Thrust into the chaos of freshman orientation, you met more people than you could remember. You tried to remember their name, major, hometown…and preferred personal pronoun? Chances are, probably not

Biehl, Isaac

Fitzgerald, Nailah

Vipond, Rachel

English

Thrust into the chaos of freshman orientation, you met more people than you could remember. You tried to remember their name, major, hometown…and preferred personal pronoun? Chances are, probably not.</p

Digital Repository @ Iowa State University (ISU)

24 ethosmagazine.orgT hrust into the chaos of freshman orientation, you met more people than you could remember. You tried to remember their name, major, hometown…and preferred personal pronoun? Chances are, probably not.Preferred pronouns aren’t the sexiest topic, but they’re an important one. Katy Jaekel, a professor of queer studies at Iowa State who prefers the pronouns she/her/hers, explains that while sex is based on science, gender is “socially constructed—it’s not real.”Whether a person chooses to go by binary—that is, “he” or “she”—pronouns or something less traditional, preferred pronouns can be a crucial part of their identity.  ough it may be an abstract concept for some, learning and using the pronouns a person feels best represents them comes down to respect.Because sex is biological and gender is a social construct, it cannot always be assumed that someone would like to be addressed with traditionally assumed pronouns. In a society obsessed with being politically correct, this may seem like yet another nit-picky thing to keep in mind. What sets personal pronouns apart is their intimate connection with personal identity. “I don’t think that there’s necessarily anything political in calling people what  they want to be called,” Jaekel explains. Hayden Mo  t, a junior in architecture, prefers to be referred to using the gender-neutral pronouns they/their/theirs but has used others over the years.“Growing up, I was never the most comfortable with pronouns, but I didn’t know anything else really existed,” they explain.Experimenting with personal pronouns has given Mo  t the means to better understand themself as well as more options in their gender identity.“I identify as trans, so going by a di erent name and changing my pronouns was a long process,” they say.  “My pronouns still kinda  uctuate […], so the option of neutral pronouns are really cool.”So, what has kept gender-neutral pronouns from catching on? Jaekel explains that a number of factors seem to have slowed their widespread use.Important to note is that there is not just one gender-neutral pronoun. Some choose to go by “they” where others might prefer “ze” or “hu” (pronounced “huh”), says Jaekel.  e issue then becomes integrating them into everyday conversation. Because schools teach children “he” or she” as singular pronouns and “they” as plural, there will likely be those Jaekel refers to as the “knowers,” who have a grasp on grammar and use it to aggressively correct others.“It’s sort of an act of linguistic violence to strip them of their gender,” says Jaekel. You know what they say about people who assume…He said, Ze saidLike Hayden Moffi t, this student expresses her frustration with the default use of binary gender pronouns.Adding that the enforcement of gender-binary pronouns will always leave some people excluded and on the fringes.“Linguistically, we’ve been operating under this gender binary: You are either male or female,” she explains. Gender has been traditionally considered “either/or,” but she says that it’s actually very  uid.Traditional ideas of gender in themselves have slowed the widespread use of gender-neutral pronouns, Jaekel explains.  Because gender has been socially constructed as very rigid, it              can be troubling to feel your gender is being questioned.“A lot of people have a lot of fear that [asking for a person’s pronouns] will be an insult,” Jaekel says. When in reality, “we’re asking a question a lot like names.”Another fear people often have, Jaekel explains, is not knowing how to use the pronouns someone has provided them and ultimately looking foolish. How do you conjugate “ze?” If you don’t know, it may follow that you avoid using it altogether.Savanna Falter, a freshman in pre-industrial design who prefers the pronouns she/her/hers, had not encountered the use of preferred pronouns before college. In a queer studies class, she found herself exposed to a concept of gender and accompanying etiquette she hadn’t before encountered. She made mistakes, especially at  rst, she explains, but found that “you have to just keep training yourself to get it right.”Do people get upset when she makes mistakes? Not really, she says. It all comes down to a person’s intent in their language, Falter explains, noting that people should “keep in mind that you should stay positive, [the person making the mistake was] probably not trying to o end anyone.”Mo  t emphasizes that if a person has good intent, they won’t give them trouble for their mistakes. “ ere’s no reason to make them feel bad about it,” they say. “I feel like that’s the wrong way to go about things.”But, what about when people are malicious, or won’t acknowledge gender-neutral pronouns as legitimate?“People are going to think what they think,” Mo  t says. In the case of adamant refusal to consider the ideal of gender-neutral pronouns, Mo  t feels it is best to evaluate whether or not an argument is worth it. Take a radical religious speaker outside Parks Library, for example.