This study was aimed at investigating direct links between peer acceptance and parent-child interactions, and exploring whether subjective experience of the self-in-relation would function as a mediator. A central assumption was that better accepted children are more capable of autonomy-within-connectedness. Eighty kindergartners with a mean age of 60 months and their mothers and fathers (n = 74) participated in the study. The children were selected to be popular, average, or rejected by their peers. Subjective experience was assessed with a Doll Story Completion Task and Cassidy's Puppet Interview (Cassidy, 1988; Ver-schueren, Marcoen, & Schoefs, 1996), and the Pictorial Scales of Perceived Competence and Acceptance (Harter & Pike, 1984). Results showed that better accepted children and their mothers showed a higher balance of control behaviors and were more likely to be simultaneously en-gaged in play. They also tended to share more positive emotions. More control in the father-child interactions was related to lower peer acceptance. In addition, better ac-cepted girls and their fathers were more often dyadically engaged in play, and shared more fantasy play, than less well-accepted girls and fathers. Children who shared more positive emotions with their parents presented parent-child relation-ships as more positive and were more positive about themselves. Interestingly, more control with father was linked to a more negative sense of self for boys, but a more positive sense of self for girls. Because girls tend to be more directed toward con-nectedness from a young age, maybe it is more important to them to develop their autonomy, at kindergarten age. Control between fathers and sons may be more likely to become competitive, which may make boys feel less accepted.
Children who represented parent-child relationships as more secure were better accepted by peers. The connections (especially with father-child security) were stronger for girls. Contrary to expectations, better accepted children were not more positive about themselves. Regression analyses showed that the representation of the mother-child relationship mediated the relation between shared positive emotions and peer acceptance. Controlling for security with mother, peer acceptance was no longer related with shared positive emotions. This study offers one of the first indica-tions that the meaning the child gives to relationships may be more important than specific behaviors by themselves. In the final chapter, findings are discussed and suggestions are made for further theory and research on parent-peer linkages