Spoonerian, Transposian, Numbo-Carrean, Liquidian, Explodian, Newspeak

Lindon, J. A.

Palindromian, Dodecanian, Frascarian, and Nosetailian

Digital Commons @ Butler University

sus two Webste'" , New York) , hina} , ITAU­llippine s} , lifted from ther non­nd EUAE­I, both : Engli sh of Ottawas, of France dIYEYASUS ~. Iyeyasu Jer sons such or replace , of OUT­: r, equally U, KAIAAKEA, \CEAE, ENIA and st after n this arti­~sponding rt that 1 Catholic 215 TEN LOGOTOPIAN LINGOS (PART 1) J. A. LINDON Weybridge, Surrey, England 1. Palindromian IN EDEN, I Adam: Madam Eve: Oh, who -­Adam: Eve: Adam: Eve: Adam: Eve: Adam: Eve: Adam: Eve: Adam: Eve: Adam: Eve: Adam: Eve: Adam: Eve: Adam: Eve: Adam: Eve: Adam: Eve: Adam: Eve: (No gir 1- rig on I ) Heh? Madam, I'm Adam. Name of a foeman? 0 stone me! Not so. Mad! A maid I am, Adam. Pure I eh? Called Ella? Cheer up. Eve, not Ella. Brat- star ballet on? Eve. Eve? Eve, maiden name. Both sad in Eden? I dash to be manned, I am Eve. Eve. Drowsy baby' s word. Eve. M:td! A gift. I fit fig, Adam On, hostess? Ugh! Gussets? Oh, no! ??? Sleepy baby peel s. Wolf! Low! Wolf? Fun, so snuff 'low' . Yes, low. Yes, nil on, no linsey-wolsey. M.3.dam, 1 1 m Adam. Named under a ban, Abared, nudeman--­Aha! M3.d Adam! M.mmmmmmrn! Mmmmmmm.m! Even in Eden I win Eden in Eve. Pure woman in Eden, I win Eden in - - a mower-up! Mmmmrnmmm! Adam, II m Ada. 216 Adam: Mi s s, JI m Cain. a nlonomaniac. Mi s s, I' m -­Eve: No, son. Adam: Name 1 sAbel, a male, base man. Eve: Name not so, 0 stone man! Adam: M3.d as it is, it is Adam. Eve: JI m a Madam Adam, am I? Adam: Eve? Eve: Eve mine. Denied, a jade in Eden, II m Eve. Adam: No fig. (Nor wrong if on!) Eve: ??? Adam: A daffodil I doff, Ada. Eve: I Ti s a - - what - - ah, was it -­Adam: Sun ever. A bare Venus . . . Eve: I S pity! So red, ungirt. rig- nude, Adam: Eve is a sieve! Eve: Tut-tut! Adam: Now a see saw on • Eve: On me? (0 poem!) No! Adam: Aha! Eve: I won 1 t! 0 not now, I -­Adam: Aha! Eve: NO! 0 God, 1-- (Fit if I do?) Go Adam: Hrrrrrrh! Eve: Wow! Ow! Adam: Sore s? (Alas, Ero s ! ) rosy tips . . . on. Eve: No, none. My hero! M'Jrehymen, on, on ... Adam: Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh! Eve: Revolting is error! Re sign it, lover. Adam: No, not now I won l t. On, Eve: Rise, sir! Adam: Dewy dale, cinema- game Eve: Marry an Ayr ram! Adam: Rail on, 0 liar! Eve: Live devil! Adam: Diamond- eyed no-maid! Both: MmmmlTImmmmmm! on ... nice lady wed? word i Int PasHia son plu hyphenE 1m! Ilu' Squc: Ud I qui 11m. Squa Fell Squa I me The There aI ists, in' more fle to overn low on, ] sentence examplei 2. Dodecanian In hi s Nineteen Eighty- Four, George Orwell forgot to mention Do­decania, that tiny, inaccessible state, nominally in the Oceanian sec­tor of the tripartite globe, but left semi-autonomous on account of the difficulties of properly subjecting it. As the price of their outward conformity the Dodecanians make quiet fun of their huge jack-booted ne ighbour. Their private ver sion of Newspeak, for example, boils the language down to a mere twelve words per subject, as in the Miniluv idiom, exemplified below, where characteristically the mtion Da­mian sec­)Unt of the lutward k- booted e, boils 1 the the 217 word is used in a sense very different from. Oceania s.' In the Miniluv idiom, the twelve essential words are I doll m.eet not V fella luv tem.pa bed squalla chop quit Position in sentence indicates whether subject or object. First per­son plural is VI. Prefixing of nouns or pronouns indicate s po s se s sion, hyphened repetition indicate s emphasis or plurality. An exam.ple: I meet V. I luv V. VI bed. Squalla. Iluv squalla, V not-Iuv squalla. Squalla tem.pa, V tempa, I tempa. U chop squalla, squalla not - squalla. I quit U, m.eet fella, luv fella, bed fella. Squalla. Iluv squalla, fella not-Iuv squalla. Squalla tempa, fella tempa, I tem.pa. Fella quit I, meet doll, luv doll, bed doll. Squalla. Squalla tempa, fella tem.pa, doll tem.pa, fella quit doll. I meet doll, doll tempa, I tempa, 1- squalla tempa, doll- squall a tempa, TEMPA- TEMPA- TEMPA luv! 3. Frascarian The nam.e derive s from phrase s carr ee s, square sentence s. There are two main dialects, the very lim.ited one spoken by the Pur­i sts, in which every utte