“He can’t convince me that I’m wrong, and I’m not going to be able to convince him [of what I believe],” says Mo  t.While this concept may be discouraging to some, Mo  t says that in their experience, change is very incremental. In situations with people skeptical of their gender-neutral pronouns, Mo  t has found it e ective to “wait for them to want to know on their own time.” ough people may not remember their preferred pronouns all the time, Mo  t says they are happy that people even second-guess and correct themselves when it comes up.It may seem that the concept of preferred pronouns has only gained traction in the more liberal segments of campus, but Falter has found more people than she expected to have some knowledge of them.“I’ve never had anyone that I work with [ask for my pronouns], but I think they might know [if I were to bring it up],” she says.But what if someone questions the validity of preferred pronouns altogether? In unexposed communities, it may take longer for a full understanding of preferred pronouns because people have less of an emotional connection to their use, Mo  t notes.So, if you’re new to the idea of preferred pronouns and don’t know how to go about using them, what’s the best way to start? Jaekel o ers her preferred pronouns to strangers with her name in introductions. She explains that this makes bringing it up a little less weird.“I would like to see anyone in any situation where you need to know names do it,” she says. “Personally, I’ve tried to back away from assuming people’s pronouns,” Mo  t explains, and they choose to use gender-neutral pronouns until someone o ers up their preference.Regardless of personal views, learning about preferred pronouns is important, explains Jaekel.“It would be foolish for us to assume that somebody in this world will not encounter someone who identi es in this community,” she says. She adds that understanding the concept of preferred pronouns could be useful in professional relationships as well.Pronouns have little to do with the opinion of the speaker and a lot to do with respecting another’s personal expression.“Don’t get hung up with labels. Pronouns are about expressing who you feel yourself to be,” says Falter. For more information and answers to questions, Jaekel recommends checking out the LGBTSS Center and visiting its page on the Dean of Students O  ce website. Also available is an “Out to Lunch” series that features “90-minute programs focusing on speci c topics aimed at expanding knowledge covered in Safe Zone 101,” which teaches interested students about LGBTIQA issues. Jaekel encourages learning more about these topics, saying “for me, knowing is better than not knowing.”Conjugations of a Few Gender-Neutral Pronouns:ZeZimZirZirsZirselfTheyThemTheirTheirsThemselfHuHumHusHusHumselfBY RACHEL VIPOND    DESIGN  NAILAH FITZGERALD      PHOTO ISAAC BIEHL25T hrust into the chaos of freshman orientation, you met more people than you could remember. You tried to remember their name, major, hometown…and preferred personal pronoun? Chances are, probably not.Preferred pronouns aren’t the sexiest topic, but they’re an important one. Katy Jaekel, a professor of queer studies at Iowa State who prefers the pronouns she/her/hers, explains that while sex is based on science, gender is “socially constructed—it’s not real.”Whether a person chooses to go by binary—that is, “he” or “she”—pronouns or something less traditional, preferred pronouns can be a crucial part of their identity.  ough it may be an abstract concept for some, learning and using the pronouns a person feels best represents them comes down to respect.Because sex is biological and gender is a social construct, it cannot always be assumed that someone would like to be addressed with traditionally assumed pronouns. In a society obsessed with being politically correct, this may seem like yet another nit-picky thing to keep in mind. What sets personal pronouns apart is their intimate connection with personal identity. “I don’t think that there’s necessarily anything political in calling people what  they want to be called,” Jaekel explains. Hayden Mo  t, a junior in architecture, prefers to be referred to using the gender-neutral pronouns they/their/theirs but has used others over the years.“Growing up, I was never the most comfortable with pronouns, but I didn’t know anything else really existed,” they explain.Experimenting with personal pronouns has given Mo  t the means to better understand themself as well as more options in their gender identity.“I identify as trans, so going by a di erent name and changing my pronouns was a long process,” they say.  “My pronouns still kinda  uctuate […], so the option of neutral pronouns are really cool.”So, what has kept gender-neutral pronouns from catching on? Jaekel explains that a number of factors seem to have slowed their widespread use.Important to note is that there is not just one gender-neutral pronoun. Some choose to go by “they” where others might prefer “ze” or “hu” (pronounced “huh”), says Jaekel.  e issue then becomes integrating them into everyday conversation. Because schools teach children “he” or she” as singular pronouns and “they” as plural, there will likely be those Jaekel refers to as the “knowers,” who have a grasp on grammar and use it to aggressively correct others.