Adapted from: Johnson, Diane E. "Getting Kids to Help around the House," Balancing Work and Family State Notebook.  Columbus, Ohio: The Ohio State University Cooperative Extension Service.Emily Mark & Katey Walker, Getting children to help, Kansas State University, December 1997

Mark, Emily

Walker, Doris K.

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1ManagingTIMEWORK&FAMILY▼FACT SHEET▼Many families today do not have a stay-at-home parent. Becauseof this, and because children need the training and responsibilityof doing household chores, it is important that all familymembers help with the work at home.Children often resist doing work around the house because theydo not agree about what is fair. Parents may not give the childrenchores because it is easier to do the job themselves.Today’s families need to work together so that all familymembers share in the household management responsibilities.The Case for Family ChoresWork, family activities, personal interests and communityresponsibilities keep families twice as busy as they used to be. Inorder to keep a home running smoothly, all family membersshould share the responsibilities. Also, a parent should considerthe benefits children receive from working around the house.Doing family chores helps children:• Increase their ability to be responsible.• Build self-esteem and self-confidence.• Learn necessary life skills that will help them when they havetheir own homes.• Learn to prioritize, organize and use their time wisely.One of the primary goals of parenting is to teach our children tobe responsible, confident, happy and independent adults.Nine Steps for Getting Childrento Assume Responsibilities at HomeThere is no absolutely reliable method to get children to helparound the house. However, there are suggestions that maymotivate children to do household chores.Here are nine steps that may help you develop a system ofshared, home-management responsibilities.Step 1: Initiate a family discussion.• Find out from the children which jobs they think need to bedone and which ones they like or dislike.• Make a list of everyone’s ideas.— Be as specific as possible. For example, rather than listing,“clean bedroom,” write down individual tasks: “make bed,”“pick up toys,” “place dirty clothes in hamper,” etc.Getting Childrento HelpKansas State University Agricultural Experiment Station and Cooperative Extension ServiceOutdated Publication, for historical use. CAUTION: Recommendations in this publication may be obsolete.2— Decide which jobs need to be done daily, weekly or monthly.If some tasks are being done more than necessary, decidehow to handle these jobs in the future.Step 2: Decide who will do what jobs.• Review who is currently responsible for household chores. Is onefamily member doing more than the others? Is there a betterway to divide the chores?• Each family member can be responsible for his or her own room,clothes, etc. Other jobs can be divided.• Let everyone develop a fair system of assigning tasks. Forexample, write tasks on colored paper—blue for daily tasks andyellow for weekly tasks. Have each family member choose onecolor, or alternate weeks or days for particular tasks.• Try not to assign disliked tasks to the same family member anymore often than necessary.• Do not assign a task to one child simply because that child doesa better job than his or her siblings. Remember, practice makesperfect for the others.• Avoid dividing jobs into male and female tasks. Everyone needsto learn a variety of household-management skills.Step 3: Teach children the necessary skills.It is important to have children develop the skills necessary tocomplete their chores.• Show each child how to do each job.• Make sure he or she knows how to operate equipment safely.• Work with your child until he or she can do it well.• Observe the child until the job is completed.• Make any necessary corrections.• Offer compliments generously.• Show how to do something differently, only if necessary.Step 4. Agree on acceptable standards & work quality.Everyone has different ideas about what constitutes a “clean” room.• Be specific when setting up chores so that everyoneunderstands what is expected.• Discuss and reach an agreement on standards with your child.— Allow your child to have input.— Lower your standard of cleanliness, if necessary.Outdated Publication, for historical use. CAUTION: Recommendations in this publication may be obsolete.3Step 5: Create a user-friendly home.Teach your children how to be organized.• Show them how to reduce work by putting things away—notdown. It is easier to hang up a jacket as soon as its removed,rather than pick it up off the floor and put it away later.• Teach them to combine tasks. For example, children can setthe table for breakfast while putting away the supper dishes.