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Dasgupta, Nabarun

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Ghost in the Machine:The Emotional Gravityof ConductingMortality ResearchNabarun Dasgupta, MPH, PhDABOUT THE AUTHORNabarun Dasgupta, MPH, PhD, is with the Gillings School of Global Public Health and theInjury Prevention Research Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, and is anassociate editor of AJPH.An epidemiology graduate studentrecently demonstrated to me thatanalyzing vital statistics carries occupa-tional hazards. Reviewing overdosemortality data, the studentwas viscerallyreminded of childhood experiencesprecipitated by their father’s substanceuse and undiagnosed mental healthissues. In between neat rows of struc-tureddata, the father’s death reasserteditself, along with the family’s trauma.Although the student’s passion for pub-lic health stemmed from these veryexperiences, the scholastic environmenthad not allowed for expression of thisidentity. Therefore, when distressingfeelings arose, therewas no antecedent.It was a missed opportunity to supporta trainee.The emotional gravity of working withmortality affects seasoned researcherstoo. With a few taps, I can securelyaccess tens of millions of death recordsfrommy phone. These data weigh heavyin my pocket as I go about my day. Aftertwo decades of working with these data,when I duck into a car, I wonder howsoon Imay end up as a death record in arow. Like many others, I can vividlyremember the first time I saw a friend’sdeath record in a data set. (Althoughostensibly anonymized, the circumstan-ces were clear.) I caressed the row withmymouse; I left the window open onmydesktop for days, feeling his presenceemanating through pixels. I do not thinkthese experiences make my researchany less objective. Rather, they hold meaccountable to a higher power.I take regular walks through two his-toric cemeteries flanking my neighbor-hood. I donot knowa soul there;most ofthe people died before people of myethnic background were even allowedinto the country. No causes of death arementioned on the tombstones, yet thedecorative filigree, monumental regalia,family plot spacing, and epitaphs offercommunion across centuries. Why do Ifeel a sense of calm when walking out ofthe cemetery but feel unsettled whenshutting down my computer after daysof analysis? I have come to realizethat highly structured death data arevulnerable to emotional truncation. Theencodedandmedicalizedencapsulationsuits our surveillance needs, their parsi-mony implying that these are the onlyfactors that matter. They are not.Protectionof researchparticipants is astandard concern, but less attention ispaid to the emotional well-being ofanalysts. Compassion fatigue and sec-ondary researcher trauma have beendescribed extensively in qualitativeresearch. Sikic Micanovic et al. providea concise review,1 and Kumar andCavallaro present a useful framework.2Qualitative research emphasizes theinvestigator’s viewpoint and orientationtoward the subject matter because theresearch paradigm fully accepts thatsuch acknowledgment can enrich inter-pretation. However, the dispassionatefaçade of quantitative research blinds usto analysts’ feelings: paradoxically, it isassumed that thousands of deathrecords exert no mental toll. As my per-sonal vignettes suggest, vital statisticsdata also carry emotional weight.Emotional danger is defined as nega-tive “feeling states” induced by theresearch process. This means not justfeeling uncomfortable, but alsomanifesting distress that affects inter-personal relationships.1 By ignoringemotional impacts, we may becompromising our staff and results.Beyond the beguiling cleanliness ofstructured data, every data pointembodies heartache. However, rowsupon rows can lead to inurement. Howdo we retain our humanity? Qualitativeresearchers have suggested journalingthe research experience and engaging instructured debriefing sessions.3 Incorpo-rating researcher well-being should bepart of research design; we must dis-pense with the practice of maskingemotions for the sake of projecting aprofessional posture. Personally, I keepphotographs on my desk of loved oneswho have passed. Sometimes, I light acandle and ask them if I am representingthemwithfidelity. This is oneofmy rituals,and I welcome you to share yours.CORRESPONDENCECorrespondence should be sent to NabarunDasgupta, MPH, PhD, 725 MLK Jr Boulevard, InjuryAJPHSupplement2,2021,Vol111,No.S2S80 Editorial DasguptaOPINIONS, IDEAS, & PRACTICEPrevention Research Center, Chapel Hill, NC,27599 (e-mail: nab@unc.edu). Reprints can beordered at http://www.ajph.org by clicking the“Reprints” link.PUBLICATION INFORMATIONFull Citation: Dasgupta N. Ghost in the machine:the emotional gravity of conducting mortalityresearch. Am J Public Health. 2021;111(S2):S80–S81.Acceptance Date: May 1, 2021.DOI: https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.2021.306378ACKNOWLEDGMENTSI am grateful for the candor of the studentdescribed herein, who reviewed the manuscriptand chose to remain anonymous.CONFLICTS OF INTERESTThe author has no conflicts of interest to disclose.REFERENCES1. Sikic Micanovic L, Stelko S, Sakic S. Who else needsprotection? Reflecting on researcher vulnerability insensitive research. Societies (Basel). 2019;10(1):3.https://doi.org/10.3390/soc100100032. Kumar S, Cavallaro L. Researcher self-care inemotionally demanding research: a proposed con-ceptual framework. Qual Health Res. 2018;28(4):648–658. https://doi.org/10.1177/10497323177463773. Malacrida C. Reflexive journaling on emotionalresearch topics: ethical issues for team research-ers. Qual Health Res. 2007;17(10):1329–1339.https://doi.org/10.1177/1049732307308948AJPHSupplement2,2021,Vol111,No.S2OPINIONS, IDEAS, & PRACTICEEditorial Dasgupta S81

Ghost in the Machine: The Emotional Gravity of Conducting Mortality Research

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Ghost in the Machine: The Emotional Gravity of Conducting Mortality Research

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