“It’s sort of an act of linguistic violence to strip them of their gender,” says Jaekel. You know what they say about people who assume…He said, Ze saidLike Hayden Moffi t, this student expresses her frustration with the default use of binary gender pronouns.Adding that the enforcement of gender-binary pronouns will always leave some people excluded and on the fringes.“Linguistically, we’ve been operating under this gender binary: You are either male or female,” she explains. Gender has been traditionally considered “either/or,” but she says that it’s actually very  uid.Traditional ideas of gender in themselves have slowed the widespread use of gender-neutral pronouns, Jaekel explains.  Because gender has been socially constructed as very rigid, it              can be troubling to feel your gender is being questioned.“A lot of people have a lot of fear that [asking for a person’s pronouns] will be an insult,” Jaekel says. When in reality, “we’re asking a question a lot like names.”Another fear people often have, Jaekel explains, is not knowing how to use the pronouns someone has provided them and ultimately looking foolish. How do you conjugate “ze?” If you don’t know, it may follow that you avoid using it altogether.Savanna Falter, a freshman in pre-industrial design who prefers the pronouns she/her/hers, had not encountered the use of preferred pronouns before college. In a queer studies class, she found herself exposed to a concept of gender and accompanying etiquette she hadn’t before encountered. She made mistakes, especially at  rst, she explains, but found that “you have to just keep training yourself to get it right.”Do people get upset when she makes mistakes? Not really, she says. It all comes down to a person’s intent in their language, Falter explains, noting that people should “keep in mind that you should stay positive, [the person making the mistake was] probably not trying to o end anyone.”Mo  t emphasizes that if a person has good intent, they won’t give them trouble for their mistakes. “ ere’s no reason to make them feel bad about it,” they say. “I feel like that’s the wrong way to go about things.”But, what about when people are malicious, or won’t acknowledge gender-neutral pronouns as legitimate?“People are going to think what they think,” Mo  t says. In the case of adamant refusal to consider the ideal of gender-neutral pronouns, Mo  t feels it is best to evaluate whether or not an argument is worth it. Take a radical religious speaker outside Parks Library, for example.“He can’t convince me that I’m wrong, and I’m not going to be able to convince him [of what I believe],” says Mo  t.While this concept may be discouraging to some, Mo  t says that in their experience, change is very incremental. In situations with people skeptical of their gender-neutral pronouns, Mo  t has found it e ective to “wait for them to want to know on their own time.” ough people may not remember their preferred pronouns all the time, Mo  t says they are happy that people even second-guess and correct themselves when it comes up.It may seem that the concept of preferred pronouns has only gained traction in the more liberal segments of campus, but Falter has found more people than she expected to have some knowledge of them.“I’ve never had anyone that I work with [ask for my pronouns], but I think they might know [if I were to bring it up],” she says.But what if someone questions the validity of preferred pronouns altogether? In unexposed communities, it may take longer for a full understanding of preferred pronouns because people have less of an emotional connection to their use, Mo  t notes.So, if you’re new to the idea of preferred pronouns and don’t know how to go about using them, what’s the best way to start? Jaekel o ers her preferred pronouns to strangers with her name in introductions. She explains that this makes bringing it up a little less weird.“I would like to see anyone in any situation where you need to know names do it,” she says. “Personally, I’ve tried to back away from assuming people’s pronouns,” Mo  t explains, and they choose to use gender-neutral pronouns until someone o ers up their preference.Regardless of personal views, learning about preferred pronouns is important, explains Jaekel.“It would be foolish for us to assume that somebody in this world will not encounter someone who identi es in this community,” she says. She adds that understanding the concept of preferred pronouns could be useful in professional relationships as well.Pronouns have little to do with the opinion of the speaker and a lot to do with respecting another’s personal expression.“Don’t get hung up with labels. Pronouns are about expressing who you feel yourself to be,” says Falter. For more information and answers to questions, Jaekel recommends checking out the LGBTSS Center and visiting its page on the Dean of Students O  ce website. Also available is an “Out to Lunch” series that features “90-minute programs focusing on speci c topics aimed at expanding knowledge covered in Safe Zone 101,” which teaches interested students about LGBTIQA issues. Jaekel encourages learning more about these topics, saying “for me, knowing is better than not knowing.”Conjugations of a Few Gender-Neutral Pronouns:ZeZimZirZirsZirselfTheyThemTheirTheirsThemselfHuHumHusHusHumself

He said, Ze said

https://dr.lib.iastate.edu/handle/20.500.12876/32860

He said, Ze said

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