• Teach your children about the usefulness of clocks, calendarsand lists. Help them organize their time by showing themhow to make a “to-do” list.• Provide functional, easy-to-use equipment.• Decide how you can make each room in your house moremanageable and functional. An organized house creates anatmosphere in which everyone can do their householdchores without a fuss.Step 6: Set a deadline for the work to be done.After you and your children have discussed the division ofresponsibilities, it is important to talk about a chore deadline.To help your children learn how to manage chores, encouragethem to make reasonable suggestions.• Deadlines should be agreeable to both you and yourchildren.• Be fair and reasonable. Once a schedule is set, do not varyit . You may end up arguing with your children if they alwaysask to put off the chores in order to play outside, etc.Step 7: Decide on the rewards for a job done well,and the consequences of not completing tasks.A family meeting to talk specifically about the responsibilities,and the consequences of not fulfilling them, may work for yourfamily. The key is to discuss this before a problem occurs, andeveryone knows what to expect. It is important to agree uponthe consequences in advance and consistently apply them.Step 8: Be a good role model.One mother who is particularly successful at getting herchildren to help around the house shared this tip, “Children willdo what they are trained to do. The secret is you, the parent. Ifyou expect your child to make his or her bed, be certain thatyour bed is made too.”Outdated Publication, for historical use. CAUTION: Recommendations in this publication may be obsolete.4Step 9: Make sure everyone has time for fun andenjoyment, and time to pursue their own interests.The reason for sharing household tasks is to give the family moretime together, and to have more time for accomplishingindividual goals. Make sure that chores do not become drudgery.Many parents think it is easier to do the work themselves ratherthan train children to share the responsibilities. It does require atime investment to train and discuss what is expected.Some children will try to make their parents feel guilty when theyare asked to share in the household responsibilities. Remember,you are doing yourself and your children a disservice when youdo all of the housework!Parents need to be willing to delegate, train, follow through and,above all, set a good example for their children.ConclusionWho wants to do all the household work themselves?The parents don’t, and the children certainly don’t.Because everyone is busy, all family members need to be trainedand given responsibility for work in the home. It makes sense toshare household-management responsibilities.To be successful in working together, you should follow the ninesteps which were previously discussed. With a little luck, and thecooperation of all family members, you too can reap the rewardsby having a neat and tidy home.Adapted from:Johnson, Diane E. “Getting Kids to Help around the House,”Balancing Work and Family State Notebook. Columbus, Ohio:The Ohio State University Cooperative Extension Service.Contents of this publication may be freely reproduced for educational purposes. All other rights are reserved. In each case, credit Emily Mark & Katey Walker, “Managing Time, Work & Family,”Kansas State University, December 1997.Kansas State University Agricultural Experiment Station and Cooperative Extension Service, Manhattan, KansasMF-2256 December 1997Issued in furtherance of Cooperative Extension Work, acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914, as amended.  Kansas State University, County Extension Councils, Extension Districts, and United StatesDepartment of Agriculture Cooperating, Richard D. Wootton, Associate Director.It is the policy of Kansas State University Agricultural Experiment Station and Cooperative Extension Service that all persons shall have equal opportunity and access to its educational programs,services, activities, and materials without regard to race, color, religion, national origin, sex, age or disability.  Kansas State University is an Affirmative Action employer.  These materials may beavailable in alternative formats.File Code: Family Resource Management—4 CS 12/97—150DEVELOPED BY THE “MANAGINGTIME, WORK AND FAMILY” TEAM:Katey Walker, Extension Specialist, FamilyResources & Public PolicyEmily Mark, Extension Specialist, Family &Consumer Sciences, NortheastLaurie Chandler, CED, Shawnee Co.Fran Richmond, CEA, FACS, Osage Co.Denise Sullivan, CEA, FACS, Leavenworth Co.and Support StaffOutdated Publication, for historical use. CAUTION: Recommendations in this publication may be obsolete.

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