Most computer scientists reflexively reject the idea of a malicious universe due to its conflict with the dominant scientific paradigm of a non-teleological impartially disinterested universe. While computer scientists might not view the universe as benign, neither do they view the universe as actively hostile. In addition, most scientist would take the view that a teleological universe equals paradigmatic heresy. To this we say: feh! Outsiders call us “paranoid, ” but any sensible member of our field knows for a fact that the information security universe does act maliciously. Our universe really does try to cause us harm. Two of us (Snow and Greenwald) have recently given some thought to ethical notions in a somewhat related field; we realized that du
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