Edds, Ami

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manuscriptsKidnappedAmi Edds/We were sitting naked, our bodies pressed against one another. Itwas freezing andmy chest hurt, taking in the bitter air. My breasts were throbbing. Pulling downward, theweight felt like ice-cold lead lumping against my ribs. My nipples were erect and chafing.The blowing draft made them harder than stone. My spine was burning clear down to mytailbone, and the rest of my rear was numb from sitting still in that unbearable, bone-chillingclimate.I tried to move my left arm, but could not. Itwas paralyzed from my shoulderdown, and I thought, "Dear Lord, I think this is it...." Then my stomach sank and my heartskipped out of sync until I opened my eyes and saw that it wasn't so. Instead, I found a dark,hairy man who had wrapped himself around my arm and legs. At first, I was repulsed at theidea of his touching me - under ANY conditions ... but these were not any conditions!After II scaled the truck (we figured it must have been a meat freezer), I realized my bodyheat - as well as that of all the others' in the truck - was his only hope of survival!Our bodies were one ... EVERYONE'S!Where one body ended, another began.Some clung to those around them, others had no choice. Towards the back of the truck,bodies were piled two and three persons high. I had little hope for those who were stuck onthe bottom. We were taking each other's oxygen and we had no idea how long we would bestuck there. It felt like we were moving, so I assumed "THEY" eventually would have tostop for gas. What did I know? That didn't ever mean they would let us out. Our situationwas dismal, but at least I had my faith.In talking with God, I asked him why I was there was I being punished for some-thing I had or had not done? Maybe it was just my time ? I knew I was not perfect, but Ihad worked hard to live an honest, Christian life...Then I prayed aloud,Our Father, who art in heaven,46fall 1989Hallowed be thy name.Thy kingdom come, thy will be done,On earth as it is in heaven ...Some others began to join in prayer,Forgive us of our trespasses,As we forgive those who trespassAgainst us ...We were crying, and I remember feeling guilty, too. How could I forgive THEM, after theyhad forced us into this terrible situation? We'd been stripped of our clothes ...our privacy,violated; our pride, demoralized ...For thine is the Kingdom,And the power,And the glory, forever,Amen.When we had finished, the truck echoed of silence, and for a moment, a few of us thought wehad found hope.After a whole, there was no was of knowing how long we had been traveling, muchless what their intentions were for us, once we reached "wherever." The only thing we knewwas that we were being removed from town to be held hostage someplace else... but what-ever the reason, we were never told. We never saw the faces behind our masked kidnap-pers. They drove around in the freezer truck picking us out at random. Usually theywould ask us for directions, and then one of them would grab us and throw us inside thefreezer. They removed all our belongings and it was horrifying when they knocked usaround until we fell into the sea of bodies. I was so embarrassed. Everyone could watch,47manuscriptsbut they didn't dare, it had just happened to them. Looking a among ourselves, I saw a waveof confused and frightened faces. None of us could figure out THEIR logic, because therewas no logic. We didn't know why we were chose as targets, we had nothing in common,other than sharing that awful predicament.No one could hear us - to rescue. The walls entrapping us were sound-proof andthey were of glazed stainless steel. We were sealed off from the drivers that plotted ourcourse ... we were sealed off from the world!Our only light source was a kerosene lantern that hung directly over my head. It wasbarely suspended by two metal chains that rattled into each other as the speed of the truckincreased. I was afraid one of them would loosen from the ceiling and the lantern woulddrop onto my head. As we swerved and jostled over the bumpy road, my body flinched toduck from the swinging lantern. It was no use, though, I still couldn't move. The dim lightmerely cast a glimpse of shadows that danced across some of the blank and lifeless faces.It was better that way. The darkness was all that offered us comfort, and it gave usour only privacy. Until that day the only naked man I had seen was my husband, Raymond.We were married at nineteen, and I remembered wondering at that age, "Do all men look likethat...?" After twenty-two years and three kids, I knew a whole lot more ... but none of itprepared me to be comfortable stripped naked in a truck loaded with other undressedstrangers.It was getting more difficult to withstand the grotesque conditions. Women werescreaming that those who were buried beneath the piles were already dead. I wasn'tsurprised, the truck smelled vile! Our oxygen was fading and there was no way those belowcould have breathed at all. The smell was sickening and was almost as suffocating as the airitself.My head was pounding and my stomach felt queasy. My fingers and toes itchedfrom frostbite. Around my inner thighs and crotch, I felt a wet sensation