored paper,crayons, and markers. Asa red-headed boy about Evan's age passed the frontpew,his huge Crayola box of crayons caught Evan's eye. Evan always wondered whatall the boys and girls made whenever they brought their supplies with them.Following these Sundays, he was unusually eager to arrive at the church's lobbyto see the bulletin board displaying all of their colorful creations.Now, as his eyes focused on the tiny sharpener on the crayon box headed forthe archway, Katy's grip loosened; Evan scooted in closer to his mother.The week moved in as most others for Katy and Evan Ayers. Katy, up at fivea.m, did some morning housework before preparing herself and her son for theirprospective days. Soon, Katy would change from mother/cleaner to executivesecretary. Her j ob downtown satisfied her in most every way except salary. Sheknew she couldn't expect much with only a year of college behind her, but sheneeded money to raise her son. Evan's father helped financially, but when hislegal obligations were finished, hewas finished with his family. Katy'shusbandwas never ready to handle the challenges or pressures that came along with Evan,but since he had gone, the twosome had managed to survive. When he left and39..moved out of state, he sent checks to Katy with no explanations, no letters, nomessages to Evan. When Katy received the first check wrapped coldly in blan~,white paper, she became even more determined to be not only mother andplaymate for Evan, but now father as well.This Monday morning, Katy finished some laundry, paid the thirty-della,electric bill, selected the dinner meat to be thawed from the refrigerator, andhauled some trash out to the curb. Katy had been combining roles for so manymonths now, she had forgotten what she did every morning when the riuclea-family numbered three.With the morning duties finished, Katy yawned as she went to awaken h~rson. Opening the white blinds was always the best way to get Evan stirring. Witha quick pull of the blinds' string, the morning sunlight would usually cast instantshadows in the boy's room. Katy's housekeeping skills were enough to make anyfull-time housewife envious,and Evan's white room wasa perfect example. Likea hospital room, Evan's surroundings were clean, scrubbed, and white. Whitewalls with a simple teddy-bear papered pattern above the chair-rail held picturesof bears at play. His white sheets and bed cover against the stark window blindswere simple decorating, but fresh and simple. Adding colortothe bed werea one.eyed purple and white polka-dot giraffe and a long, yellow snake with bulgingblack eyes coiled now around Evan's sleeping head. From beneath his whiteblanket, a tuft of Evan's hair blended into the whiteness of the cover. Then, asKaty's hand released the blinds, his forehead and eyes emerged into the whiteworld surrounding him.As if hewas sacrificing them, Evan moved his friends the snake and one-eyedgiraffe to the side of the bed; he outstretched his arms to Katy. Hugging Evantightly, Katy knew her life, for now, was full. When Evan's eyes focused OnKaty's, she remembered for the countless time how dependent he was on her; herdecisions structured his life. Not only was Katy Evan's set of parents, but she washis best friend, his rival at foot-races, his only guest at his sixth birthday party lastyear.Katy knew Evan's life centered around her and shewas beginning toreshapeher days with this knowledge. A sigh of relief escaped from Katy whenever sheopened an envelope from Evan's father. She always recognized his messyhandwriting instantly, and her heart would begin to race. Twice a month, it wasthe same; her long nails would dig into the envelope as she'd say a quick prayerthat the mailing would include only a check - a message from his father wouldonly complicate Katy and Evan's comfortable duet.With Evan dressed and fed, Katy and he squeezed into her tiny Toyota tobegin their Monday morning. On their way to Evan's school, Katy zipped pastoth er neigh borhood first-grad ers at th e corner b us stop. N eith er Katy n or h er sonwaved to the nameless students assembling near the stop sign; instead, Katycaught Evan's eye and winked at her son.As always, Katywalked her son to his school's doorway and then greeted histeacher and her other few students. Today, as any other day, Evan gripped hismother's hand with intensity. Then, as he became more comfortable, he slowly40_ •••••••••••••••••••• _ manuscriptsreleased her hand and headed for the Legos waiting for his creative hand acrossthe room. Halfway to the blocks, Evan changed his course and ran back to Katy;She kneeled as Evan kissed her goodbye.On her way out the door, Katy noticed chipping paint and a dented guttersurrounding Evan's school; with half of her paycheck paying for