Keys, Andrew

English

Digital Commons @ Butler University

34 MANUSCRIPTSAND THEY LOCKED HIM IN A ROOMAnd they locked him in a roomThere amidst the dust and gloom,And they laid him down upon a tiny cot.And they went away with sorrowThinking of his grey tomorrowAnd yet they left him there in solitude to rot.And his eyes began to wanderAs his mind began to ponder,And elaborate upon his desperate plight.And his eyes began their burningAs his frail body turning,Spent what was to them a restful night.And a pigeon he did spy,And the world was in its eye,And he uttered what was then naught but a mumble.And through the ferric bars,He saw life, the falling stars,And all destroyed but he, as it did crumble.And he put them in a roomThere amidst the dust and gloom,And he laid them down, all on one tiny cot.And as his life began its wane,There interred in drizzling rain,He mused and laughed aloud as they did rot.JAY LARKINA Commentary on the PrincipalElement in the Decline and Fallof "The Human Rece"/Andrew KeyesAFT!'R MANY. hours of prolonge~1 _and prodigious study,. I havefinally arnved at the determining factor 111 the decline anddescent of racial cultures, both modern and ancient. It is myconclusion that silverware is the factor; that eating utensils are themost important inventions in the history of mankind. Let me nowtrace the path of this momentous but malignant discovery throughthe ages.Consider, if you will, the first man: strong, healthy, and per-fectly content. He ate with his fingers and was satisfied. Then oneday he made a discovery: it's easier to eat broth or stew using aladle-like affair, which he called a spoon. This was all well andgood; however, it should not be carried too far. He realized thisMANUSCRIPTS 35and warned his fellow man. But the ears of humanity were closed.Let us next observe the Greeks. In their society the spoon be-came the epitome of strength and usefulness, a beauty to behold.But in time the Greeks paid the price for their luxuries. They wereconquered by the crude-spooned Romans of the West.The Romans then copied the Greek spoon and developed it evenmore. Bronze and gold spoons with graceful lines and ornate en-graving became the symbol of Rome's decadent masses. The Ro-mans literally spooned their morals down the drain.However, the Romans' days were soon to end; they were over-come by the truculent barbarians from the North with their simplewooden and stone spoons. This split Europe into numerous, smallfeudal holdings, each with its own type of spoon, and she was to staythis way until united by the fork, which brought with it the Renais-sance.Originally designed as a two-pronged device to facilitate thecarrying of food to the mouth, the fork soon met the same fate thatthe spoon did; it became extravagant and richly designed.Following the fork, the knife became tableware, and it too fol-lowed the path of its forefathers, the fork and spoon. Men becamesoft and corrupt once more.In the sixteen hundreds silverware came to America. Here itreturned to its original form, and its simplicity personified the pio-neer spirit of our early settlers. In its hardy ruggedness it reflectedtheir patriotism and strength of will. Those first Americans had nouse for elaborate silverware, so why do we? Luxurious silverwarehas become the symbol of a nation trying desperately to live likekings but instead sinking into the black mire of decadence.Possibly there is still time to save ourselves. If we will onlyrealize the errors of our ways and reform, we may obtain salvation.In view of this possibility I present the following suggestions:1. Keep your silverware simple, and do not let it go to yourhead.2. Strive to abolish extravagant silverware and the evil itstands for.3. Do not let your local, state, or federal governments be takenover by honey-mouthed politicians bearing fancy spoons.In these and only these ways may our culture be preserved forposterity. Act now!

Commentary on the Principle Element in the Decline and Fall of  The Human Race

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Commentary on the Principle Element in the Decline and Fall of The Human Race

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