Adapted from: Matthews, Wayne. "The Time-Stress Connection." Balancing Work and Family Series. Columbus, Ohio: The Ohio State University Cooperative Extension Service; and Plain Talk about…Handling Stress. Rockville, Maryland: National Institute of Mental Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.Emily Mark & Katey Walker, Stress management, Kansas State University, December 1997

Mark, Emily

Walker, Doris K.

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1ManagingTIMEWORK&FAMILY▼FACT SHEET▼Kansas State University Agricultural Experiment Station and Cooperative Extension ServiceIf you try to manage both work and family responsibilities, youknow the meaning of stress. Stress occurs when your child, whoshould be ready to leave for school, can’t find his or her shoes.Or, when you get a questioning look from your boss after yourchild calls you for the third time in an hour.Learning about stress, its impact on your body, and how to dealwith its effects can help you manage both work and familyresponsibilities.What Is Stress?Medically speaking, stress is the rate of wear and tear on yourbody caused by living. It is the physical, mental and chemicaladjustments that your body makes in accordance to thecircumstances of your life.In other words, stress is a response to what is happening aroundyou. It is the process the body uses to keep balance and sustainlife when various demands are made on you.Some stress is necessary to motivate us and add spice to ourlives. But, when the demands of your life exceed your resources,you experience too much stress and can experience damagingeffects.Stress can be good, as well as bad for you. It is like electricity. Itcan warm you and light up your life, or it can give you a fatalcharge. Regardless, stress is always with you.The important issue is learning how your body responds to thedemands of stress. When stress becomes prolonged orparticularly frustrating, it becomes harmful—causing distress or“bad stress.”Recognizing the early signs of distress, and doing somethingabout them, can make an important difference in the quality ofyour life and your ability to manage both work and familyresponsibilities.Sources of StressStress comes from a variety of sources, ranging from a sick childto an angry employer.The sources of stress can be grouped into four major categories.1. Customary, anticipated life events. These events representthe changes that take place throughout life: graduating from highschool, marriage, returning to work after the birth of a child, etc.These events can be influenced, but not totally controlled, bypersonal decisions. Normally, they cause a positive andStressManagementOutdated Publication, for historical use. CAUTION: Recommendations in this publication may be obsolete.2stimulating form of stress. Symptoms of distress may beexperienced when several events cluster into a short time period,or when you resist the changes represented by the events.2. Unexpected life events. These events are the tragedies and“shocks” of life: being involved in an accident, being the victim ofa crime, the sudden death of a loved one, etc.These stressors usually occur to you suddenly, without warning,and are not in your control. The stress symptoms that result areoften sudden, and sometimes severe.Normally, however, such symptoms do not become chronic. Withthe passage of time, we heal and the symptoms are relieved.3. Progressive, accumulating events. These represent theeveryday strains of life. Especially stressful are the unresolvedconflicts in close relationships: ongoing conflicts with a spouse,continuing parent-child friction, long-term care for a disabledrelative, boredom with a career path, etc.The symptoms of stress exhaustion resulting from these factorsdevelop slowly. And, because they develop over time, thesymptoms are not easily relieved. The intensity of thesepressures often seems to gain momentum, and the “victims” feelincreasingly worn out and unable to cope.4. Personal trait stress. This is the self-imposed stress that iscaused by perfectionism, insecurity, lack of self-confidence, andfeelings of jealousy or inadequacy. It is the only source of stresswhich you have total control over.Stress caused by low self-esteem impacts all daily situations andinfluences all interactions. Sufferers often become anxiousworriers and are plagued by feelings of fear and disease.These symptoms can be chronic and lifelong unless the sourceof the stress—negative feelings about oneself—is changed.Health ProblemsResearch studies have shown that a single stressful event, even areally upsetting one, usually will not cause a great deal ofphysical or emotional damage. But, when several stressful eventsoccur in a short period of time—called a stress pile-up—any one ofa variety of unhealthy effects can be produced.Damaging stress has been related to asthma, ulcers, cancer,headaches, heart disease and stroke, rheumatoid arthritis—evento the common cold and other infectious diseases.Learning more about stress and developing ways to manage itare positive health investments. There are many things that youcan do to defend yourself against the effects of too much stress.Outdated Publication, for historical use. CAUTION: Recommendations in this publication may be obsolete.3Steps for Reducing StressWhen stress occurs, it is important to recognize and deal with it.Following are some ways to handle stress. As you begin tounderstand more about how stress affects you as an individual,you will invent your own ideas about how to help ease tension.• Turn to physical activity. When you are nervous, angry orupset, release the pressure through exercise or physicalactivity. Running, walking, tennis, or working in your gardenare some of the activities you can try. Physical exercise willrelieve that “up tight” feeling, relax you, and may turn yourfrowns into smiles.Remember, your body and mind work together. A regularroutine of physical exercise will help to relieve the dailysymptoms of stress.• Locate the source of your stress. You need to look insideyourself, as well as outside. Remember, spending too muchtime analyzing your feelings may make them look bigger thanthey really are. This, in itself, can make you more tense.