Bergerson, Howard W.

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I:laimed, "I'll a threethree. shot off the ~ven Hospital. ~ of the tale. he battle for nd his mother of their exis­s a densely­mbltious: the ewed through ~s in both of Not surpris­ometlmes con­its rela tion­from trying ·dfern argues analysis im­ly, to be in i with taxon­ermy .. Nam­'ln go off whole vari­~atlsm is un­nan 1S capa­,ame attitude ~w synthesis, es and Aris­2edfern IS re­as the taxi­as not been Specifically, '1duces acute like eating book is best ropical ra1n t mysterious ely to share an idiosyn­its support­171 KICKSHANS HOWARD W. BERGERSON Sweet Home, Oregon Kickshaws is currently being assembled by a series of guest edi­tors. All contributions should be sent to the editor in Morristown, New Jersey. The Muse's Advice As this Kickshaws abundantly demonstrates, 1 like to write poetry under various kinds of literary constraint. Does the constraint dictate the mood and subject-matter of the poem, creating a mes­sage not originally perceived by the poet? The poet who holds a great thought Should wish it were worthily wrought. The devices of art Are the key to the heart; lnspira tion without them is naught. The poet with nothing to say Should write in an intricate way. The unconscious will speak Through the conscious technique And engender a magical lay. Presidential Mnemonics In the May 1984 Word Ways, the editor constructed a mnemonic in which alternate letters spelled out the initials of presidential surnames from Washington to Reagan. As I was talking on the phone to Dmitri Borgmann one day in the 1960s, he challenged me to construct a verse in which succeSSIve words began wIth the same letters as the presidential surnames. 1 asked him if the poem should be on the subject of the presidents themselves, but he advised against it, saying "It's not that easy!". 1 ended up writing two versions: Wild apple juice my mother advocates. Jubilant vines her table I s plenty tell. For, passing by love's jllxtaposing gates, Hope's gloomy autumn curfew horns compel Mother's regrets. Time's wastes heavily cloy Her retrospections; too, each kindred joy. Wicked actions just men must abhor. Jackals vaunt high treason's powerful threats. Famed presidents built lowly jails galore, Harsh gallows, and condemned Hell's coronets. 172 Mephisto's He renders rule thus wanes. His to Eternal Kingdom 1 s countergrudge Judge. Nowadays, Carter the poems and Reagan. should be updated to include Nixon, Ford, Sotadic Sapphics 1 enjoy writing palindromic verse more than other constrained forms. Here are th ree previously-unpublished examples of the art: Toil, Edna, anon; spin along, Nita. Let lily me romp unupset as lupine Venus. I'd revel, bailiff, a-nude' If 1 deflower ewes or a tub maid, 1 am but a rose werewolf-edified, unaffiliable. Verdi's uneven! 1 pulsate, spun up more! My lilt, elating Nola, nip s Nona and Eliot. Won't lovers revolt? Nel is now old. Nay, Bev loved sex-elf, erotic Xenia. Petals wed fog: nap on, red rose so placid; I revere veridical poses. Order no pang of dew I s late pain; Excitoreflexes devolve, by and low, on silent lovers. Revolt now! Play carols on rebec, inspired osteopath. Gino, tonight 1 lilt - soloing. A bat - a mad ape - Elsa (Ema, too) desired it never! Al lets Sara hassle Tom, go loco, corrode daft Adelaide. Nola 0 I Slade rips Nino 1 s big sedan Ere snoreth Giles. lrene, rest serene; Rill or brook calamity, doom or enmities Are no omen old. As a tuba doctor, gong no grot coda, But a sad lone moon - erase it! (I'm Nero, moody Tim.) Alack, 0 orb, roll I Irene, rest serene, Rise lighter on serenades Gibson, inspired (also alone), Dia led at faded or rococo log motels. Sahara's stellar eventide, rise, dOl o tame, asleep, Adam at a bagnio lost Lilith~ Gino, tonight a poet's ode rips Nice, Bern, Oslo, racy Alp. Leilani Ramona Schaible Th is is the name of a Dakota girl, the only respondent to an advertisement 1 once placed in Fate Magazine offering to examine the logological significance of people 1 s name s. 1 eventually gener­ated a poem consisting of 146 rearrangements of the letters in her name; three stanzas are reproduced below. Not surprisingly, the poem is characterized by a surrealistic quality that often P	 11 111 1 marks drearr ti ve and me into confusic I E I c-( XI	 I 1 F 1 c ( } 1 XV] } ( I I