Oke, Akinwumi

English

Andrews University

Journal of Applied Christian LeadershipVolume 6 | Number 1 Article 142012Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When theStakes are High [review] / Patterson, Kerry, JosephGrenny, Ron McMillan, and Al SwitzlerAkinwumi OkeFollow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.andrews.edu/jaclPart of the Leadership Studies CommonsThis Book Review is brought to you for free and open access by Digital Commons @ Andrews University. It has been accepted for inclusion in Journalof Applied Christian Leadership by an authorized editor of Digital Commons @ Andrews University. For more information, please contactrepository@andrews.edu.Recommended CitationOke, Akinwumi (2012) "Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes are High [review] / Patterson, Kerry, JosephGrenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler," Journal of Applied Christian Leadership: Vol. 6: No. 1, 97-98.Available at: https://digitalcommons.andrews.edu/jacl/vol6/iss1/14CRUCIALCONVERSATIONS: TOOLS FOR TALKINGWHEN THE STAKES ARE HIGH By Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny,Ron McMillan, & Al SwitzlerNew York, NY: McGraw-Hill (2012),2nd editionE-Publication, 288 pagesReviewed by AKINWUMI OKEThe ability to engage successfullyin crucial conversations is a definingattribute of effective leadership.Crucial conversations arise in thecourse of our day-to-day activities asa result of our differing opinions,emotions, and the high stakesattached to outcomes of our interper-sonal interactions. The authors ofthis eye-opening book are cofoundersof VitalSmarts and innovators in cor-porate training and organizationalperformance. They argue that “at theheart of almost all chronic problemsin our organizations, our teams, andour relationships lie crucial conversa-tions—ones that we’re either notholding or not holding well” (p. 9).These conversations have significantconsequences for our present andfuture success as effective leaders.Crucial Conversations presents amodel to enable leaders to engage indifficult conversations that result inmultiple benefits to organizations,individuals and relationships. Readers can probably make theirown lists of emotionally charged andpolitically risky subjects that mostpeople would rather avoid. It turnsout that addressing those is one ofthe most important skills a leader can learn. To help in this process, theauthors outline a framework of sevenprinciples for holding crucial conver-sations through the use of dialogue.It starts with a self awareness thatdefines the issue and focuses on thedesired outcomes. The next steps areclosely related to observation skillsaimed at managing divergence ofopinions and heightened emotionalstates that could divert the dialoguefrom “silence to violence.” In work-ing through the stages of learning tolook, making it safe, mastering mystories, stating my path, exploringothers’ paths, and moving to action,the authors describe invaluable skillsfor not only managing the dialogue,but ensuring that the participantsmaintain a steady course of mutualexchange. The benefits can be meas-ured in improved relationships andbetter results for the organization.The fact that crucial conversationsare at the core of most human rela-tionships has significant implicationsfor leaders and followers, becauseleadership—especially authentic andtransformational leadership—relieson a relational approach in whichleaders influence followers in dyads, groups, and organizationalexchanges (Bass & Steidlmeier, 1999;Brower, Schoorman, & Tan, 2000;Burns, 1998). Because leader-memberrelationships are based on trustbuilding as well as a good under-standing of each others’ needs andmotivations, the ability to engage incrucial conversations is a vital skillrequired of leaders in all spheres ofhuman endeavor. The “master my stories” section is an important part of the book forleaders to read. In it they will learnthat, in taking responsibility for airinga view in a manner that does not intim-idate the recipient, one can be assertivewithout having to be confrontationaland putting the other person on thedefensive. By using the “STATE” skillsproffered in the book, leaders learn tocommunicate without being overlyB O O K  R E V I E W A K I N W U M I  O K ETHE JOURNAL OF APPLIED CHRISTIAN LEADERSHIP PAGE  971Oke: Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes are HighPublished by Digital Commons @ Andrews University, 2012domineering in crucial conversations. In the final analysis, the authors ofCrucial Conversations have provided a very practical guide to workingthrough key moments that define thesuccess and failure of organizationsand teams. Christian leaders will beable to relate many of these principlesto the scriptural injunction to betruthful yet loving, patient yet deci-sive in the right kind of actions. Jesusseems to have mastered those skillsas He pursued His sacrificial missionon earth. His example also shows thatnot all crucial conversations can bemanaged through a dialogical frame-work. But that should not be taken asa license for escalating situations;when not managed well, this oftenproves destructive. This book is also important for thedevelopment and training of emerg-ing leaders. In the past, churcheshave provided good training in theol-ogy but have done less to make sureChristian leaders acquire the crucialtools involved in changing the “mindand heart” when the stakes are highand opinions collide. By sharing thesepowerful crucial conversation toolswith emerging leaders, Christian lead-ers could make a priceless contribu-tion to helping the church andChristian organizations to becometruly transformative.ReferencesBass, B. M., & Steidlmeier, P. (1999). Ethics, character,and authentic transformational leadership behavior. The Leadership Quarterly, 10(2), 181-217. Brower, H. H., Schoorman, F. D., & Tan, H. H. (2000).A model of relational leadership: The integrationof trust and leader-member exchange. TheLeadership Quarterly, 11(2), 227-250. doi:10.1016/s1048-9843(00)00040-0Burns, J. M. (1978). Leadership. New York, NY: Harper& Row.AKINWUMI OKE, Procurement Specialist at theUKAid-funded Education Sector Support Programmein Nigeria (DFID-ESSPIN), is based in Abuja, Nigeria.B O O K  R E V I E W A K I N W U M I  O K EPAGE  98 Vol. 6, No. 1 SPRING 20122Journal of Applied Christian Leadership, Vol. 6 [2012], No. 1, Art. 14https://digitalcommons.andrews.edu/jacl/vol6/iss1/14

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes are High [review] / Patterson, Kerry, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler

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Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes are High [review] / Patterson, Kerry, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler

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