• Share your concerns with others. It may help to talk tosomeone. Perhaps a friend, family member, teacher orcounselor can help you see the problem in a different light.If you feel your problem is serious, you can seek professionalhelp from a psychologist, psychiatrist or social worker.Knowing when to ask for help may avoid more seriousproblems later.• Know your limits. If a problem is beyond your control andcannot be changed at the moment, do not fight the situation.Learn to accept what you cannot realistically change.Sometimes it will be appropriate to take action and removethe stress. But, for other times you may need to change yourattitude and live with the situation. Whatever decision youmake, do not waste time wondering whether or not you havemade the right one.• Take care of yourself. You are important. Get enough restand eat well. If you are irritable and tense from lack of sleep,or if you are not eating correctly, you will have less ability todeal with stressful situations. If stress repeatedly keeps youfrom sleeping or eating, you should ask your doctor for help.Try to:—Eat regular meals and snacks.—Reduce or eliminate caffeine.—Consume more water.—Exercise regularly.—Limit your intake of alcohol and other addictive drugs.Outdated Publication, for historical use. CAUTION: Recommendations in this publication may be obsolete.4• Make time for fun. Balance work with recreation byscheduling time for yourself. Do something you really enjoy,whether it is bird watching, fishing, bowling, needlework,woodworking, etc.You need to participate in some type of recreation that relaxesyou and also brings deep enjoyment. This helps you face yourdaily frustrations more calmly.Play can be just as important to your well-being as work; youneed a break from your daily routine to just relax and have fun.• Check off your tasks. Trying to take care of everything atonce can seem overwhelming. As a result, you may notaccomplish anything.Instead, make a list of what tasks you have to do, and do themone at a time. Remember to do the most important tasks first,and check them off as they are completed.Also consider delegating tasks that can be done by otherpeople. Remember—YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE THE ONE TODO EVERYTHING!!!• Don’t always insist on being “right.” Do other peopleupset you—particularly when they don’t do things your way?Try cooperation instead of confrontation. It is better thanfighting and always being “right.” A little give and take onboth sides will reduce the strain and make both of you feelmore comfortable.• Get away from it for a while. When tensions mount andmake you too emotional to think clearly or to make wisedecisions, you should get away.There are many ways of doing this—going into the next roomfor a few minutes, counting to fifty, or putting the decisionaside until later. Often problems have a way of solvingthemselves when we leave them for awhile.• Create a quiet scene. You may not be able to run away, butyou can “dream the impossible dream.” A quiet scene paintedmentally can take you out of the turmoil of a stressful situation.Read a good book or play beautiful music to create a sense ofpeace and tranquility.• Avoid self-medication. If you load up on tranquilizers inevery stressful situation, you will never be able to solve yourproblems. Knowing how to handle tension-producing timescomes only with practice.Practice comes only from dealing with the problem, not fromtaking a pill and ignoring it. Contact your physician if you feelyou cannot cope.Outdated Publication, for historical use. CAUTION: Recommendations in this publication may be obsolete.5• Learn to relax—SMILE! There are times when putting on ahappy face, even though you do not feel like it, will easetension and will begin to make you feel much more relaxed. Ifthe smile can turn into a hearty laugh, tension will fly out ofthe window.Part of the secret is to not take ourselves too seriously. The otherpart is to assume the attitude that, “this too shall pass.”ConclusionThere is nothing you can do to totally eliminate stress from yourlife—you would not want that. Stress is important when it isunder control. It keeps you alert and keeps you from being bored.However, when stress starts to have a negative effect on yourlife, it is important to determine the source of your stress andconsider ways to lessen the impact on you.Adapted from:Matthews, Wayne. “The Time-Stress Connection.” BalancingWork and Family Series. Columbus, Ohio: The Ohio StateUniversity Cooperative Extension Service.Plain Talk about...Handling Stress. Rockville, Maryland: NationalInstitute of Mental Health, U.S. Department of Health andHuman Services.DEVELOPED BY THE “MANAGINGTIME, WORK AND FAMILY” TEAM:Katey Walker, Extension Specialist, FamilyResources & Public PolicyEmily Mark, Extension Specialist, Family &Consumer Sciences, NortheastLaurie Chandler, CED, Shawnee Co.Fran Richmond, CEA, FACS, Osage Co.Denise Sullivan, CEA, FACS, Leavenworth Co.and Support StaffOutdated Publication, for historical use. CAUTION: Recommendations in this publication may be obsolete.6Contents of this publication may be freely reproduced for educational purposes. All other rights are reserved. In each case, credit Emily Mark & Katey Walker, “Managing Time, Work & Family,”Kansas State University, December 1997.Kansas State University Agricultural Experiment Station and Cooperative Extension Service, Manhattan, KansasMF-2253 December 1997Issued in f5urtherance of Cooperative Extension Work, acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914, as amended.  Kansas State University, County Extension Councils, Extension Districts, and United StatesDepartment of Agriculture Cooperating, Richard D. Wootton, Associate Director.It is the policy of Kansas State University Agricultural Experiment Station and Cooperative Extension Service that all persons shall have equal opportunity and access to its educational programs,services, activities, and materials without regard to race, color, religion, national origin, sex, age or disability.  Kansas State University is an Affirmative Action employer.  These materials may beavailable in alternative formats.File Code: Family Resource Management—4 CS 12/97—150Outdated Publication, for historical use. CAUTION: Recommendations in this publication may be obsolete.

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