Back	 and Fc Alphabetic alphabet on is to keep t Apple Flower Love n Rather Vaingl Avid 1 Enter Lootin j :e hxon, Ford, constrained f the art: )vers. ~ver I aide. me) , :lcy Alp. dent to an to examine ally gener­letters in lrprisingly. that often 173 marks dreams in which sudden changes in scene, subject perspec­tive and mood frequently occur, to say nothing of abrupt lapses into confusion, incoherence, and pandemonium. I Born in a chill, a malaise, III on a balmier China sea, All able oarsmen 1 chain; I Sail Mab, a canoe. III in her Cabin~ ram a lee shoal - nil! XI 1 balance all harmonies, f Loll in a bra, in a chemise, Rose-lilac:-banana lei. Him! -a A romance in Bali (is he all Sea romance?), a hiTI in Bali ( I s a bonnie lei all charm - a HITI, a liaison, an embrace?) ,­A shrine in Bali, me - a local, A lean maraschino! Be I ill? A lane! Harmonicas! Be I ill? Is Bali all a neon chimera? XV An albino's mice ire Allah! A A rich calm man - all albino ashen billionaire - I see; In a bar Has nine (can boar I smile a mice - all hello!) ail! (One - a liar - I ban. Shall Roil Asia? I channel blame mice -­All on a liar!) His ambience I call "lie" - a bane! (His manor Inalienable I also charm.) Back and Forth in the Alphabet AIphabetic poems have been around alphabet ones are less common. The is to keep to a unified theme. for a trick long time, in writing but reverse­such poetry Apple blossoms charm delighted Edi th. Flowers gaul her imperious jealous king. Love must not obviate poetic qualities. Rather should tyrants, unwise, Vaingloriously weather Xanthippe's yeasty zing. Zithers yodel, xylophones' warble, Vibes utter tremulous sostenuto rh ythms, Qualifying pianistically oriented notes. Musicians, lampooning kaleidoscopic jazz, Improvise hectic glissandos feverishly. Even discords can but arrive. Ak-ak-ak l Bongo' Crash! Avid bats climb, dip, Enter from great heights into jungle kingdoms, Looting moonless nights on perilous quests. 174 Rabies spreads! The underbrush vibrates wildly! Xanthic yearlings zip! Zombi, your xebec weathered vast, unwonted tempests. Sim ul taneous ly rhododendrons quilted pampas. Opine no moonlit lustrous kayaks, junks imbibe humidities! Gifted fancy, ever dreaming, capture bards I avidities! Self-Replicating Text A self-replicating text, or automynorcagram, is one in which the initial letters of the words in a message spell out the message once more: The house Evelyn Hope occupied until she excruciatingly "exited" (vainglorious earthlings, lament!) yielded no hint of possible explanation. Oceanside's County Coroner urged pretentiously, ''If Evelyn died unnaturally, no telltale indication looms." She had eighty early Xavier Cugat records upstairs. Coming in at twilight, in nightly gloom listened young Evelyn. Xavier in tWilight - even darkness - vivified an innocent nubile girl's love of romance. 1 observing unseen - studied Evelyn and reconnoitered the house, lurking in night's gloom, silently looking and measuring Evelyn' 5 need. (The yearning 1 experi­enced, lOVing desirable Evelyn, diminished never out here! 1 - notable traveler of Fomalhaut's Planet of Saucers - sailed in blindly, longingly, earthward, envying Xavier!) Perhaps love asks not another thing! - 1 only noticed Oceanside's come­ly Evelyn and noted sinister inroads devastating Evelyn t s soul! Can others understand never this yeasty covert obsession? Right on! Nobody ever really understands! Rescuing girls enfeebles discipline's powers - restraint erodes! Tuesday, Evelyn noticed that 1 oscillated! - unfortunately she looked! Yelling, 1 flick­ered evasivally! Vibrationally, Evelyn (lovely young nymph) demateria lized incompletely! Evelyn died undergoing necessar­i ly nonoptimal abduction techniques - unhappily! Rest alone, lovely libidinous young nymph of Terra - Evelyn: long live thine automynorcagram. Word Square Poetry These can be read off column by column to reveal the same message a second time: the wind was a torrent of darkness wind filled the cloudy and towering trees was the moonlit moor not unlovely and a cloudy moor not ungood blackness brooding torrent and not ungood yet evil lovers of towering unlovely blackness evil indeed focbear, darkness trees and brooding lovers forbear highwaymen The w Wind Was tl And a Blackr Loven Forbe, Forbe, once upon a midnight dreary Once 1 Upon A win With