In the fundamental relationship of two, that made up of the mother and her baby, the first relationship takes place, the relationship that each mother establishes with her child and that acts as a lever in order to enter into relationship with the world. In this article I want to think and speak about that relationship when the child is a girl, that is, when she was given birth to as the same sex as her mother. To look at the mother-daughter relationship beyond judging it in terms of good or bad (separating ourselves from the temptation to idealize or demonise her) allows us to leave behind the dichotomy of “confusion-separation” in the relationship with one’s own mother and to find, thus, the order of meaning of our life