Sexual Nostalgia as a Response to Unmet Sexual and Relational Needs: The Role of Attachment Avoidance

Romantic relationships help people meet needs for connection and emotional and sexual fulfillment. In the current research, we investigate an unexplored response to feeling sexually and relationally unfulfilled: reflecting on positive sexual experiences with past partners (or sexual nostalgia). Across three studies, people low in attachment avoidance (i.e., comfortable with closeness) who were (a) single or (b) sexually or relationally dissatisfied reported greater sexual nostalgia, whereas people high in attachment avoidance (i.e., value autonomy) did not calibrate their feelings of sexual nostalgia based on their current relationship status or satisfaction. Sexual fantasies about past partners (i.e., sexual nostalgia) were distinct from other types of sexual fantasies (Study 1) and the effects could not be attributed to general nostalgia (Study 2) or sexual desire (Study 3). Chronic sexual nostalgia detracted from satisfaction over time. The findings have implications for theories of nostalgia and attachment and for managing unfulfilled needs in relationships

Pathways to Early Coital Debut for Adolescent Girls: A Recursive Partitioning Analysis

This study examined pathways to early coital debut among early to middle adolescent girls in the United States. In a two-year longitudinal study of 104 adolescent girls, recursive partitioning (RP) analyses were conducted to examine the specific factors that were related to engaging in first intercourse by the 10th grade among adolescent girls who had not yet engaged in sexual intercourse by the 8th grade. RP analyses identified subsamples of girls who had low, medium, and high likelihoods of engaging in early coital debut based on six variables (i.e., school aspirations, early physical intimacy experiences, depression, body objectification, body image, and relationship inauthenticity). For example, girls in the lowest likelihood group (3% had engaged in sex by the 10th grade) reported no prior experiences with being touched under their clothes, low body objectification, high aspirations to complete graduate education, and low depressive symptoms; girls in the highest likelihood group (75% had engaged in sex by the 10th grade) also reported no prior experiences with being touched under their clothes, but had high levels of body objectification. The implications of these analyses for the development of female adolescent sexuality, as well as for advances in quantitative methods, are discussed

Sacrifices: costly prosocial behaviors in romantic relationships

Although previous research has found that prosocial behavior increases personal and relationship well-being, a particularly costly type of prosocial behavior — sacrifice — can sometimes have aversive effects and is the focus of the current review. We consider effects for both the individual who enacts the sacrifice and the recipient. Sacrifice, can take a toll on the giver's well-being, is a mixed blessing for the recipient (when they perceive the sacrifice), and may have some harmful consequences for relationships in the long-run. We discuss the importance of finding the right strategies (e.g. alternative solutions, comparison of costs and rewards between partners, reappraisals) to navigate these complex interpersonal situations in which partners' goals and preferences conflict

Testing the investment model of relationship commitment and stability in a longitudinal study of married couples

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Relationship functioning following a large-scale sacrifice: perceived partner prosociality buffers attachment insecurity

In a sample of 229 individuals who recently undertook a large-scale sacrifice by relocating for their romantic partner’s job or schooling (i.e., accompanying partners), we tested preregistered predictions linking accompanying partners’ attachment insecurities (i.e., attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance) and relationship functioning (i.e., relationship quality, relationship conflict, and move-related relationship benefits). We also examined whether any negative associations found among accompanying partners’ attachment insecurities and relationship functioning could be buffered by partner prosociality in the form of perceived partner gratitude (i.e., partners’ expressions of move-related and general gratitude) and perceived partner sacrifice (i.e., partners’ daily sacrifice behaviors and general willingness to sacrifice). Results showed that more insecurely attached accompanying partners reported worse relationship functioning after moving than their secure counterparts. Although gratitude and sacrifice did not buffer insecurely attached individuals’ relationship conflict, both perceived partner general gratitude and willingness to sacrifice partially buffered avoidantly attached individuals from experiencing lower relationship quality, while move-related gratitude helped avoidantly attached individuals to feel that the move benefitted their relationship. Meanwhile, perceived partner sacrifice behaviors buffered anxiously attached individuals from experiencing lower relationship quality. This is the first study to demonstrate, in an ecologically valid sample, the implications of a large-scale sacrifice for insecurely attached accompanying partners’ relationship functioning, as well as the protective effects of perceiving a partner’s prosociality following the major life transition of job relocation

Understanding the links between perceiving gratitude and romantic relationship satisfaction using an accuracy and bias framework

Perceiving a partner’s gratitude has several benefits for romantic relationships. We aimed to better understand these associations by decomposing perceptions into accuracy and bias. Specifically, we examined whether accuracy and bias in perceiving a partner’s experience (Study 1: Ndyads= 205) and expression (Study 2: Ndyads= 309) of gratitude were associated with romantic relationship satisfaction. Using the Truth and Bias Model of Judgment, we found that perceivers generally underestimated their partner’s gratitude, and lower perceptions of gratitude were related to lower perceiver satisfaction. Perceivers reported greater satisfaction when they assumed their partner’s gratitude was similar to their own. Partners reported greater satisfaction when perceivers accurately gauged their partners’ gratitude experience (but not expression) and lower satisfaction when perceivers underestimated their gratitude expression (but not experience). Overall, by decomposing gratitude perceptions into accuracy and bias, we provide insight into how these components differentially relate to relationship satisfaction

How can I thank you? Highlighting the benefactor’s responsiveness or costs when expressing gratitude

Despite growing evidence that showing gratitude plays a powerful role in building social connections, little is known about how to best express gratitude to maximize its relational benefits. In this research, we examined how two key ways of expressing gratitude—conveying that the benefactor’s kind action met one’s needs (responsiveness-highlighting) and acknowledging how costly the action was (cost-highlighting)—impact benefactors’ reactions to the gratitude and feelings about their relationship. Using observer ratings of gratitude expressions during couples’ live interactions (N = 111 couples), and benefactors’ self-reports across a 14-day experience sampling study (N = 463 daily reports), we found that responsiveness-highlighting was associated with benefactors’ positive feelings about the gratitude expression and the relationship. In contrast, cost-highlighting had no such effect. These findings suggest that expressing gratitude in a way that highlights how responsive benefactors were may be critical to reaping the relational benefits of gratitude and have practical implications for improving couples’ well-being