Eros Burning: Men in the Middle of Divorce

Abstract

This research explores what happens to some men when, despite the best of intentions and heroic efforts on all sides, a marriage ends in divorce. Using a blend of alchemical hermeneutics and hermeneutic phenomenology, this qualitative study explores the lived experience of 5 heterosexual men who suffered psychologically in divorce. Divorce was examined from Freudian, Jungian, and archetypal perspectives using the depth psychological lenses of alchemy, mythology, and fairy tale. A hybrid method of qualitative analysis was created that incorporated the use of psychodrama to analyze the data. From the results of this study, the journey through divorce for suffering men can be seen as being comprised of 3 stages: a Coming Storm, a Tempest, and an Aftermath. The intrapsychic destruction experienced by many men in divorce was also viewed as an attempt at an undoing of the hieros gamos, or sacred marriage. From the results of this investigation, it is further postulated that such a divorce may be a psychological impossibility. The author’s experience as a divorced man informs his observations and conclusions