rance is a genuine word- square, and the more flexible lingo of the M.ixians, who allow words to overrun freely. Thus a Mixian might say: It Fol­ FOLL Iowan, loyal nag, 11 which forms an overrunning o WO N sentence- square as shown at the right. A couple of LOYA example s will make the matter clear. L NAG (a) Puri st Dialect X: Was Ada sad? Y: She had Eda. X: Yes, Eda saw. Y: Saw Ada was -­X: Too old. Odd. Y: It' s the sea. X: It's the sex. ----------218 Y: His ice -- sex? X' Was age sea? Y: Age? God! Eda. X: Rae and Eda. Y: Was Ada sad! (b) Mixian Dialect Cheerful Barber: Good old m.od m..'idm..'in! Custom.er: Good m.orn! II Noon's End 11 next m.onth. Cheerful Barber: Nuts! Up on top I snip? Custom.er: Not too short - ­ head-to-axe order. Cheerful Barber: Any snip-type •.. -­ a stab? Custom.er: Wow! Ow! Away! Cheerful Barber: No blood, Abdulla. Lo! Custom.er: Fool! Dolt! Spot, boil .. -­ sound pint.! Cheerful Barber: (Half a gill is a flap!) (Noon 1 s End is pre sum.ably the title of som.e film or show) 4. No s e tailian Once again, a language with several dialects, all deriving from. or­dinary Engli sh words by the tender- before- engine proce s s of form.a­Hon. In the Mer cerian Straits, Choptic Latin is spoken: Intra bella pireum vivere, Barum. covitemus, edus belli tem.ptat, while in the Nim.m.erlander of Lindonia, Nosetailian Deutsch is m.ore com.rnonly m.et with: Alle ableten Redlinge schicken Ausbure einher, Dahil ist eidner Zolben gernanbar gelozen. There is even one tiny, but highly progre s sive com.munity. that of the Neocyc1ic s, in which the pure lingua nuova is in everyday use: Piase dowsha vera engre dowmea. Two dialects which use quasi-English words are m.uch more widely spoken than any of the above, and so have far greater im.portance. No setailia was originally colonised by settler s from Transposia, and the first of these dialects, Tanglean, bears a close resemblance to the mother tongue. Only a sprinkling of genuine Nosetailian words occur (cf. George Orwell's semi-Newspeak of 1984) , but the Tang­leans insi st that both the se words and their Engli sh roots make some kind of sense in the context. In wha t follows, the No setailian words are underlined. Ralfe: .!2Y. Gerti: 0­Ralfe: Ac -Gerti: ( SE Ralfe: ( e 1 Gerti: An' Ralfe: Y01 Gerti: She Ralfe: Y01 Gerti: I'v Ralfe: We Gerti: We Ralfe: In-The se words is l' No setailial nia, may 1: sembles N origins ar( English Le IN- THE DJ L: O-deer M: Wy-the L: 0- Max M: Sech-a L: Ewan, M: Ewan? L: He-let M: Tanks L· U-men M: My-rur l h. pint I how) ving from or­of forma­ch is more , that of the use: more widely ntance. posia, and blance to In words the Tang­na.ke some ian words 219 (a) Example of Tanglean Dialect Ralfe: Dy-how? Gerti: 0- hell! (Ideas) Vocha, you shooy! Ralfe: A calla girl can be yallo. Don I t let the boys arest you out. Gerti: (seeing the micco side): Gueton, you wag! Be like the onest. ~alfe: (ernst): Dan't start raising your bowel. Gerti: And drink coaco? A cofi for that! I need something more like cida. Ralfe: You chatta no importance to our Valri? Gerti: She 1 S tricci, I grant you. Oh, but that letcha is al- fat I Ralfe: Your wit is cattL Still, she's no nyti. Gerti: II ve known her ly- bare anele. Ralfe: We are two in Es sex. You can glean for the re st. Gerti: Well, stay veaH! Ralfe: In- scoff to you! The second of our two important dialects which use quasi-English words is Novanglian. This lingo, which is composed entirely of Nosetailian words and is now spoken throughout the whole of Mercedo­nia, may be regarded as the standard form of the language. It re­sembles Numbo- Carrean in many ways (see Section 7) although itsJ origins are different and there are no strict word-endings. e. g. J English Lethe, callus, heron give He-let us-call on-her'.I (b) Novanglian (No setailian proper) IN- THE DINE-' AL L: O-deer, I-can 1 t fech-a laga to-Gus or-an ale-more to-Len! M: Wy-the 'ot-hel I Ary-not? L: 0- Maxi, I-pot-pourr al-term-in getting-for Terie s -lot. M: Sech- a slav-yu- go and- comm? L: Ewan, r e- se s- I-am. M: Ewan? O-punch-in- 1 ell l He I s- a-pac of-' oli ' orer s ! L: He-let me-tire- so much-in- so long-a table-time. M: Tanks nede there-ale. L: U-men! Like- a cofi? M: My-rum, Lidea. (to be continued) 