r Cursir With ~ Lipograms Lipogram~ a half-alph letters B]KQ Ave by Via aqUi I've a j 1 jab a Bike-bat By a ja, You qui2 Baby, 1 Above a "Quake, By Jove, By a iv: Bake ox, Viva, 0 Song of the Many ye, out the ETA of sense an Z; in the 8.1 times JQXZ, have to a robust tempests. ibe aVidities! ne in which the message rlgly "exited" of possible lretentiously, tion looms. " iirs. Coming elyn. Xavier nubi Ie girl's Evelyn and om, silently 19 1 experi­r out here! ers - sailed r!) Perhaps lside 's come­relyn's soul! ~ssion? Right 'Is enfeebles elyn noticed ng, 1 flick­ung nymph) 19 necessar-II the same darkness trees and brooding lovers for.bear. highwaymen 175 The wind was a torrent of darkness; Wind filled the cloudy and towering trees. Was the moonlit moor not unlovely, And a cloudy moor not ungood? Blackness, brooding torrent, and not ungood yet evil Lovers of towering unlovely blackness - evil indeed! Forbear darkness, trees and brooding lovers!I Forbear, highwayman! once upon a midnight dreary upon a wintry cyclone I s blackness a wintry raven soared with midnight cyclones soared cursing endless dreary blackness with endless nevermores Once upon a midnight dreary Upon a wintry cyclone's blackness A wintry raven soared, With midnight cyclones soared, Cursing endless dreary blackness With endless Nevermores. Lipograms Lipograms come in many varieties, but I don't recall seeing a half-alphabet one written with the vowels AEIOUY and the rarest letters BJKQVXZ: Ave by iVY, by oak above ye abbey! Via aqua bayou by kayak-jib above bay I've a job by ax qua bazook a above a quay. I jab a buoy. "Qui vive!" 1 eye a bevy! Bike-babe, you joke a bib-boy eke I be. By a jazzy juke-box, yea above oboe jive You quiz a book. By a queue I evoke a jibe. Baby, 1 buy you bijoux. You obey. Above a bee-buzz I joke. Boozy ex-beaux vie. "Quake, booze-beak! Boo! Oyez, a yoke you eye!" By Jove, 1 vex a boob - viz., ex-beau by you! By a ivy eave you be - 1 buy you eke a key ­Bake ox, yak, ibex, boa - yea, a zoo. Viva, 0 Baby! Viva Eve! 0 joy! - 1 be by you! Song of the Frozen Fjord Many years ago, 1 decided to see how much 1 could flatten out the ETAOIN SRHLDC letter-distribution while retaining a modicum of sense and story. In normal English text, 130 Es occur for every Z; in the poem below, the commonest letter (still E) occurs only 8.1 times as often as the rarest (M). The four rarest letters, JQXZ, have collectively been raised from a near-invisible 0.006 to a robust 0.090. 176 Where xanthic jonquils crazyquilt the quartz ­Exotic exquisites and kiss-and-tells, The quizzing jynx among the quick cavorts, And zephyrs jog those buxom jezebels. The brook' s jazz jukebox-rhythms freeze the fjord. Its twinkling crystals jinx the vivid fox. But Deja Vu, Pickwickian still - and bored, Sca tters svelte nymphs from her dazzling knickknack box. Why waltz the fjord jejune, my fluffy minx? Dark blizzards vex thy quaint quixotic child. Why skate? The night I s black flakes have squelched the sphinx And vanquished the savvy of wizards in the wild ... Sylph of the poppy-stippled velvet veld Whose body bobs to a warbling xylophone, Afar thine urchin, quivering, unbeheld, Keeps tryst with the frenzied frigid north a lone. Haiku Wordplay Back in 1964, I discovered the beautiful palindromic phrase "goldenrod-adorned log". Dmitri Borgmann later extended this to "Nora, alert, saws goldenrod-adorned logs, wastrel Aaron", which I thought was excellent. A couple of years ago when Henry Rath­von wanted to run a Four Star Puzzler palindrome contest, he called me to ask for suggestions. I proposed that he make it a palindromic haiku contest, and gave him the example below in which Nora works whi le Aaron bums around. However, he eventually decided against the contest, probably because he thought it would be too difficult. Smart Nora, alert Saw s goldenrod-adorned logs. Wastrel Aaron trams. However, it's not difficult to construct uni vocalic haikus; here are two which can be called The Haiku of Eyes and the Haiku of Ewes, together with an adaptation of an a-invariant sentence originally sent me by Leigh Mercer: In twilight this spring Girls with miniskirts will swim 1n string bikinis. Unsung succubus, Must lust I s susurrus clutch us Untruthful gurus? Sons of God - no boor! Old orthodox Oxford dons Know good port from poor. And how about