like I used to getdriving with a soda placed between my legs. Touching that area, I felt nothing damp, but onthe inside it tingled and stung. I thought about wading the man on my left side, but the48fall 1989thought of him waking and staring so closely at my body was just too humiliating. Hisweight was clinching my circulation, which was also numbing me.I tried to think of warm things to get my mind off the cold. I thought about winterfires, bubble baths, sunshine, sweaters, and the warmth of Raymond's arms .., then I pan-icked! When would I ever see those arms again? How much longer could we survive likethis ... would we survive? I wondered where were my darling Jessica and Raymond? Whatwere they doing looking for me, I hoped?! God, I wasn't still at the grocery store ... surelythey knew that "Please, God, tell me they know I'm missing!"Tears crystallized down my face. I wanted to see their faces ... touch their lips ... feeltheir warm bodies ... And Janet! Oh, Lord, she's expecting!" I never thought I wouldn't liveto see my first grandchild ... Thanksgiving ... Christmas ... Jeff's graduation ...... and then it happened. The truck swerved wildly, and bodies from the rear flewforward onto the others. I was knocked unconscious for a while ... the lantern had fallenfrom the ceiling and had landed on my head ... after I awoke I could see the others, drapedacross one another in new groupings along the side of the truck. We had crashed intosomething hard - it felt like a train! The impact was quick and forceful, and seemed to lastforever ... though it happened very fast. I remember hearing the awful sound of the breaksscreeching just the split second before we crashed. The accident stunned us all ... all thatwere alive ... I heard murmuring moans of aching pain ... the sound swelled around me ...then it grew fainter as I began to slip away. The man to my left finally untangled himselffrom me. I could feel him applying pressure to my head ... but the bleeding would not stop.Then I heard distant voices again, but they were not groaning .. they were calling outto me. I could not make out what they were saying. All I could do was focus on a light that Isaw in the distance. Itwas surrounded by darkness, but I could feel it coming closer. Thecloser it came - the warmer I felt, and before long, my body was tingling again. For amoment, I thought I saw Raymond. Then he faded fast into the dark. Eerie black circleswhirled behind the light, trying to snuff it out. "Come, Jennifer ...," someone said ... "Come!"I couldn't place the voice, but it was clearly speaking to me.49manuscriptsI started feeling more nauseous and light-headed - I thought it was from losing somuch blood. I didn't try to move, I couldn't. It hurt just to open my eyes. When I did,everything was blurry. Straight ahead it was pitch black. Around me, I could still feel thewarmth of the light. It had become the only thing that offered me comfort.I sensed people were around me, but I could not find their faces. Looking down, Isaw tiny images moving slowly, but the figures were doubling and I still couldn't make out athing. Then I noticed there weren't any more voices ... only the light ... ONLY THE LIGHT!/For a moment, I thought I had been dreaming a horrible nightmare, but then I knew Ihad experienced the ordeal. ...so where was I? ... and where did everyone go? I assumedthat when the lantern fell, everyone was left in complete darkness, so I stretched out myarms, but felt no one. Groping my way, I could not feel another body ... I could not feel athing. Then I wondered, "Maybe my arms are still numb ...?" I decided to fold my arms to-gether, and although I could feel something, it didn't seem right.I felt alone ... somehow, some way, I was suddenly all alone. The light was directlyabove me, where the lantern once was - only it was blinding me. It was so close, I could feelheat rushing through my soul ... and then it hit me, that's all I was: a small soul! The warmglow embraced me and lifted me upward.I felt no more pain and the nausea had ceased. It felt so good to be warm again, andI was finally beginning to see. I even could make out some of the faces below. Bodies werestrewn in all directions. Rivers of blood pooled around the chalky nudes. There was somuch red that I couldn't tell where all the blood was coming from ... but few persons moved.Many were slumped over one another; some curled up like shrimp, clinging to the limbs ofhis neighbor.For the first time, I could see our drivers. Their faces were embedded in a web ofglass that spun across the windshield. It looked like they had missed their tum, and had hithead-on into a semi.Their faces were getting smaller as I lifted higher towards the light. I was searching50fall 1989below for one last glimpse of Raymond and Jessica ... I still wanted to see their faces ... to tellthem that I would be all right ... and then I saw the back of Raymond's leather jacket, stand-ing with his arms around Jessica ... he was staring up at me ... he was weeping, but then Iknew ... once he had found me ... I could finally let go ...51

Kidnapped

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Kidnapped

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