Evan's educationhere, she wished the building looked a little more respectab le. Still, Katy knewthis was one of the only places for her Evan.As usual, Katy arrived back at the school at 4:50 that afternoon. Katyalwayschecked her watch when pulling into Evan's school; since his school had no bellsto signify the end of class, Katy's only knowledge of when to begin looking forher son was her trusted Timex. Almost immediately, she spotted Evan's tiny, redIzod windbreaker turn the corner and pick up speed as he saw the curb-sideToyota. After a hard peck hit Katy's cheek, she pulled away and asked Evan if hewanted to go shopping; his bobbing, white bangs moving with his affirmativenod told Katy to drive to the mall.Poe's was the favorite store of both members of the Ayers family. Katy likedthe selection of professional dresses, and Evan loved the toys: intertwining trait.sets, dolls with real hair, red and blue soldier statues, and Matchbox cars anc,trucks of every color of the rainbow. Walking between the toy department aisles-Katy noticed her son's eyes widening, his pace quickening. Then, after everjinteresting toy had been examined, Katy and Evan took the escalator down to thebetter dresses. Evan used to be scared of the moving grills, but at the last trip tcthe mall, Katy taught Evan to coordinate his steps on the moving stairway. Now.Evan pulled his mother's arm to show off his new skill.In the dress section, Katy rushed. She needed a few new outfits and usuallythe clearance rack had one or two items she could use. First, though, she checkedsome tags on other items: a navy dress with a white sailor collar, a black suit witha double-breasted jacket, a red and royal blue plaid skirt ensemble. Then, shehurried to the sales racks; she wanted to get out of the department store soon toget Evan's dinner. Katy grabbed a size nine, red pleated skirt for $29.99 anddecided to try it on at home; now, her thoughts were on feeding Evan's hungrymouth pork chops and a baked potato.Suddenly, Katy noticed her skirt was in one hand, her purse in the other-Evan was gone. Immediately, she tossed the skirt on a nearbyrackand franticallyscanned the section. She then began asking sales clerks and shoppers if they hadseen her son. Next, she again surveyed the dress department, ran franticallythrough the adjacent juniors department, and continued. She ran through theaccessories area next, then skipped every other step on the escalator to the toysdepartment, and eventually ended up again in the home-base of the better-dresses department.Katy's heart raced, her palms and arm pits sweated, and her eyes welled withtears. At each stop she asked shoppers if they had seen her son. "A little boy?,"she kept repeating. "Red jacket, white pants, and high tops- blond hair?" Eachgave a disappointing shake of the head ora quick "sorry." An older woman askedwhat the boy's name was, but Katy had no time for pointless questions; she41continued her jog, scanning behind tall racks. Finally, Katy found herself in themiddle of the better-dresses section alone, crying, helpless. She rummaged herfingers through her hair, turned her head in each direction, and felt the warm tearsfalling down her cheeks. Fear filled her body; panic overtook her. She madecircles around the dress racks where their hands had parted and thought aboutfinding security personnel, anyone who could bring her son back to her.Katyfelta sudden crash against her leg,and instantly the panic left her body.She whipped her head toseeherson,hisarms squeezingher leg, his eyes red fromcrying. She embraced her son harder than she ever had, and he held on tightly.Finally a spectecled saleswoman cleared her throat to get Katy's attention. Katygratefully looked up from her crouched position and smiled."I kept asking his name, buthe'sa shy one," said thewoman whose name tagread "Bernadette.""Thank you," answered Katy wanting to be rid of her, to be out of the store,wanting only to behomenowwith herson. StiII bent down by Evan,KatypuIledaway slightly and looked him squarely in the eye. She tugged her arms loose fromhis clutch and brought them close to her chest, Using American Sign Language,Katy signed "let's go home?" to her son. He smiled and frantically noddedoutstretching his arms again to his mother. She decided that's all she needed totell her son for now and occupied her hands now scooping up her boy.Evan's fingers intertwined around Katy's neck until she pushed throughPoe's heavy doors. There, outside the store, and in his mother's arms he releasedhis fingers; behind Katy's head, Evan smiled and signed a quick "thank you" tothe clouds overhead./42

Evan\u27s World

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Evan\u27s World

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