The Irony of Choice

Abstract

We are having the inevitable late night conversation. You talk about your eventual wedding, your marriage to the person you love, the timeline you’ve created for yourself, and your plans for what our future children will do together. I clarify that I don’t want to have children, but you can’t seem to understand that decision. You question how happy, satisfied, or fulfilled my life will be without children, the maternal instincts I’m supposed to be feeling, and my desire to have something to care for and love. You’re convinced that I will recognize how empty my life will be sans kids and that I will change my mind about motherhood. I’m confused: why do you trust my judgment about everything else, but my decision to (or not to) give birth and raise children is questionable? [excerpt