Gorham, Liz

English

DigitalCommons@USU

A weekly question/answer column Do You Have Tips On Discussing PropertyDistributionLiz Gorham* answers:Though it is not easy to talk about who will get what upon a loved one's death, it isimportant to discuss it and document it so that intentions are made clear. Lack of communicationand planning can lead to inaccurate assumptions, unresolved family tension and relationshipstruggles. As families gather this season, consider discussing the topic to improvecommunication. There are two specific types of property. Titled property refers to items where ownershipis identified by a written document. Such items include real estate, savings and checkingaccounts, vehicles, machinery and stocks and bonds. Non-titled property includes items such asfurniture, handmade items, jewelry, antiques, and collections. The transfer of non-titled propertyseems to cause the greatest emotional upheaval, since these are often objects that havesentimental meaning to more than one person. Distribution of these items can be less clear thanfor titled property. To avoid or manage conflict regarding non-titled property transfer, try thesestrategies. • Recognize sensitivities. Some family members may be facing their own or another'smortality, or may fear how their motives are interpreted. Who is the best person in thefamily to bring up the subject? • Think about what the family wants to achieve. Do you want to preserve memories,improve relationships, maintain privacy, be fair to all involved or contribute to society? • Understand that people have different perceptions of what is fair. Some common rulesoften considered in non-titled transfers include: 1) The equity rule where everyone getsthe same number of items, dollar value, emotional value, or an equal chance to“purchase” items. 2) The contributions rule where gifts, informal help, money, caregiving and emotional support are taken into account. 3) The needs rule where distributionis based on who has the greatest financial, physical, emotional or basic living needs. 4)The differences among family members rule, which is based on birth order, age, gender,marital status, geographic location or personal interest in an item. • Clarify the process to be used in determining what is fair. Decide who makes the rules,how value is determined, and what methods will be used for standards and consistency.Understand that the meaning of things will differ due to age, gender and personality.When disagreements occur, communicate openly and work to overcome the problem.• Act on the decisions made. Label items and keep a written list. Update the will anddistribute items to family members or inform them of intentions. Also consider theoptions to gift, give away or sell items. • Contact your local County Extension office (listed under Utah State University Extensionin the white pages) for more information on the subject. “Who Gets Grandma’s YellowPie Plate?” is a video available with worksheets to help guide you through the process ofmaking non-titled property transfers. * Liz Gorham is Utah State University Extension Family Resource Specialist 

Do You Have Tips On Discussing Property Distribution?

https://digitalcommons.usu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1286&amp;context=extension_histall

Do You Have Tips On Discussing Property Distribution?

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