Ten Logotopian Lingos (Part 1)

34 TEN LOGOTOPIAN LINGOS (PART 2) J. A. LINDON Weybridge, Surrey, England 5.	 Spoonerian A: Hot woe, Barley Chinks! B: Hot woe, Chilly Base! A: Blo cking showy, Ml s s Tho rning . B: Glowing a bale. A: It slacked one of my crate s. B: II ve a late slacking. The drain rips in. A: Porter on the willows? Tut- tut ! B: Mad for the bite. Cuddle s on the pot. A: A very washy splinter. B: All blood and m.owing. A: Here ' s to spray in the Ming! B: Sadsom.e glum.m.er! I Ware fell! A: Low song! 6. Transposian A: Do gong Minor! B: Moon-dog grin! A: I saw your drug-hate in town stay reedy. B: The guard? What was she on dig, II d like to wonk? A: She had a m.oany gnu with her. B: The boyl s lost! 1 1 11 give her a rash thing for this. A: High rants? Oh, let the girl be, it I S only Alan Rut. B: II ve said she m.us t let us know before she st,art s to lug a A: Perhaps you I re girt h. B: Seedy tr ay, you said. That would be Diary F. A: No, no r A du st - ray. wink. B: Ah, ye s, of cour se. Rusty Ada. Should have been at he r m.inus closes. She'll get bristles on her sick bead for this, you see if she dents-O! A: (em.ll-sad) That l s not I, Kelly, old m.an! Well, it' s your sin buse s, II ve m.y own tram.- set to think of. Slog on I B: No logs. Fe ing Ian Magaz that ev of hypl replae sult s. give s t a table Cicbed Bed: Medigf Iulbl C:	 Bu a ry ed-E heu M: AI C:	 Hi] cee­M:	 IE ar-h C: Ou M:	 IS Side· Miid odd-C:	 (al odd­M:	 Yi have bedd C:	 Wh shha HHH M:	 (f( bleu ca s­C:	 Ay live rink. d for 5 on! 35 7.	 Numbo- Carrean For a fuller, but still very incom?lete account of this entertain­ing language, see Joseph S. Madachy' s Recreational Mathematics Magazine. for October 1962 (is sue no. 11). Suffice it to say here that every word in Numbo- Carrean, whether simple or compounded of hyphened or apostrophized parts, is such that, if its letters be replaced by their alphabet po sition number s, a square number re­suIts. Thus, in the dialogue below, the patient's name, Burti D' Feld, gives the two squares 22118209 and 465124, which can be found from a table of squares without any need for calculation. Af	 d Medigfa Cicbedda: Doc' ddd Yocif H. Bedli ? Medigfa: Iuf, libbe d doc' ddd. Iulbe cieli? Nam I dd -­C:	 Burti D' Feld. libbe cyxti, a ryta. Iuf , live d ed-fau, ed- evy, tad- badd, bihap I goh­heu rheli goefy. libbe anx 1 d. M: Ar-ha. Yiu haf-a-cof? C:	 Hikef! Hikef! Hikef! Yiu cee- 1- cof. Hikef! M:	 I erd. I gheqcu up. Cudhi.. ar-ha .. ar-ha .. miidhi. .. C: our M:	 'Scu! Aic-dhha? Sawli? Side-of d ribbe be oditif. Miidhi.. Oli Staix! Yiu be odd-eer'd! C:	 (anx' d) , Zbadd? T 1 be odd-eer'd? M:	 Yiu awta ly up, be abedd, have a wecof, yiu be a cic­bedda. C:	 Whi- bedd? I Zgodlove! I shha di? Al-up- di? DDDDDD­HHHHHI? M:	 (f ceti) Stiif. Cohdd. Ie!y bleu cohdd. Me - give up, cas- bbbe ahszadd, a-nazdhi -­C:	 Aydd! Aiddha' By Ghgawhd, live need've yiu, ang-yeu! I At	 the Doctor's Patient: Doctor Joseph H. Bedley? Medico: Yes, I'm the doctor. You're unwell? Name -­P:	 Bertie Fields. I'm sixty, a writer. Ye s, my head t s funny, feels sort of swollen, as if I were a tadpole, maybe 11 m going plumb crazy. 