De Smith, Bob

English

Dordt College

Volume 38 Number 2 Fine Arts Issue 2009 Article 5 December 2009 My Best Hour of the Week Bob De Smith Dordt College, bob.desmith@dordt.edu Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcollections.dordt.edu/pro_rege  Part of the Creative Writing Commons Recommended Citation De Smith, Bob (2009) "My Best Hour of the Week," Pro Rege: Vol. 38: No. 2, 7 - 8. Available at: https://digitalcollections.dordt.edu/pro_rege/vol38/iss2/5 This Essay is brought to you for free and open access by the University Publications at Digital Collections @ Dordt. It has been accepted for inclusion in Pro Rege by an authorized administrator of Digital Collections @ Dordt. For more information, please contact ingrid.mulder@dordt.edu. Pro Rege—December 2009     7 Bob De SmithMy. garage. is. a. mess.. . Anyone. who. has. seen.my. desk—at. either. home. or. office—will. not. be.surprised.by.this....But.still,.the.family.van.has.been.parked.outside. its.stall. for. the. last.month.. .Having.been. raised. in. a. family. of . car. guys. (my.brother. is.known.to.wash.any.car.that.shows.up.on.his.driveway.of .a.Saturday),.this.is.unfathomable...Things.are.out.of .hand...Now,. explanations. are. not. far. to. seek.. . I’ve.mentioned.one.already:..I.just.work.best.around.piles.of . stuff—more.or. less. always.have.. .For. example,.writing.an.essay.for.me.is.really.an.exercise.in.creating.unsteady. piles. of . papers,. books,. notes,. and. food.items...It’s.a.kind.of .writer’s.voodoo:..if .I.get.all.the.stacks.right,. the.paper.takes.care.of . itself.. .At. least.that’s.how.it.looks.from.the.outside...And.during.a.semester. of . teaching,. the. growing. disorder. in. my.office. is. actually. a. sign. that. I’m. humming. on. all.cylinders—or.so.I.like.to.think...It’s.not.that.I.don’t.like.order:..in.fact,.yesterday.afternoon.I.methodically.worked.my.way.around.my.office,.putting.away.files,. re-shelving.books,.sorting.piles.of .mail...I.even.cleaned.up.my.electronic.mailbox..It.felt.good—and.it’s.a.feeling.I’ll.get.back.to...But.first.we.must.get.back.to.my.garage...By.analogy.to.my.desk.space,.my.full.and.disordered.garage.could.simply.be.a.reflection.of . the.way.I.approach.most.tasks.. .And. it.does.work,.mostly,.but.I. think.I.was.better.at.locating.a.new.season’s.tools.(a.center.punch.in. summer,. say,. or. the. anti-freeze. tester. come. fall).when.I.was.30.than.50...“Now.where.would.I.have.put.that.last.spring?”Along.this.line,.I.am.famous.for.misplacing.my.gloves.. . I.wear.work. gloves. regularly. for. outdoor.tasks—it’s.a.compromise.between.my.usually.soft-handed.life.as.a.professor.of .English.and.the.rough.surfaces. of . shingles,. mower. blades,. and. wood-handled. shovels.. .Was. a. time. I.was.proud.of .my.rough.calluses:..they.were.badges.of .my.handiness.and.my.work-a-day.upbringing...It’s.not.hard.to.bait.me.into.silliness.by.appealing.to.this.part.of .me,.by.the.way.. . Just.hand.me.a. stuck. jar.or. tell.me. that.the. urinals. in. the. bathroom. are. gushing. without.ceasing.and.I’ll.wade.in...My.gloves?..See,.I.lost.them.already.. . But. I. do. leave. them. everywhere,. usually.with.a.resolve.that.the.current.place.is.either.obvious.or.blatantly.logical...Yes,.I.have.found.them.in.my.back.pocket,.and,.yes,.I.have.lost.them.for.a.week.or.more.. .They.are,. in.case.you.wondered,.always.where.I.put.them.last.So.maybe.disorder. for.me. is.defined.by. some.equation. where. the. variables. include. personal.preference,.a.real.or.imagined.sense.of .my.creativity,.habit.(both.good.and.bad),.and.those.tiny.little.holes.in.memory.that.even.(I.trust).healthy.brains.begin.to.show.at.50...But.there.may.be.other.explanations.as.well...To.begin.with.the.obvious,.my.garage.is.too.small..Of . course. it. is.. . It’s. a. one-and-a-half . stall,. wood-framed,. detached. affair. that. was. probably. moved.on.site.sometime.after.the.house.itself .was...There’s.room.for.one.car.and.space.along.the.passenger’s.side.for.shelves,.a.bike.or.two,.lawn.chairs,.the.recycling.bin,.and.an.aisle.to.walk—or.slide.shuffle...But.there’s.no. room. for. a. proper. workbench. or. the. kind. of .storage.space.requisite.to.my.needs.and.wants...It’s.a.bad.day.when.in.winter.I.find.I.need.to.change.oil.or.replace.a.starter.indoors:..I.get.claustrophobic.So. I. admit. to. envy,. though. of . a. particularly.righteous.kind:..I.pass.by.new.homes.being.built.with.My Best Hour of the Week8     Pro Rege—December 2009the.now-standard.three.(and.even.four).garage.stalls.and.think,.“What.do.THEY.need.all.that.room.for,.when.I’m.the.one.who.could.put.it.to.proper.use?”