being

It feels like home. It feels like being a child laying down in the backyard looking up at the sky. It feels like staying up late talking to your friends at a sleepover. It feels like summertime. It allows you to lose track of time. It reminds you of when the windows are open and the wind billows in the curtains. You wonder if the tree is the same one that you pass every day on your way to work. Your arm touches a stranger as you lay next to them. This installation is about being alive. It’s about those moments of wonder that make you feel so awed and inspired so profoundly that there’s also a kind of sadness that creeps in. I wanted to make something beautiful that could be understood and experienced by anyone, regardless of their background or formal knowledge of art. I wanted to create a feeling more than anything. A feeling of connectedness and joy mixed with a deeper, softer sense of contemplation. The content of my work draws from things that I find beautiful and that evoke awe, inspiration and curiosity. The audio consists of field recordings of nature, washing dishes, children playing in the park, and conversations with friends over dinner. All of this is overlaid with recordings of myself playing synth and banjo. I recorded and mixed the audio and video myself using primarily clips that I took this past year, along with some material from videos that I had taken as far back as 2016. The video is made up of nature shots, clips of my friends outside, and videos I took of myself on a solo camping trip and in my room in preparation for the trip. The videos and audio layer together to create an ambient visual backdrop and a sonic sensory experience. Making time based work, I discovered the challenge of getting people to experience the work for its full duration, especially when it is slow building work that requires a deep level of attention. A major part of my work is the experience of slowing down and taking the time to relax and just be, which is where using beds and bedding as surfaces for projection came in. When visitors lay down, their bodies disrupt the projection and they become a part of the work. Laying in a bed with others can be such an intimate and vulnerable experience. Putting it on display and inviting strangers to do it together creates a communal experience, and forces people to confront whether or not they want to make themselves vulnerable in order to have a deeper experience. For a long time, I didn’t know why I made art or what my work meant. I knew that I wanted to make something beautiful, but I didn’t interrogate why until the making of this project. I realized that in my long and tumultuous search for meaning in life, I always came back to those experiences that make me feel awed and feel like oh, this is what it means to be alive. This is the feeling that makes everything else feel worth it. In my experience, those feelings come most frequently from music, nature, and friendship. I want to make art that encompasses these things but that also holds some of the loneliness that has been inherent for me in the process of growing up, and understanding who I am and what is important to me. Early in the process I free associated a list of words that connected to my inspiration and desire to make art: being, feeling, knowing, growing up, wonder, the ocean, ritual, beauty, laughter, transparency, joy, glass, arms, sound, distraction, home, joining, friendship, language, questions, understanding, music, movement, time, being alive, being five, rhyming, blankets, softness, loneliness, journals, reflection, intuition, caring, lists, connection, friendship, being in love, repetition, having parents, belonging, meaning, terms, healing, childhood, searching, closeness, touch, feeling, sensation, teeth, decisions, rules, asking, patterns, questions, momentum, slowness, quiet, warmth, seasons, knowing, doubting, holding, peace, belonging, reflection, permission, invitation, opportunity, impermanence, realizing, forgetting, coming back around, trying new things, learning, being ok, failing, privacy, unknown, dreaming, reaching, poetry, examples, handouts, envelopes, wisdom, windows, music, doors, alliteration, speaking, trying, misunderstanding, laying down, cloud watching, breathing, sweetness, possibility, boredom, waiting, leaning, reading, folding, questions, reaching, holding, meaning, trying, being Through my work I am creating an environment that holds contradictions. It is a space to feel calm and comfortable. Its a space for laughter, and a space that might make you cry. *The first paragraph of this statement are things that people told me after experiencing my work

THAT VERY EXPANSE

Senior Project submitted to The Division of Arts of Bard College

Mental Health Stigmas in Formerly Incarcerated Individuals and the Impact of Solitary Confinement on Their Attitudes Toward Seeking Treatment

Stigmas around mental health include both an individual’s stigmas, as well as public stigmas, both of which impact whether or not an individual seeks treatment for their mental health problems. These attitudes toward mental healthcare translate into prison settings as well, where individuals are often afraid to seek treatment because of the way in which they could be stigmatized by the staff and other incarcerated individuals. Between the fear around how they might be perceived if others find out they are getting treatment for their mental health and the lack of reliable and efficient healthcare resources in correctional facilities, individuals in prison have difficulty getting proper care. Given these obstacles, individuals who have spent time in solitary confinement tend to develop health complications as well as mental health problems that specifically result from prolonged isolation. In this analysis, I reviewed the literature on mental health challenges faced by those who are incarcerated or have been in the past. I then proposed an interview and survey study to examine if having been in solitary confinement affects whether or not an individual will seek treatment post-incarceration. To examine what stigmas they might have against mental health treatment, participants would complete the Self-Stigma of Seeking Help Scale (Vogel, Wade, & Haake, 2006), and the The Attitude Toward Seeking Professional Psychological Help Scale (Fischer & Turner, 1970). The results of these surveys, as well as the interview responses, would be analyzed to explore connections between seeking help post-incarceration and prior time in solitary confinement