1' m worried. M: Ah-ha. You have a cough? P:	 Hough! Hough! Hough' You see I cough. Hough! M:	 I heard. 11 11 give you a check-up. Could 1.. ah-ha .• ah- ha.. might 1. .. P: Ow! M:	 Sorry! Pain there? Much? One side of your ribs is funny. Might 1.. Holy mutton r Your ear s don't match! P:	 (nervously) Is that bad? To have odd ears? M:	 You ought to lie up, be abed, have a week off, you're an in­valid. P:	 Why bed? For the love of Moses! I shall die? All up -­die? DDDDIlIIlIIIIIEE? M:	 (facetiously) Stiff. Cold. Icy blue cold. I give up, the case is very sad, a nasty -­P:	 Help! Oh, help! By crikey, I've need of you, blow you! I I I 36 ha Vi ta be aliifi -­M:	 Phhchha! Be hush' dd! I aide-fiu. Yiu be a ryta, yiu have atac-of fame-aigu. sohli d fame-aigu, neggax, nigfi! mix yiu up d medx, yiu netbe pha d nhEL Varti.. ar-ha .. ar-ha .. sfxi! D cicbedda taixa kwhata ofy d mixhchef, Medx P XXXI, affda mili. Guht-af! C: Guht-af! M: Oeyp! Fe- give. C: Yhhhha! have to be alive, I -­M:	 Fcha! Be qui et! I help a few. You 1 re a writer, you have an attack of fame-fever, it's only fame- fever. nothing much, it's not serious! I'll mix you up some medicine. you I re not for the operating­table. Wait now.. ah- ha .. ah­ha .. that I sit! The patient take s a quarter of the mixture, Potion P 31. after meals. Good- afternoon! C: Good-afternoon! M: Oips! My fee. C: Yah' Laura: Will: Laura: Will: Laura: Will: Laura: Will: Laura: Will: Laura: 8. Liguidian You were aware early. Will. I worry, Laura. I wor ry 0 I er our Wally. Our Wally? Away wi l you! We worry 0 1 er you, Will. Wally, a raw wooer, areal worry, Laura. Leery Lily, eh? A low lolly-lurer ! Yeah. Lily will wilily lure our oily Wally. Oh, you err. Will! Wryly I allow lolly, I rue. I weary, I weigh Wally, I worry. Early I worry. all Yule I worry. all year I worry. A rare worry, our Wally. You owe your Wally a loyal role, Will. Oh. well, we Ire awar e. 1 1 11 really, Laura, really I will. You lie, Will. You' "Fe a liar, you 01' roue! 9. Explo dian This language uses only the explosive consonants -- the hard sounds of b, c (k) , d, g, p and t - - and the short vowels, as in the sentence I that pen is not much good I . Dick: Dot: Dick: Dot: Dick: Dot: Good egg! Good duck! Get Teddy to pick up a bucket 0' cod, Dot. Teddy ud pick a pocket, bu~ duck a bucket 0' cod, Dick.I Got a bucket 0 I cod to pick up? Daddy got it, Bob added a titbit, Betty gutted it. Got to get it to Biddy to cook. Teddy -- a giddy cub, a tot, a tag-puppet, a pick-up-ticket Dick: Dot: Dick: Or, and evE inform; der. followil ing the Edition forth. I I help a ~r, you ne-fever J , nothing us! IT 11 dicine, lerating­rr- ha .. ah­patient e mixture, teals. ill. ear I will. hard in the ck. to ticket 37 pocketed-pegtop oddity? A pity to add a bucket to a tip-up kid! Get big Paddy to pick it up, Dick. Dick: Good tactic! Paddy copied a caddie, took a puppy to Peggy, a buddy to back, bedad! Dot: A pukka cadet! Uppa deck, Dick! Dick: Top attic, Dot! 10. Newspeak Orwell repeatedly mentions Newspeak in Nineteen Eighty- Four and even devotes an appendix to the language, but when the relevant information is collected and examined, it is found to be pretty slen­der. I think only one three-word