.I.suppose.that’s.what.Hitler.thought.of .Poland....To.understand.my.concept.of .proper.garage.contents,.you.need.to.know.that.I.married.into.a.family.which.once,. while. relaxing. after. a. Christmas. Eve. dinner,.and. in. the.merry. spirit.of . the. season,.developed.a.comparison.we.labeled.the.“axle.count.”..Everything.that.has.wheels.counts—lawn.mowers,.motorcycles,.tractors,. car. and. trucks,. RV’s,. even. pedal-powered.vehicles...If .my.recounting.serves,.one.of .my.brothers-in-law.was.up.to.24.(that’s.at.least.12.vehicles)...In.this.family,.I.rank.dead.last...(I.keep.a.couple.of .broken.lawnmowers. in.my. shed. just. to. keep.my.numbers.from.being.utterly.embarrassing.)..So.you.might.say.I.come.by.my.envy.honestly.Next,.I.have.too.many.projects.ongoing...Some.of .these.projects.have.been.ongoing.for.a.long.time..Others.should.be.ongoing.but.are.not.now.and.just.might.never.be...There’s.fiber.cement.from.a.siding.job,.spark.plugs.that.should.go.in.the.truck,.a.camp.stove.in.need.of .a.good.going.over....You.see,.if .I.put.all.this.stuff .away,.I’ll.never.remember.to.get.it.out.again.The. clutter. of . ongoing. projects. was. barely.manageable.until.about.four.years.ago...That’s.when.I. acquired. a. 1961. Chrysler. Newport—and. even,.a.bit.later,.a.companion.parts.car...You.would.not.believe.how.many.places.one.needs.to.put.things.in.order.to.sustain.even.a.modest.rebuilding.project.on.an.old.car...And.I.offer.this.advice:..label.everything!.Right.now,.extra.sheet.metal—doors.mostly—and.bumpers. are. in. a. rented. garage. across. the. street,.where.I.also.tuck.the.car.(if . tuck. is.the.right.word.for.a.car.of .substantial.tailfins.and.ample.grille—it.measures.215.6.inches,.18.feet,.essentially—in.length.and.just.about.80.inches.in.width)...A.set.of .brakes,.hubcaps,.and.an.array.of .specialized.tools.are.in.the.garage,. . and.many. spare. parts. (including.window.glass).fill.a. large.shelf . in.a.shed.out.back..Parts. in.progress,.like.the.radio.and.a.turn.signal.switch,.are.stacked.in.the.basement...Yup,.I’ve.been.to.all.four.places.before.I’ve.found.the.piece.I’m.looking.for..Once.even.twice..One.more.category:..stuff .I.might.need...We’ve.all. heard. the. Depression-era. cliché. about. the. box.containing.pieces.of .string.too.short.to.save...I’m.not.trying.to.go.over.that.ground,.but.my.rafters,.shelves,.cupboards.(two.I.saved.from.the.discard.pile.at.my.school..during.a.dorm.renovation),.and.floor.edges.contain. lengths. of .wood,. buckets. of . bolts,. spools.of .wire,.used.car.parts,.lawn.mower.blades,.and.bike.accessories.. . I’ve. fabricated. my. way. out. of . many.problems.by.walking.into.the.garage,.pausing.a.while.to.take.it.all.in.like.a.seer.listening.for.his.muse,.and.beginning.to.sort.through.my.stuff.Sort.through.my.stuff.. .That’s.the.best.hour.of .the.week...Now,.I.use.that.title.under.protest.and.with.apologies...When.I.tried.the.title.out.on.my.wife,.she.assumed.(quite.rightly).that.the.best.hour.of .my.week.was.one.we.spent. together—watching.a.movie,. for.instance,.a.habit.of .intimacy.we.began.26.years.ago.when.we.intently.adjusted.the.rabbit.ears.on.our.black.and.white.TV.in.an.apartment.in.Sioux.Center.just.in.time.to.bring.Masterpiece Theatre.out.of .the.snow..The.habit.intensified.when.kids.could,.if .all.the.spells.worked,.be.got.off .to.bed.by.9:00.p.m.,.the.moment.on.Saturday.night.when.Iowa.Public.Television.ran.classic.films...So.that’s.the.best.hour.of .the.week,.no.doubt.But.the.other.best.hour.of .the.week.sounds.like.this:.. it’s.Saturday.morning,.early...I’ve.made.coffee.and.poured.it.into.a.thermal.mug,.one.that.won’t.mind.getting.dirty...I’ll.put.breakfast.off .until.later,.after.I’ve.made.a.trip.to.Casey’s.Bakery.for.doughnuts.(another.habit.of .intimacy)...Right.now,.I.back.the.car.out.and.begin.to.clean.up.the.garage...If .the.day.seems.open,.I’ll.clear.everything.out,.sweep.out.the.corners,.and.re-place.everything—garden.hoses,.creeper,.garbage.cans,.pieces.of .wood. too. short. to. save,.basketball,.aluminum.cans...If .I.have.less.time—if .that.hour.is.really.an.hour—I’ll.clean.up.my.small.workbench.(it.is.a.cabinet.frame.I.hauled.out.of .the.town.dump),.putting. away. tools. (maybe. pausing. to. wipe. them.down),. sorting. through. papers,. refilling. recycled.coffee. cups.with. short. pencils,. popsicle. sticks,. and.other.essentials,.and.putting.away.those.gloves.. .I’ll.get.distracted,.probably,.finding.that.rain.gauge.that.I.need.to.put.out.or.cocking.an.ear.to.the.first.news.of .the.day.on.the.radio...It’s.oddly.satisfying,.even.if .incomplete.work...It’s.also.very.temporary,.but.what.attempt.at.neatness.is.not?I.might.even.get.out.a.tape.measure.and.dream.about.the.garage.I’ll.build.to.replace.this.one.someday..Bigger.barns,.my.son,.bigger.barns!

My Best Hour of the Week

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