1998 English Department Creative Writing Contest Winne

Bohannon, Cat

Digital Commons @ Butler University

ManuscriptsPOETRYBeginningsI start it, and it's bigso I stop.Chew at my collar for a while.I start it, and it's bigso I stop.Dissecting a pen.Clicking my nails on a keyboard.I start itAnd the shaking starts in my jaw, and myteeth won't separate but to chatter, and theglare off my rings is falshing SOSOSOSdangerous and drunk and blind soI stop./Little at a time, girl.Little at a time.You don't have to tell them whythere are scars on your tongue, justopen your mouth.You don't have to tell them whythe chair is 3 feet from thefull-Ienght mirror,58Spring '98at the foot of your bed,or the scarf of Chinese silkcrimson and stiff with blood,little at a time.They will piece it together.Just as you are stitchedwith the thinnest threadin the most absurd patternsor the chain that goesfrom one pierced ear to the other,and has hung youon that concrete walllike a picturein the living room of the rich.Or is it the silkwrapped round your wrists andhooked through your thighs •your knees in the dust, and yourun-blindfolded eyes full on the firing squad,and the glare off their rifleskeeps you from seeingif you carry their namesin your silver-strung head.Little at a time.That chair's wood is petrified, you shouldconsole it like a girl to her doll59Manuscriptsin a plane that's going down.Stroke it like you wouldstroke the red and drooled-on yardof doll-head.The silk should be washed, sofind a sink that isn't whitein a room that has no cameras.Your ankles can be washedin that same sink, the burnsthe same weave as the belt.The bow should be untied,it has other uses now, and the beltcan stay where it lies.I start it, and it's bigso I trust it. I can fit in it.The firing squad, wellthe glare off their rifleshas made them blind.My rings are flashingSOSOSOSinto their butchered eyes.Cat Bohannon60

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