sentence is actually given. The following extended passage must therefore be regarded only as giv­ing the general idea. It purports to be part of the 1984 Definitive Edition of Shakespeare in Newspeak as rewritten by the poet Amble­forth. No wonder he was vaporized! HAMLET unduckspeakwise: Person or unperson. Query. Unbellyfeel Ing soc, oldthink, ownthink, (PLUSUNGOOD THOUGHTCRIME. PENALTY: UNLIFE) Or Ing soc foolthink doub1ep1usungood, Own unlife bellyfee1, make self unlifer , Unperson, unofficial. (PENALTY: JOYCAMP) Only unwake: become un1i£er. (FOOLTHINK) Unwake, and thusby unperform our Ingsoc duty (GOODWISE NOTE: BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU) seems goodthink (DOUBLEPLUSUNGOOD THOUGHTCRIME). Unwake: become unlifer. Unwake -- ungoodwise dream (PLUS- CERTAINFUL SELF-BRINGED RESULT) -­Yes, there is the unsmoothness -­Correcthil treatment in the Miniluv J Post fail-maked self unlifer with a cord, Is allsuch stopfu1 -- yes, there is the reason We still goodwise perform our Ingsoc duty Until we 1 re vaporized, although (CRIMETHINK) Unbellyfeeling Ingsoc and Big Brother, The Junior Anti- Sex League, rationed goods, Sternne s s of Inner Party and it s just And ungood 1 watch and query! note on us, We seemcould oldthink 1 free 1 perhaps become With a bigneedle. (FOOLTHINK) Who would work, Prolewise and sweatful, doubleplusunfre sh, For Ingsoc if he bellyfeeled to know 38 Cor re ctful treatment in the Miniluv That joyful place from which so few return, And thb se how bigwise changed? Plusgooderwise We live goodthinkful til some Spy reports us, For IGNORANCE is STRENGTH, FREEDOM is SLAVERY, And WAR (against the Party) bring s NO PEACE Inside the Miniluv till we become Unper sons (now OFFICIAL) . But unhard! The clingful and face-crimewise- good-to- see Ophelia! Joysexful girl, forget My many faults in your Two Minutes Hate! QUERY Many well-known people, such as Arkansas Senator J. Wil­liam Fulbright, use their middle name preceded by an initial. Philip Cohen, Fort Myer, Virginia has been collecting such names for years, and has examples for all initials but X. Who is the most well-known owner of each initial? Some plausible candidate s: A. Conan Doyle (author) B. Carroll Reece (former Tennessee senator) C. Northcote Parkinson (author) E. Phillips Oppenheim (author) F. Scott Fitzgerald (author) G. Bromley Oxnam (reli9;ious leader) H. Rap Brown (civil rights ra~ical) 1. Rice Pereira (painter) J. Edgar Hoover (FBI director) L. Frank Baum (author) O. Roy Chalk (transportation executive) R. Buckminster Fuller (engineer and designer) U. Alexis Johnson (diplomat) W. Somer set Maugham ( author) Can the reader do better, or find well-known owner s for the remaining inftials? TO M. H. PrinCE Ca of sh se; its tar To readin possib A, that is it. He and la last Ie are id' other letter comm< mind, rax, s Sus se} Ho "Vlebst, stc trc sp: n-· Can ar 

Ten Logotopian Lingos (Part 2)

http://digitalcommons.butler.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1519&context=wordways

Ten Logotopian Lingos (Part 2)

Abstract

Similar works

Full text

Available Versions

Digital Commons @ Butler University

Digital Commons @ Butler University