Rowland, C. R.

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50Turtle in a ShellChris R. RowlandIn high school I was given a book containing The Heart of Thoreau'sJournals. I was flattered because the person who gave it to meconsidered me a protege of Thoreau. Although I admired Thoreau andappreciated his writing, I am certainly no protege. In my mind thebook represented an object of Thoreau's thought, an ornament of hisideals. I placed it with all the other ornaments on my bookshelf, afterbarely glancing at it.Recently, after I read an excerpt from one of Ayn Rand's books, oneof Thoreau's passages popped into my mind. It was a short, simpleentry which stated, "It takes a man to make a room silent." At first I didnot picture the peacefulness in these words. I pictured a wild-eyedman sitting on a wooden chair, in the middle of a room, surrounded byfour white walls - staring at nothing in particular and mumbling tohimself. I think this morbid interpretation evolved after my reading ofAyn Rand's existentialist views.I believe Ayn Rand idealizes individuals who are separated by thewalls of their own silent rooms. In this isolation of quiet solitude, ourminds would be our sale companions, and the popular maxim "1think,therefore I am" would be the only assurance of our existence. "1" or the"self" would be the only purpose for living.Identifying with Rand's idea of an "1" world is not difficult. I do,occasionally, dream of existing in solitude - even of wishing theentire population of the world into oblivion, except for the singlefemale companion of my choice. I call it my Adam and Eve complex,apple included. My reason for this dream may be the same as Rand'swish for isolation. Itcomes from a frustration with human faults and anoverwhelming inability to do anything about it. Since we cannot con-trol this world, why not create our own "world"? But, to live in a worldwe create for ourselves is to live in a "world" of nonexistence.Because existence cannot be comprehended by a single mind, aperson living within the parameters of his four walls also lives withinthe parameters of non-existence. "1think, therefore I am." was a maximdeveloped for society, from within society. A mind needs other mindsto reassure it of its existence. If a tree fell in the forest, but no one wasthere to hear it, would it make a noise? If a man lived in solitude, andnone was aware of his existence, would not his life be a noise unheard?manuscripts 51 _But I am missing the point. Existence is a social concept notimportant to an existentialist. People like Rand would describe them-selves as tumbleweeds being blown across the plain - free of socialconcern, responsible only to their "self." I would describe them asturtles hiding in their shells. Rather than advocate change in a worldwhich exists, they retreat to a world they idealize. What theseretreatists fail to realize is that turtles may be boiled or baked in theirshells, and events occurring in the real world affect them in theirworld. If a nuclear warhead were to detonate in Washington state, thepersons enclosed within their shells of isolation in Idaho would mostlikely die from the fallout. If the person hiding were to live as part ofsociety and remain worldly conscious and locally active, they might beable to prevent their own untimely demise. Clearly, no one can livecompletely separate from society or totally alone.Society consists of the people within it, obviously. Attempting tolive apart from society is no less than co-existing with it, like it or not.The idea of an existentialist existing with society is as absurd as theterm "jumbo shrimp." It is contradictory to the Rand doctrine. Perhapsthis is why Rand's character in Anthem proclaims her separation fromsociety atop a mountain - it is not conducive to social gatherings. But Iwould wish to see her spend her life on top of that mountain; it wouldbe a short "non-existence."An "I" can neither live within society, nor with other ''1''s to be trueto belief. 'T's have selfish needs exclusive of anyone else. An "I" isignorant of other's needs and is concerned only with its own. An "I" insociety would be an island in an ocean, slowly being eroded by theactions of the tide until eventually it is gone or covered by the waves.An ''1'' existing with another "I" would be as pleasant as two carnivoresfighting for a carcass. They are oblivious to cooperation as survival andwill die hungry because of it.To die hungry and alone, or to be covered or ignored are the fates ofindividuals who believe their walls will hold back the progression ofsociety. They may sit in their solitudinal rooms and mumble to them-selves until they become drooling effigies to the world around them,or they may choose to leave the sterile white walls they hide behindand come into the warmth of the multitude ofmen and possibilities. AsThoreau wrote, "It takes a man to make a room silent," but it takesmany men to fill the room with the din of existence.

Turtle in a Shell

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Turtle in a Shell

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