All relationships have conflicts (even Norby) because conflict is simply a disagreement.  With this in mind, students experience conflict with parents, professors, friends, and roommates. This session will introduce some basic relationship definitions and walk students through how to handle and resolve conflict.  After this session, students will know what to do when they experience conflict and be challenged to see conflict as an opportunity to improve rather than damage their relationships

Robertson, Bruce

English

St. Norbert College

St. Norbert CollegeDigital Commons @ St. Norbert CollegeGateway's Pilot Year Gateway Seminar9-26-2017Session 11: Relationships and ConflictBruce RobertsonSt. Norbert CollegeFollow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.snc.edu/gateway_2017Part of the Curriculum and Instruction Commons, and the Higher Education CommonsThis Administrative Document is brought to you for free and open access by the Gateway Seminar at Digital Commons @ St. Norbert College. It hasbeen accepted for inclusion in Gateway's Pilot Year by an authorized administrator of Digital Commons @ St. Norbert College. For more information,please contact sarah.titus@snc.edu.Recommended CitationRobertson, Bruce, "Session 11: Relationships and Conflict" (2017). Gateway's Pilot Year. 5.https://digitalcommons.snc.edu/gateway_2017/5Session 11: Relationships and Conflict Person responsible for developing this session: Bruce Robertson THREE KEY POINTS/LEARNING OUTCOMES 1. Students will learn that conflict is normal, part of every relationship, and a GOOD thing! 2. Students will learn that conflict is nothing more than a ​dis​agreement that if addressed directly is an opportunity to improve the relationship. 3. Students will learn a basic process that involves each person stating what their feelings, expectations,and wants are to each other and then choosing to do things either person A’s way, person B’s way, or coming up with a mutually agreed upon third way to do it.  To Print/Prepare for Session 1. Review PowerPoint and Video 2. 3’-5’ Rope, if using  1. Session Title: Relationships and Conflict 2. Session Date: Tuesday, September 26, 2017 3. Plenary or Small Group? Small Group 4.  ​Learning Outcomes  a. Demonstrate interpersonal skills consistent with student success. i. Communicate their needs effectively and consistently. ii. Differentiate healthy relationships (their own or others’) from unhealthy relationships. iii. Manage conflict successfully and constructively. 5. Other Goals​, if applicable (these are goals not directly connected to student learning – e.g. forming group cohesion or identifying which students may be struggling to transition.) 6. Brief Narrative​ describing the session (3 – 5 sentences offering the leaders a general sense of what will take place on this date.)  All relationships have conflicts (even Norby) because conflict is simply a disagreement.  With this in mind, students experience conflict with parents, professors, friends, and roommates. This session will introduce some basic relationship definitions and walk students through how to handle and resolve conflict.  After this session, students will know what to do when they experience conflict and be challenged to see conflict as an opportunity to improve rather than damage their relationships.  1 Relationships and Conflict Outline (there are also notes embedded in the google slides)  Prior to Session take attendance, etc then begin google slides presentation on “Relationships and Conflict”  with a brief discussion of conflict is normal in all relationships and if dealt with directly it can improve your relationship..  If it is not handled effectively it can destroy a relationship.  With this in mind we wanted to discuss conflict and give you a simple way to address it with roommates, friends, family, etc  THREE KEY POINTS  1.  Conflict is normal, part of every relationship, and a GOOD thing! 2. Conflict is nothing more than a ​dis​agreement that if addressed directly is an opportunity to improve the relationship. 3. Basic process involves each person stating what their feelings, expectations,and wants are to each other and then choosing to do things either person A’s way, person B’s way, or coming up with a mutually agreed upon third way to do it.   SLIDE PRESENTATION  I.  Activity - Four Corners  (15 minutes) 15 minutes for 4 slides 1. The statement is read and the students go to the corner that represents their answer. While pointing, say, “if your response is red, go to that corner of the room, if it is green, go to that corner, etc 2. This activity is to help all see that we all experience conflict and experience it in different ways. 3. Conflict is NORMAL and GOOD if we accept it, don’t avoid it, and ​directly​ address the issue. 4. Read each question, allow students to move to each corner, then comment on what happens so students notice process (e.g., how many in each corner, more in one corner than another, etc) 5. Have one or two students from each corner share why they chose their particular corner.   II.  ​Video - “Norby has a Conflict”  (5 mins)   1. Explain that you will now show a short video to illustrate an example of a conflict and a possible way to begin figuring out what to do. 2. Note:  Inform students to pay attention to the issues as you will refer back to this in the subsequent discussion. 3. After playing video, ask students to identify the CONFLICT (Norby’s roommate was not keeping room clean the way Norby wanted) - They had a DISAGREEMENT. a. What did Norby do to solve his problem?  Are there other things he could have 2 done before going to CAPS?  Discuss as much as students are willing. 4. Also use the video to put in a plug for CAPS and that counselors are available at the Mulva Fitness Center to address all kinds of concerns - roommate issues, depression, anxiety, stress, etc  III.  ​Conflict Illustration - The Rope (10 mins) 1. Bring a rope (approx 3 -5 ft long) to your session. 2. Two people face the audience holding rope (one has it in right hand and one has it in left hand). 3. Say, “The rope represents the relationship between us.  When we are in agreement - like right now - there is no tension in the rope - no conflict.  As soon as one or both of us does something without the agreement of the other, we run the risk of a disagreement - or a conflict - and there is immediately tensionin the relationship/rope.” 4. Illustrate various tensions/conflicts by one moving while the other stays still OR one moves to the left and one moves forward OR one moves backward, etc 5. Note to students the tension in the rope/relationship when there is not clear agreement as to their goals, what they are going to do, etc. 6. Whoever feels tension in their relationship/rope (experienced by confusion, anger, being hurt, frustration, etc) moves back toward the other to discuss the tension and uses the BASIC STEPS TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION on the next slide.  IV.  ​Basic Conflict Resolution Process (10 mins) 10 minutes for next two slides  1. Explain the importance of resolving conflict face-to-face.  Not using social media, texting, leaving a voicemail, talking to other people without the person of concern being aware, etc. 2. Reiterate that this is a ​simple​ process ​but not always easy​.  Why this is the case can be discussed with students as you see fit. 3. Basic process involves each person stating what their feelings, expectations,and wants are to each other and then choosing to do things either person A’s way, person B’s way, or coming up with a mutually agreed upon third way to do it.   V.  ​Small group discussion activity (15 mins) 15 minutes to the end of the session 1. As noted on google slide, break students into groups of 3 or 4. 2. Have them discuss a current or past conflict and how they handled it. 3. Share how they could have handled it given what was discussed today. 4. Have one person from each group (time permitting) share the conflict, outcome, and what they learned with the larger group. 5. As students are discussing, may want to refer back to the Basic Conflict Resolution Process and the slides and/or Norby video.  VI.  ​What to Expect Thursday:  Chance to map out the experience you want to have while you’re at SNC.  Materials Needed 1. Google Slides presentation. 2. Rope (3-5 ft long) 3 

Session 11: Relationships and Conflict

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Session 11: Relationships and Conflict

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