When I Stop, That\u27s the End

One of the hardest parts of being a creative person is not the actual making of the art. I find that the part that is most difficult is working through all the layers of judgment, self policing, and restriction we all have been taught to engage in throughout our lives. This self judgment we inflict upon ourselves is most often used as protection. It is used as a means of control over how we are perceived and received by the world, or as a means of acting in accordance with what is socially acceptable, or as a means of preventing the discomfort and pain of feeling embarrassed or being an outsider. But In order to make art you must let go of a certain amount of judgment as the work is being made. You must unlearn these restrictions. As a kid, at least for a moment, you don’t know that you aren’t supposed to be or do certain things yet. You don’t fully understand what it means to be a boy or a girl or a child or an adult or any of the markers of identity that are key in how one is meant to conduct themselves. Children give themselves permission to try all the time. They don’t stop themselves before the first step of attempt. I wanted to find joy in trying rather than the fear of trying I have felt for so much of my life. When I stop, that’s the end is an opportunity to reconnect with that childhood creative freedom. An opportunity to tell myself yes. An opportunity to let myself try. It started with direct recreations of childhood photos. In these recreations I am given the opportunity to rediscover what excited me about what I was doing, reenter my headspace, and undo the harmful ideas about the self that I have absorbed since the original image was taken. It has brought me great joy, stepping into a creativity that lacks judgment and encourages attempt. The act of performing these moments again and rephotographing them has allowed me to process multiple different facets of pain. The pain of living in a body that can only exist in a small margin of expression before it is sexualized. The pain of not connecting with the gender that I am perceived as. The pain of internalized fatphobia, internalized body shame, and all other internalized weapons of oppression that tell us “do not move that way, do not love yourself, do not enjoy your body”. It has also allowed me to fight back against these oppressive forces. Photography is often a statement of values. It often reinforces the dominant values of society. What is beautiful. Acceptable. Right. In this work I answer what my values are clearly, loudly, and unafraid. I have no desire to control myself for the comfort of an oppressive world

CAPTIVITOWN

Senior Project submitted to The Division of Arts of Bard College. Step right up, and prepare to enter the world of CAPTIVITOWN! I, Peter Fields, stand before you not just as an artist but as a storyteller and an experimenter, weaving together threads of creativity, technology, and passion. CAPTIVITOWN is more than just a project; it\u27s the culmination of years spent honing my craft, mastering tools that allow me to express myself in ways previously unimaginable. From my early days dabbling in digital illustration to my adventures in the realm of virtual reality, each skill I\u27ve acquired has played a vital role in shaping the vibrant tapestry that is CAPTIVITOWN. But it\u27s not just about the tools; it\u27s about the journey. Every experience, every triumph, and every setback has led me to this moment, where I stand before you with a project that not only engages the mind but also heightens the senses. From the sights and sounds of our digital wonders to the tangible presence of our physical sculptures, CAPTIVITOWN is an immersive experience designed to, well, CAPTIVate and inspire. Yet, amidst the excitement, wonder, dirt, and slime, there lies a deeper purpose. CAPTIVITOWN is a testament to the power of art to provoke thought, stir emotions, and spark change. Through humor and heart, it invites us to reconsider our relationship with the world around us, urging us to take action to protect and preserve the beauty that surrounds us. Prepare to lose yourself in a world where creativity knows no bounds and the possibilities are endless. Welcome to CAPTIVITOWN

Crisis and Catharsis: Altered States of Consciousness in Andrei Bely\u27s Novels

Senior Project submitted to The Division of Languages and Literature of Bard College

Please Believe: Muriel Rukeyser, Mary McCarthy, and Their Literary Lives

Senior Project submitted to The Division of Languages and Literature and The Division of Social Studies of Bard College

Beef: A Study of Hindu and Muslim Conflict in Nineteenth Century Azamgarh

Senior Project submitted to The Division of Social Studies of Bard College

The Economics of the NFL: A Strategic Analysis of the NFL Economics and Contracts to Create Future Prosperity

Senior Project submitted to The Division of Social Studies of Bard College

Connections

From my diverse family to random strangers I meet in my everyday life, making connections with people has become such a big part of my life. Everyone I have met has shaped who I am today. I wanted to highlight how even though we come from different places, cultures, and backgrounds, we can still form the closest bonds with people we never would have expected. I knew I wanted to create something to communicate comfort and something to display a series of hands, which led me to use yarn and clay as mediums. The two crocheted blankets took me approximately 275 hours to complete. The larger blanket represents the world’s currently recognized sovereign states, while the smaller one acknowledges 11 non-sovereign states: Antarctica, England, Falkland Islands, Gibraltar, Kosovo, Northern Ireland, Puerto Rico, Scotland, Taiwan, Tibet, and Wales. There is an additional square that does not represent a non-sovereign state: I see that as an open square, an unknown space, because the future is unknown. Each square’s color scheme is taken from the colors of that state\u27s flag. I formed each granny square starting from the center and expanding out. If a nation’s flag contains 2 colors, the square’s design takes the form of a spiral pattern. Flags with 3 colors were rendered as a solid square, while flags with 4 colors resemble a sunburst. Flags with 5 colors are designed as a classic granny square, and those with 6 or more colors appear as a circle that turns into a square. Not all the squares reflect their designated pattern because I am a human, not a machine. The second part of my project is a series of clay tiles. This portion of the project took about 64 hours to complete. I chose to do a series of hands because there are so many ways we use our hands to connect with others. Some people communicate through sign language, some like to make gestures while talking, and one of the most common gestures when we meet new people is shaking hands. The participants included friends as well as strangers I recruited and then got to know better through this process. Some people volunteered to cast half their hands in plaster, while others chose to imprint their hands directly onto a clay tile. The complete collection of tiles will be displayed for about a week. Then I will ask those who volunteered to take a Polaroid photo with their tile and replace their tile with the photograph. I want to showcase how people can come into our lives and also leave our lives. However, just because a person leaves does not mean that they do not stay with us in some way. The roots of my project grew from thinking about my family and friends and how I wanted to incorporate them into my work. I am an international adoptee who was raised in a mixed household with people of three different races, born in three different countries. I wanted to showcase that we can form connections with anyone, from anywhere, for any number of reasons. The exhibition also features a map of the world where people can pin the place where they identify with the most. Visitors are invited to reflect on their connections and their place in the world, and may place a pin on the map in the location they personally identify with most