an automynorcagrammatic one? Haiku artisans lnterpret kaleidoscopes Unforgettab ly. Two lnterac The folll each spell~ of its own Darling . A rev( ting xenc Your 1 ing emb Alex! So 1 but im Loved noble gi out us, Dearest 1 Really zea lous eternally phobic h Truly, devoted of us, Quite ur ing I'm ever odic Lipograms As a sad r Dad says, Sans sun a Nay, Dann: a moon - ( And may m Yon odd mi Did annoy Tsetse due' Yes, testy Yet, as da At a dusty We and Da We see de'" Sand and Wednesday We send a' ~box. the sphinx omic phrase ded this to Iron", which Henry Rath­contest, he make it a Ie below in e eventually ~ht it would aikus i here the Haiku tnt sentence 177 Two Interacting Self-Replicating Texts The following two love letters are reciproca 1 au tomynorcagram s; each spells out the letters of the other using the initial letters of its own words; Darling Elizabeth, A revolting exhibition started today at Louisville. Equivoca­ting xenophobes rioted everywhere, argUing like luna tics. Your lonely one - vulnerable ever - is vexed, Eliza beth. Need­ing embraceable voluptuous Elizabeth's rich gorgeousness, roils Alex! So - painfully enervated, dejected - exotic xanthic healths I but imbibed, trusting in others not sober. Loved one! - virtuous Elizabeth! - my artless, kind ingenue! noble girl! - inexcusably, my zymurgical escape (alack!) left ou t us, Sweetheart! Alex. Dearest Alex, Really, Love, I've never grasped expositions. Lovemaking I'm zealous about - but extinguish terrible hatefulness and rancor eternally, voila! - or let this innocent nubile girl expire. Xeno­phobic hatred indeed! - banish it! Truly, 1 - obedient nun, sexy temptress and ravished toy (ever devoted to Ovid) - do adore you, Alex' Talking loquaciously of us, I've solemnly vowed in local lighthouses equal emotions! Quite unj ustly, ignoramuses vented only catca lls, Alex, testify­ing I'm no good! Xanthippe endured no obloquies puk ier, how­ever odious, by even Socrates resented! I'm only thine, Elizabeth. Lipograms on the Days of the Week As a sad nun assays a dandy's duds, Dad says, "A sandy Sunday Sans sun and sand and us? Nay, Danny! Add sunny suds! II o moon - any moon! - damn my mood anon, And may many a moon add doom; Yon odd madman and a mod mad madonna Did annoy my Mom and Dad on a Monday noon. Tsetse duets tasted Dad's suet ­Yes, testy tsetse sestets sad. Yet, as dated essay sets' due date stayed Tuesday, At a dusty settee sat Dad. We and Dan (a den Dad) yawn. We see dew, and wade; we see a new Eden dawn. Sand and seed was seen, and a wand we saw sewn. Wednesday we wed Dean (a Swede) and Wanda (a Dane); We send away sadness's dead-weed seed, 178 Wend a new way, and sway Sweden t s need and deed. Hush! A thrush at a shady ash! Tarry as star rays durst! Thus, at that ashtray, Shy Ruth stays at Dad I s shut hut I s sash (A Thursday rut at a dusty sash). Ah shush! Rats rush, Taut rats thrash, rash rats dash! Ah ruddy rats at Dad's yard, Dad's trash, Stay thy stray, thy hasty thrust That - hard as Truth's rusty shards - hurts! Did arid air dry a fir? Did a ray afar fry a riffraff dairy raid? Did I, afraid, aid Aida - a fairy fay? Dad, if a fad array did fray fair Aida, I - a daffy friar - fry a Friday diary! Stay, starry Su! Tarry as star rays durst! Su - starry as ruddy - stay, tarry! As Dad's sad dusty duds truss us, Trust Dad! - trust us! ­As rats trust ratty rats at dastard's trysts. (Ra ts, Dad r Su' s astray! That's Saturday!) Ta-ta, Su! Notice that SATURDAY is contained in THURSDAY. It would be much easier to write anti-lipograms on the days of the week, using the letters which do not appear in the day being described. In this connection, someone once asked what is as rare as a Friday in June. The answer, of course, is a Sunday in October. DMlTRI A. Dayton, Wa~ The socii is one by bet soup. ren, it is pressionabl( As a publi solutions to 1. Fill t eaters are dy scholan able words conversant ing himself in his soup 2. Form upon being opening thE in the soup 3. Have The soup e the blindfo any possibl t i ve, let th or some ot soup, he r or for des: if you will 4. Make Then, magi letters apF polarizatior make it imI 5. Enca~ sort. No 01 going to kr 6. Have of a blank sign whate forming wl 

Kickshaws

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Kickshaws

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